The Elder Scrolls

There is a moment in life that is perhaps even more difficult to accept as a reality than parenthood.  It is, after all, the next step up.  Grandparenthood is a tough transition to digest and adapt to.  Yes, it is extremely exciting - but, it makes the Grandparent-to-be realise that they are growing old, and will now have to pass on the crown to the next in line.


I see this difficulty by observing my own parents.  Although they are both excited [and show the excitement in different ways], I can see how much they struggle with the fact that they no longer are Omnipotent - and that I get to have the final word, not them.  I would guess it is more or less the same as admitting defeat, in a way.

To some, becoming a Grandparent might be the one opportunity they have to redeem themselves and try to rectify any mistakes they may have made with their own children,  To others, it is the perfect chance of taking all that was fun about parenthood and relive it all over again - this time without having to worry about being the "Bad Cop".

As difficult as it might be for you to wrap your head around your own impending parenthood, try and be as understanding as you can with the Grandparents-to-be.  It might take you an extra effort not to bite their head off when they insist about doing things their way - but with a bit of patience, you'll manage to agree to disagree at first, and then eventually, find a solution.

I had to face this with my own mother when it comes to Childcare.  She seemed to take offence at my mentioning Childcare Centres to her at first.  She wanted to be the one to babysit for me whilst I'm at work.  I tried to word things as simply and carefully as I could, on separate occasions.  I showed her that I still had every intention of checking out some Centres - and went into detail about one of them to make her realise why I consider it to be a good option to have.  By the end of it all, she ended up telling me she now realises that yes, I should go for it.

My siblings and I grew up with our Grandparents and Great Aunt as our babysitters.  I suppose mentioning Childcare Centres to my mum felt as if I was trying to rob her from "her turn" at living through the experience.

I don't really have any advice to share - other than to be patient.  You have the final word - but it doesn't hurt to ask for the Grandparents' opinion in certain matters - it will make them feel useful and included.

The Blood is The Life

I am pierced and tattooed. I have suspended from hooks that were pierced through the skin on my back.  And yet, I have this tremendous phobia - I can't bear the idea of someone sticking a needle in my vein and either sucking out, or injecting fluids.

Whenever I go to the dentist, I'm in tears. Literally.  If I need to have blood taken, I'm in tears.  And if I need to get vaccinated, I'm in tears.

And yet, I plan to donate blood as soon as I can.

The thought has been running through my head for quite a few months now - it seems like the fact that my Creature might someday need a blood transfusion has done the trick for me.  I've made him/her my Number 1 priority - so I am willing to face my fears in order to help him - and anyone else whose life might depend on a pint of my lifejuice.

For the past 3 days, there have been articles published on local newspapers trying to bring to everyone's attention that BLOOD IS URGENTLY NEEDED - in particular Type O Positive and Type O Negative.  Much to my horror, on the first article I read there were people posting comments as to why they are "boycotting the system" and "refuse to donate blood".  Three days later - and no one has answered to the appeals.

SERIOUSLY?! Are you really willing to allow another person to die just because you want to defy the system?! What sort of person are you??

Yes, there are some restrictions which are archaic and stupid within the blood donation system.  In fact, I am hoping that I will be allowed to donate blood.  I'm O Positive - meaning I'm a Universal Donor.

I'll briefly explain the differences in blood types:

There are 4 blood types - and each blood type can be said to be either positive [ +ve] or negative [-ve].  These are Type A +ve/-ve, Type B +ve/-ve, Type AB +ve/-ve and Type O +ve/-ve. 

• Blood group AB individuals have both A and B antigens on the surface of their RBCs, and their blood plasma does not contain any antibodies against either A or B antigen. Therefore, an individual with type AB blood can receive blood from any group (with AB being preferable), but can donate blood only to another type AB individual.
• Blood group A individuals have the A antigen on the surface of their RBCs, and blood serum containing IgM antibodies against the B antigen. Therefore, a group A individual can receive blood only from individuals of groups A or O (with A being preferable), and can donate blood to individuals with type A or AB.
• Blood group B individuals have the B antigen on the surface of their Red Blood Cells [RBCs], and blood serum containing IgM antibodies against the A antigen. Therefore, a group B individual can receive blood only from individuals of groups B or O (with B being preferable), and can donate blood to individuals with type B or AB.
• Blood group O (or blood group zero in some countries) individuals do not have either A or B antigens on the surface of their RBCs, but their blood serum contains IgM anti-A and anti-B antibodies against the A and B blood group antigens. Therefore, a group O individual can receive blood only from a group O individual, but can donate blood to individuals of any ABO blood group (i.e., A, B, O or AB). If a patient in a hospital situation were to need a blood transfusion in an emergency, and if the time taken to process the recipient's blood would cause a detrimental delay, O Negative blood can be issued.

- quoted from Wikipedia

So, what does +ve and -ve mean?
This refers to something called the Rh [Rhesus] blood group system.

Wikipedia describes it as follows:

"The system (including the Rh factor) is one of thirty current human blood group systems. Clinically, it is the most important blood group system after ABO. At Present, the Rh blood group system consists of 50 defined blood-group antigens, among which the 5 antigens D, C, c, E, and e are the most important. The commonly-used terms Rh factor, Rh positive and Rh negative refer to the D antigen only. Besides its role in blood transfusion, the Rh blood group system, the D antigen, in particular, is a relevant cause of the hemolytic disease of the newborn or erythroblastosis fetalis for which prevention is key."

- from Wikipedia's Rh blood group system article.

How is this relevant to my pregnancy?
If you notice the last sentence in the above paragraph, it is quite important actually! Hemolytic Disease of the newborn or Erythroblastosis Fetalis occurs when there is an incompatibility between the blood types of the mother and the fetus. There is also potential incompatibility if the mother is Rh negative and the father is positive. When any incompatibility is detected, the mother receives an injection at 28 weeks gestation and at birth to avoid the development of antibodies toward the fetus. These terms do not indicate which specific antigen-antibody incompatibility is implicated. The disorder in the fetus due to Rh D incompatibility is known as erythroblastosis fetalis.

The above explanation is extracted from Wikipedia - for more details, clicky here.

How do I know whether I can donate blood in Malta?
Most of the information you need can be found here.  There may be restrictions not listed on the website [sexual orientation, stupidly enough, being one of them] - however there is no harm in trying to donate.

Hello world! This is me!

Do you recall the opening scene from Sleeping Beauty? A grand hall, with the King and Queen on their thrones, presenting their newborn daughter to their guests, all of whom bestow gifts to the newborn.  Along flutter in the Fairy Godmothers Flora, Fauna and Merryweather who too bestow their gifts upon the child.  Cue evil Witch throws a tantrum for not being invited and curses Princess Aurora, and the story takes off from there.

The idea of having that sort of introduction has always appealed to me.  Yes, Baptism is something that kinda has the same purpose - but that is solely religious followed by a reception, so to me, people just attend for the sake of it without giving it too much thought.  For the most part,they are spectators.  As previously mentioned, I have yet to decide whether this is something I will go for.

One ceremony I know I do wish to hold is a Saining Ritual.  I can see your blank faces staring perplexed at me in my mind's eye.  Worry not, I'll explain what I mean.


Different religions have different Rites of Passage.  As Pagans, we too have our own versions of such rites that mark the milestones of a person's life.  In Wicca, the Baptism equivalent is known as Wiccaning.  I don't consider myself Wiccan though as it is too restrictive a term for my liking.  Which is why I opt to call myself Pagan.  Anyway, semantics.

"What does it involve though??" you might be wondering.

Well, it is a ritual that involves presenting the newborn child to society, and to the Divine, without committing them to a particular religion.  And it tends to also involved a naming ceremony.  It is not a legally recognised ceremony in Malta [for now, anyway. Who knows, things may change.] however I find it suits my idea of what it all should be like.

The basics of the rite itself are pretty standard - but like other ceremonies [think of Weddings, for example] it can be personalised.  I have been discussing it with a good friend of mine and doing some research as to who has to be involved and to get ideas to design the ceremony myself.  I have come across quite a few interesting ideas, however it is still in the works.  You do need to have Baby present, of course.  Sometimes a celebrant leads the ceremony - in this case, s/he would be referred to as the High Priest/ess or alternatively, the parent of opposite sex to Baby can act out the role.  It is also standard practice to have Godparents present who pledge themselves to being present throughout the child's life to provide support and guidance.  By no means is this a legally-binding position - however to me, a person's word is much more binding than any legal contracts.  In certain versions of the ceremony, you get to have 4 people representing the elements who are also actively involved in the rite itself.  In other versions, they are not required and the High Prriest/ess calls the elements.


Ok, looks like I may have lost you there. 

Whenever a ritual is being played out in Paganism, it is customary to invoke the elements.  Since Paganism is an earth-based belief, and has no need for stone/wooden buildings to act as places of worship, it is ideal to create a 'Sacred Space'.  It becomes a place which is no place, and a time which is no time.  All the invocation entails is pretty much to ask the Four Elements of Air, Earth, Fire and Water to be present in order to provide protection and guidance.  The circle itself does not need to physically exist - it can merely be visualised.  It allows you to separate yourself from Daily Life and leave all negativity outside of that serene place you will have created for yourself and any others joining you.

There is also an invitation sent out to the God and Goddess to be witnesses of it all, and to provide protection and guidance to all people within the sacred space.  Lost you again, have I?


Ok, picture this. The Yin-yang.  Th God and The Goddess are neither 100% good nor 100% evil - for in nature there is no such absolute.  Therefore you get the white bit of the Yin-Yang sporting a black dot, and the black bit sporting a white dot.  Together, these two halves make up one symbol .  In the same fashion, the God and the Goddess make up The One.. The All.. The Source of all that ever was, is and will be,  Now, you might still be confused as to which God and Goddess I'm referring to.  Picture a disco ball.  All the tiny mirrors that make up the ball are all the different Goddesses ever mentioned and/or worshipped throughout history of mankind.  They all represent different aspects of the same entity.  The same symbolism can be applied to the God. 

As you may have deducted from the chants I have posted - unlike its Catholic equivalent, Saining would involve singing - and yes, sometimes dancing and drumming and all sorts of merrymaking.  Prayer does not have to be serious business - after all, if the Divine didn't have a sense of humour they would not have made sex such a hilarious process to have to go through. 


Last but not least, the people you need to have around are the Guests - to which after both the parent[s] and the Godparents commit themselves to protecting and assisting the newborn child throughout life, the child him/herself is presented.  All people involve get to wish something on behalf of the child, or make a promise to the child that they must stick to.

As with all rituals, Saining would then be followed by lots of delicious food and drinks and socialising.  This is where the 'reception' bit would kick in, basically.

It will happen - it is purely a matter of deciding when,and who to involve.  I understand some people might not feel comfortable attending a rite which doesn't belong to their faith.  I only hope that whoever does show up, will take the same attitude I adopt whenever attending a Wedding or a Funeral myself.  Although I am not of the Catholic Faith, I still show up out of respect for the person involved.

Clothes shopping, anyone?

You know that sense of panic you get when a special occasion comes up and you have nothing appropriate to wear?

Amplify that feeling by a gazillion times, and you might start to understand what Baby Clothes Shopping is like.

Babies are pretty difficult to buy clothes for as it is.  I decided to make my life even more difficult by opting not to find out Creature's gender until the big day.  AND! S/he is due at the beginning of February.  Meaning... I need to have gender-neutral winter clothes for the age of 0-3 months.  Do you have any idea how difficult that is?

Now, the issue is this - there is no knowing how big the baby might be at birth.  Nor when s/he actually will be born.  Thankfully, in my case, even if s/he is born before the 40 week mark, it'll still be Winter.  Imagine the difficulty people face if their baby is due in September [like I was] and s/he decides to arrive early! It would demand a completely different wardrobe, according to the weather in Malta.

My word of advice is this: get as few Newborn sized clothes as possible as there is a big chance that Baby will be too big at birth for them anyway.  And always get a variety in sizes - enough to get you started in 0-3 months, and some clothes in 3-6 months as well. 

The reason? Babies grow up fast. Real fast.

Oh, and do your bank account a favour and stay away from designer labels and from shoes.  Shoes for children under the age of 1 exist only to frustrate the parent whenever Baby decides to kick it off whilst  Parent is pushing the pushchair in a crowded place whilst trying to multitask with other stuff.

Whenever possible, go for 2nd hand clothing in good condition.  And never turn down free hand-me-downs from family/friends.  Your finances will thank you in the long run. 

Speaking of which...

Old Wives' Tales

We've all heard of them. But how many people actually know what the Old Wives' Tales are all about?


Wikipedia describes them as:

Old wives’ tales originate in the oral tradition of storytelling. They were generally propagated by illiterate women, telling stories to each other or to children. The stories did not attempt to moralise, but to teach lessons and make difficult concepts like death or coming of age easy for children to understand. Also these stories are used to scare children so they don't do certain things.

These tales were often collected by literate men, and turned into written works. Fairy tales by Basile, Perrault, and the Grimms have their roots in the oral tradition of women. These male writers took the stories from women, with their plucky, clever heroines and heros, and turned them into morality tales for children.

Let's have a look at a few of them.

• If a pregnant woman sees something ugly, she will have an ugly baby.

Have you ever seen a newborn baby? They are ugly creatures for the first couple of days! 

• A full moon was believed to cause a woman to go into labor and give birth.  

If this were true, no pregnancy would be brought to full term since there is a Full Moon every 28 days. If the Full Mood brought on labour, it would mean that the first Full Mood to rise would lead to a miscarriage.

• Using a string, hang your wedding ring over your pregnant belly.  You are having a girl if the ring swings back and forth  and it’s a boy if it swings in a circle.   

I wonder how accurate this method is. To be honest, this is a variant of the pendulum which is used for divination purposes. I don't feel that it is accurate at all since someone's hand can very easily tremble without anyone realising it, thus influencing the outcome. Also, how would this work for unmarried mums-to-be?

• The Mayan tale adds the mothers age at conception and the year of conception.  If the result is a even number then mom is having a girl.  If the result is an odd number then a boy is on the way

According to this, Creature will be a boy.

• If you have acne while pregnant, it’s a girl.  It’s thought that acne during pregnancy is caused by the extra hormones.

Extra hormones are there regardless of gender.

• People believe that if you are craving salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy.  If you crave sweets, fruit, and orange juice, you are having a little girl.  

Now, this is one thing I don't believe in. I'm nearly at the end of the pregnancy, and my cravings have not changed.  Whatever I used to crave before the pregnancy, I crave now.  The one exception I might make is Chocolate Milk. Then again, I believe cravings are nothing more than your body telling you that you need this or that. When it comes to the milk, it makes sense since milk contains calcium, and a higher quantity of calcium is needed throughout the pregnancy to help build the fetus's bones.

• The person that is most aggressive in bed at the time of conception is the opposite of what the baby will be. 

 Ok.... what if both parties were equally as aggressive?

• If the pregnant woman is graceful throughout her pregnancy, she’s having a girl.  If she becomes clumsy, she’s having a boy.  

Seeing as clumsiness increases the bigger you get - due to a bigger shift in your centre of gravity..... I don't know what to make of this one. If I were to blieve this tale, Creature's gender changed a few weeks ago from girl to boy.

• If a pregnant woman prefers to lay on her left side, she’s having a boy.  If she prefers resting on her right side, she’s having a girl. 

One's preference entirely depends on the fetus's positioning. Since Creature tends to shift his/her bulk on the left side, I tend to sleep on my right side more often than not.

• If you had a smooth pregnancy with no morning sickness, it’s a boy.  If you were sick or felt really nauseous during your pregnancy, it's a a girl.

If you ask me, if you have had a smooth pregnancy, you were bloody lucky. 


And last but not least, my personal favourite!

• If you are really moody, you are having a girl since you have another extra girl hormones in you.  Your pregnancy will make you smile and be more happy if you are having a boy because there’s a little penis inside you.