Mum's the word, they say

I hope all mothers out there had a brilliant Mother's Day!

In all honesty, I don't appreciate the occasion myself.  Why limit yourself to just one day a year where you show someone you care?  My first Mother's Day was nothing short of ordinary.  It still involved nappies and bottles and baby drool.  I see love in my daughter's eyes every day, so at this present moment in time "Mother's Day" is merely an insignificant phrase.

As HSS pointed out, the moment Morgan gives me some Mother's Day gift, my heart will probably melt and I'll start appreciating the 'holiday'.

So yeah, anyway.

Things are proceeding well.  With HSS, everything is going smoothly and I'm happy.  I have Morgan, and I have HSS - I want nothing more.

Today, I'm meant to receive a phone call form work regarding my return.  I'm hoping it happens earlier in the day rather than later so that I won't have to wait around.  Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly!

So, updates where Morgan is concerned.

On Saturday afternoon, she went out ON HER OWN for the first time.

My parents took her to Valletta with them.  I was so nervous about it! They got there and back by bus, so I was concerned that the pram might topple over at any point if they didn't manage to hold it properly.  Apparently, everything went well and my dad held Morgan for about 10 seconds for the first time.  When I was told he panicked, I couldn't help but laugh at the idea of a grown man not knowing what to do when faced with amusing a child.

Morgan also had her FIRST SLEEPOVER without me on that same day!  Since it was Date Night, and my mum and grandma hadn't seen Morgan in quite a few days, I agreed to have my mum babysit rather than a friend.  This meant that I could find some time to tidy up the house and not worry about having to get home early enough to have a decent night's sleep [or rather, attempted decent night's sleep] since I didn't have to wake up for the first bottle of the day.

All went well thankfully. 

I missed her sorely though.  The house isn't a home without her.  It was way too quiet - in spite of her being a quiet baby.  I missed her tiny nose snoring the night away and her occasional whimpering.

At one point, my brain kicked into Mummy-mode without me realising it.  As I was talking to HSS, he yawned and my hand automatically shot out and covered his mouth - just like I do to Morgan.  We both burst out laughing and he started going through all the things I tend to tell Morgan whenever she yawns and I try to convince her to make sounds whilst I tap her mouth.  

Now, I'm off to face the day.  Coffee summons!

Guten Morgan :D 14th May 2012

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

Today has been relatively quiet. A couple of friends came over in the afternoon for banter, and then my mum came over in the early evening.   I managed to tidy up the place quite a bit, since Morgan has been quiet all day.  She has been asleep for the past couple of hours, and I shall soon be waking her up for her last bottle of the night.

She's starting to take off a sock on a daily basis now.

See? Baby Bigfoot!

Every day that goes by, she becomes more and more interactive.  I can't bear the thought of our time together being limited.  I know it is for her own good - however I really wish I could be a stay-at-home mum rather than have to be a working mum.  Right now it is all I keep thinking of.  She does something new every day - and right now  I'm blessed with being able to witness them happening.  Once I go back to work, I will be missing out on watching my child grow up.  Even thinking about it gets me all choked up.  I know, I know.  I'm not the first and definitely won't be the last mother to have to deal with this.  Wishing for the "if only" is a complete and utter waste of time. And yet, I can't help it.

I hope our bond won't change.  Children tend to bond the most with their primary carer.  Once I'm back to work, I will no longer be that primary carer to her.  She will be spending most of her time with someone else.  I worry too much, I know.

All this makes it even harder for me to understand Absent Parents.  How on earth can anyone walk away from the opportunity of being in their child's life?  It is beyond my comprehension.