Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto!

The quest for names is still ongoing.

In a previous blog, I discussed etiquette and protocol when choosing names.  I am still adhering to my self-imposed rules,  There are a few names I like, however nothing is definite as yet.  I have come across a few that are confusing.  "How so?" you might wonder.  Well, the thing is this.  Certain  names not only have alternate spelling, but they also have alternate pronunciations.  This can lead to a lot of frustrations in a person's life if they happen to have one of them names.  I should know. I have heard it all - Rosalie, Rosalin, Roslyn, Rosalinda - you name it.

I have come to the conclusion that when in doubt, one should look into the origins of the name.  Let's take the name Andrea, for example.  There are at least three different ways to pronounce the name.  To me, however, it would sound like Undre-a.  The name itself is of Greek origins, where it is used for Males, and it is usually in the form of "Andreas".

A fun fact about Greek names ending in an s is that they cause a lot of people to make an ass out of themselves.

Whilst sitting at the doc's clinic waiting for my turn, there  was a couple with a young toddler who happened to be called Andreas.  "How do you know?" you might ask. Simple.  I heard his father say "Stop running around and come here Andreas."  I shook my head silently and thought to myself that not enough people research the names they pick for their children.

When it comes to formal nouns ending in an s-, such as the name Andreas, you would say "Andreas" only if you're talking about the person with someone else.  The moment you're addressing the person, you would drop the final s and call him "Andrea".

To me, this lack of research indicates the same level of IQ points as those belonging to people who pick random Kanji flash off the wall at a tattoo studio and actually believe that the particular symbol they chose means 'Strength' or 'Love', for example.  When in doubt, do some research or you'll end up making a fool out of yourself.  This, is a blog entirely dedicated to the topic.

One more thing - whenever you are weighing the options always make sure the initials don't spell something embarrassing or ridiculous.  "Such as?" you'll be asking, with a raised eyebrow.

Ok. let's say your surname is Downs.  You have a gorgeous Baby Boy, and you decide to name him Simon.  As a middle name, you choose Terence, in honour of the paternal grandfather.  Simon Terence Downs.  A good solid name, right?  Look at it again.  Simon.... Terence.... Downs.....

BAM! You've just condemned your son to a lifetime of bullying just because his initials spell the acronym STD.

Google and Wikipedia truly are your friends in these cases.  All you have to do is to look up whatever initials you've thought of and it will bring up a list of meanings.  Give it a shot! It is fun.  I looked up my own initials - RMD - and this, is what came up.  Thankfully, nothing too bad.

Be considerate - you might find it funny, but it will make your child's life a living hell.  Don't go naming your son Barry if your surname is Wright, for example.  It sounds too much like Barry White.  Hell, even I would take the piss out of someone with that name! Let alone others who truly want to bring him down just to try and boost up their ego!

Don't give in to bullying

From the moment you tell someone that you're pregnant, you're flooded with information, advice, babysitting offers, and gifts from well-wishers and peope who mean well and care about you. Gradually, the circle expands and it begins to include Other Mothers, and people you don't know, but who feel they should give you their input.

Whilst it is nice to hear other people's experiences, and undoubtedly, learn a thing or two from them that you didn't know before.... well.... it tends to get  annoying.

Don't get me wrong - I myself am grateful for all the input and advice I've been given. But, I think the bst advice I have ever been given was by a friend of mine who recently had her first child.

"Don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to."

Then above advice was handed out whilst we were discussing Breastfeeding vs Formula Milk Bottle Feeding.  Both have their merits - but somehow it seems like people tend to take a frowny attitude towards you if you dare say that you're even considering NOT to breastfeed.  This may lead to your feeling pressurised into breastfeeding, even though you didn't wish to, for whatever reason.

The same pressure can be felt in other circumstances too. For example, when good friends/family members go "You will have to let me baby sit once the child is born!" How do you deal with that? Do you say yes just to avoid hurting their feelings? Do you say "We'll see" and take things as they come? Or do you politely decline their offer?

Or how about the over-enthusiastic 'Aunt'/'Uncle' who makes all these plans for your child and tells you all about how they plan to shower the child with gifts and sweets and spoil them rotten? Or who start buying lots of random junk that you yourself were hoping to avoid ever allowing in your house? Or Gods forbid you have a girl..... all those pink, frilly clothes? Or in the case of a boy..... tons and tons of blue clothes, cars, trucks, and other stereotypical boy-things? Do you resign yourself and just quietly deal with it, maybe by telling yourself you can re-gift the unwanted gifts?

Not to mention to plethora of name suggestions that will be thrown about by every Tom, Dick and Harry who happens to realise that you're pregnant. How do you tell, say, 100 people that whilst you think their own name is fantastic, you would rather not name your child after them.

Everyone seems to become a doctor, and give you health advice, and some even go as far as diagnosing your child with whatever disease [be it an illness or just an uneasiness] they reckon s/he is suffering from.

The above are just a handful of extremely common scenarios that you get to experience - some can occur on a daily basis for quite some time!

Do not let others dictate your decisions for you.You're the parent. You know what is best in your circumstances. Make your own decisions and don't let the well-meaning bullies win.