Damn! Take a look at those breasts!

As you may have come to realise, I'm still trying to decide whether to go for breastfeeding or not.  My hopes that the Prenatal class would cover the topic  before I pop were met yesterday.  Instead of getting more answers that would encourage me to give it a shot though, I came across more potential issues.  Issues I won't know whether I'll encounter until they actually happen.

This is where you should close the tab/window if you don't want to hear about my boobs.  Just sayin'.

Size does matter
It turns out that small breasted women have an easier time when it comes to the whole deal.  Not only does their upper back not suffer as much due to increased breast weight throughout the pregnancy and breastfeeding process - but they don't face as many issues with latching as we uber-boobed women.

There is also the matter of your standard cradling position not being the most adequate position when your boobs are almost your belly button's neighbours.  This means that it will take more experimentation with different positions until you figure out what works for you.  Laying down on your side is recommended - however my question remains "What about public places?!"

When I asked the question I was assured that by the time I'm out and about with Creature, s/he will have learnt to latch on properly and I will have found a position that works for me.  To be perfectly honest, this did fuckall to put my mind at rest - if anything I found it more depressing to think that it may be a few months until I'm out in public with him/her.  The truth is, I probably will not venture out for a few months anyway - however I like having an answer as to how to deal with it if I want to face the outside world.

Not to mention that a good nursing bra is important more than ever when your bosoms are ample.  It means facing the nightmare of trying to shop around for a bra that fits.  You have no idea how difficult that can be - unless you're One Of Us.

Flat and/or Inverted Nipples
OK, this might confuse you.  I know it confused me at first until I figured out what on earth they were going on about.  The best way to explain it to you is by being graphical.

Yes - not everyone has the 'classical' nipple that we are all familiar with thanks to movies.  Just like boobs themselves come in all shapes and sizes, so do nipples and areolas.

When it comes to flat and/or inverted nipples it can be harder for a baby to latch on.  Larger areolas can also make it more daunting.

Oh, if you're not sure what an areola is, it'd be the dark circle around the nipple itself.  They can be as big as saucers at times! During pregnancy they have a habit of trying to 'swallow' your boob and expand in size - or darken in colour which makes them more pronounced.  Unsurprisingly, a lot of women don't like it.

The most common advice would be to use a breast pump before feeding to 'draw' out the nipple.  Ouch.

Now, when you have bigger breasts, most breast pumps won't be appropriate for you as the funnel bit of them would be too small.  As with the vast majority of items aimed at covering and/or providing some sort of 'service' for breasts, the smaller sizes are more commonly catered for.You're lucky if you manage to find a place willing to order something especially for you - and although the internet can be very helpful, it basically means that to buy - for example - a simple bra, you have to plan ahead and be denied the opportunity to try it on before purchase.  It is a pain in the arse, i tell ye!

Insomnia
"What has insomnia got to do with it?!" you're probably asking me right now.  Alas, it has a lot to do with it - potentially.

One of the things that is emphasised is that you must be well-rested and well-fed to be able to breastfeed successfully.

As people tend to realise after knowing me for a short while is that I'm a chronic insomniac who tends to forget to eat due to exhaustion.  I frequently have to decide whether I should cook and eat, or try for the millionth time to sleep.  This is partially to blame/thank for my yo-yoing weight.

When you're breastfeeding a baby, s/he relies entirely on you to get the nutrients they need.  Unlike the placenta, breastmilk will be much more limiting to what nutrients are passed on to Baby.  So if you're not eating right, your breastmilk will betray that factor as it will be lacking in nutrients.

On the other hand, if you're not getting enough rest, this may very well decrease milk production.  When I voiced my concern about this, I was greeted with a "For all you know your sleeping patterns might improve once Baby is born."

Heh. Wishful thinking. Highly unlikely though.  If anything, I probably will be even more stressed, thus getting even less sleep if that is even possible.  Being a Single Parent doesn't help reducing the stress as I have to be alert pretty much all the time.  I will pretty much have to sleep with one eye open as there will be no one else I can rely on waking up should something arise.


Whilst trying to find some information online, I stumbled upon this website
, and the following jumped out of the screen at me:

"Dangerously sleep deprived? Consider occasional bottle-feeding.

Great advice for people who are simply sleep deprived - not so much for Insomniacs, I'm afraid.

The one thing all three issues have in common is the following advice: Speak to a Lactation Consultant.

Locally, there is the Breastfeeding Walk-in Clinic available, which usually involves having an appointment set up with shortly after giving birth - however they also deal with walk-ins.  You're able to visit them without an appointment should you need.  Upon looking up information about the clinic, I found the following information which is correct to date]:

The breast feeding walk- in clinic is a clinic run by midwives to help new mothers with breastfeeding. This clinic is led by head midwife Ms. Helen Borg. The clinic is found on the first floor of the Outpatients Department. Mothers may drop in on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 8am and 1 pm, and between 3.30pm and 6pm, no appointments are necessary during these days. On other days, mothers are asked to call 2545 4445 or 2545 4447 to make an appointment so a midwife can assist the mother. The midwives in this clinic also visit the Obstetric Wards, to offer support to new mothers with breast feeding and also to discuss any difficulties that these mothers may have.

Mothers may attend this clinic without a referral, however there are occasions where this team of midwives may be called by staff from the Obstetric Wards or by private clinics.

- Ministry of Health, the Elderly and Community Care

Taking the above into consideration, I still have not decided whether to go for it or not.  The fact that I will return back to work about 3 and a half months after giving birth means that I will have to introduce bottle feeding.  Whether the bottle feeding will contain formula milk or breast milk is yet to be seen.

I'll keep you posted with my decision, whatever it may be.

Further reading:
Nursing Tips for Large Breasted Women
Helping Large Breasted Mothers
Breastfeeding with Flat or Inverted Nipples
Breastfeeding: Flat & Inverted Nipples Advice

I've watched a change in you

Everyone is so focused on the bodily changes they go through during their pregnancy, that they don't realise there will be even more changes occurring after you give birth other than the obvious belly-deflation and the need to exercise to get rid of any extra weigh gained.

Your uterus will shrink
By the time Baby is evicted out of your womb, your uterus is about 15 times as heavy as it would've been prior to your getting pregnant.  That does not include its contents, mind you! Its capacity will be at least 500 times greater than before you conceived.

That being said, within a few minutes after Baby pops out, there'll be more contractions rocking your uterus that will cause it to shrink.  Imagine the contractions as being the reproductive system's equivalent of a fist.  This will  cause its crisscrossed fibres to tighten in the same way they do during labour.  These contractions will allow the placenta to detach itself from your uterine wall and be ejected.


It doesn't stop there! Once the placenta is out, more shrinkage occurs as the uterus closes off open blood vessels in the area where the placenta was attached.  These cramps are known as afterpains.

Oh, and besides from shrinking, your uterus will also be moving back into its original location since it would have ballooned up and filled in an area in your abdominal cavity where it usually shouldn't be.  This whole process is called "involution".

This cramping process starts a few minutes after Baby is out, yes, however it can take six weeks or more to bugger off. Oh joy!  More pain!  I suppose it is the body's way of reminding us that we have quite a bit of PMSing to catch up on. 

The cramps will be quite intense during the first day or two after giving birth, and start lessening on the third day or so and carry on for the following weeks until the involution is complete.

You will still look pregnant for a few weeks even after the involution is over and done with, and your uterus is back in its original place.  Your abdominal muscles get stretched out during pregnancy, therefore it will take several stomach crunches and some time to lose the rotund belly. 


Boobies!
There is a fair bit to be said about the wonderful bags of delight commonly known as Breasts.  I've already touched the subject - ha. touched. - in this previous blog.  The focus was mainly on changes occurring throughout the pregnancy itself, with just a brief mention of the aftermath. 

Well... the obvious place to start would be Breastfeeding - To Boob or Not to Boob? That is the question!  I won't delve into the whole topic as of yet as I am still undecided on how to proceed myself.  I tend to like having facts and figures in order to make an informed decision, as you might have guessed by now.  Alas, when it comes to Breastfeeding, the facts and figures tend to be tainted heavily by bias - either from a pro, or a con point of view.  I don't want other people telling me "This is bad, this is good" purely because they say so.  I have brains, thank you very much.  I like using them.

One thing to know about Breastfeeding is this - your boobs won't stop increasing in volume until you stop Breastfeeding.  When your milk comes in, usually a few days after delivery, your breasts will become swollen, tender, hard, and uncomfortably full. This is called engorgement  - and when it comes to finding out how long it will last, you tend to come across a lot of "maybe"s and "should"s.  A good way to help ease the pain [yep. MORE FRIGGIN PAIN.] is to refrigerate a couple of cabbage leaves and stick them in your bra.  Allowing your Baby to breastfeed regularly and/or pump the milk out can also help - if you're opting for breastfeeding.

To tie in with the previously mentioned Uterine Shrinkage, Breastfeeding can bring on them cramps or make them more intense.  This is caused by the oxytocin that is released by Baby's sucking.  The release of this hormone causes contractions. The only upside there is to it is that the crampy contractions help reduce postpartum blood loss... which means it is your body's way of preventing you from bleeding excessively.

Weight loss
You will lose quite a bit of weight immediately after giving birth! Let's do the math...

Let us say that Baby is of average weight.... so 3 - 3.7kg [7 to 8 pounds-ish]
Placenta would approximately weight another... 0.5 - 1kg [1 - 2  pounds] 
Blood and amniotic fluid would be about another.... 1 kg? [2 pounds]

That brings us to the grand total of  4.5 - 5.7kg [10 - 12 pounds]





To me, that means more than half the weight I have gained so far.  Sweet!




It doesn't stop there either! All the extra water that your cells retained during pregnancy, along with fluid from the extra blood you had in your pregnant body, will want to ooze its way out.  This means that you'll be peeing more often - if that is even possible - in the days following birth — almost 3 litres of piss a day!!

You might sweat a lot as well.  This means that by the end of the first week, you'll lose close to another 2 kilos [4 pounds] of water weight. The amount varies of course depending on how much  water retention occurred throughout your pregnancy.

Ladybits!
As to be expected, things down below will be a bit..... eh, how should I put this? It won't be nice, to put it in simple non-graphic terms..




If you go for a vaginal birth, it will cause your vag to remain a little larger than usual. Straight after birthing, it will remain stretched open and may be swollen or bruised.  Ouch! It will  take a few days for any swelling you may have to start going down... Slowly slowly, your ladybits will start to regain their muscle tone, and within a few weeks, it will mean that your vag will gradually get smaller. Doing Kegel exercises regularly helps restore muscle tone.

*cue mental images of a Body Builder Vag.*

Sorry about that!


If you were unlucky enough to have to have an episiotomy or a tear, your perineum needs time to heal.  This means you'll have to wait for the thumbs up to be given by your doctor during your Postnatal Check-up before you can get jiggy with it. Even once you get the go-ahead, you might still be tender and sore, so it is best to wait  until you're ready.

On a side note, it seems like Will Smith's dance moves are more effective than I was aware or.... having the tune play in another tab is still making me pause from typing to dance whenever the chorus kicks in. Sad, I know. It is fun though! I dare you try and resist the urge to do the same!!

So yeah - Use the forced break to figure out what contraception you'd like to go for.  I'm told by a good friend of mine that in spite of being happy to have gotten pregnant with her 3rd child only 4 months after giving birth, she's sick and tired of being pregnant - 2 years of more or less constant pregnancy takes its toll!

Once it is time to get your freak on again, take it easy.  Things might be somewhat different now.  You may find that you are lacking a bit in the vaginal lubrication department in comparison to  what it would have been like throughout your pregnancy. This is due to lower levels of oestrogen. Breastfeeding will only make it worse as it tends to keep oestrogen levels down. Invest in a good water-based lubricant. water-based lubricant, particularly Oil-based lubricants can lead to condoms to break or diaphragms to  get ruined as they tend to weaken latex.

Taking the piss are we?
Alas, nope!  Guess what? Even peeing will be a challenge!

It might come to pass that you won't be able to feel the need to pee for the first few days - especially if you've had a prolonged labour, or a forceps or vacuum-assisted vaginal delivery, - or more commonly, an epidural.  All of these scenarios cause your bladder to temporarily become less sensitive.

Recall the constant peeing I mentioned earlier in relation to weight loss?  Remind yourself to try and pee whenever you can as you will most likely need to, even though you don't feel the urge.  If you don't, you'll end up pissing your pants.  Sad, but true.

Besides from wetting yourself, you're likely to face other issues.  For example - your bladder might over-distend itself and therefore lead to urinary problems, besides from making it harder for your uterus to contract, leading to more afterpains and bleeding.

If you can't pee within a few hours after giving birth, a catheter will be put in your bladder to drain the urine. (If you deliver by c-section, you'll have a urinary catheter for the surgery and the following 12 hours or so.)

It must be a tough life being a nurse... you get to deal with peeing issues woman might face after giving birth too!

Tell your nurse about any difficulties you may be facing when it comes to peeing - be it an actual difficulty to pee, or merely producing just a tiny amount of pee every time you have to tinkle.  If your bladder gets too full, it can actually prevent you from being able to urinate.

Moody McMoody is still in town!
Thing is, once you give birth, your hormones need time to get back to pre-pregnancy mode. This means mood swings will still be around - very much like that irritating house guest who just does not know when it is time to sod off!

Besides from hormonal  issues, you'll also be dealing with discomfort you may still be experiencing from labour and birth, sleep deprivation and the other demands of caring for a new baby, as well as the emotional adjustment to motherhood.  It is extremely common to feel somewhat down in the dumps, or even overwhelmed.  Just make sure to keep an  eye on it.  If the moodiness lasts longer than a couple of weeks, speak to your doctor as there may be more to it.

Hair loss
Some women experience a spurt of hair growth during pregnancy, only to find it falls out in handfuls once they give birth for the first few months.  It's ok though - you won't go bald.

What may have seemed like a hair growth spurt is in fact a delay in hair loss caused by high oestrogen levels.  Once the oestrogen levels drop  once more, so will your hair.

By your child's first birthday, your hair should return back to its old self.

On the up side, if you became excessively hairy throughout the pregnancy [think hairy nipples, pronounced pleasure trail on your belly, gorilla legs etc] - you'll go back  to your old self within 3 - 6 months.

What about the Skin?
Hormonal changes can cause, or get rid of acne.  Some pregnant women get all pimply throughout their pregnancy whilst others get that 'glow' everyone keeps going on and on about.  The tables might turn once you give birth.  Everything will return back  to normal in due course though.

If you have chloasma (darkened patches of skin on your lips, nose, cheeks, or forehead), it'll begin to fade in the months after giving birth and probably go away completely, as long as you protect your skin from the sun.

To conclude - you're probably going to encounter the most dreaded post-pregnancy side effects of them all.

Stretchmarks.

Unfortunately there is no way to know how badly you'll be affected by said stretchmarks.  There are numerous claims for miracle cures out there.  Different people swear by different remedies.  To me, your best bet is to eat healthily and drink plenty of water.  This will keep your skin hydrated and less likely to encounter really bad stretchmarks.  If you're the kind of person who bothers with  these things, perhaps massaging the afflicted area whilst using some sort of unscented cream - maybe containing Aloe Vera or Shea Butter - or even just making your own Avocado Pulp may help.

I'm sure there will be more changes you will face that I can't think of right now.  I'll keep you updated as to what happens once I'm in that particular situation!

Tits or GTFO

Chesticles, Boobies, Tits, Hooters, Jugs, Bazongas, Titties, Breasticles - call them what you will.  Fact is, everyone  loves boobs. 


To some, getting pregnant means they finally get "big boobs" - and they are happy with the growth and hope to keep it even after it is all over and done with.  These are usually the kind of women who lacked in the bra-filler department pre-pregnancy.

Then you get those who already have quite a bit of boobage going on, who curse the growth caused by pregnancy and hope that their breast will go back to what it used to be after the whole ordeal is over.

When it comes to The Partner, they're usually pleased with the... ahem.. new developments.  Let me tell you this though - it is not fun to go through.  I find myself in the second category of women.  It is pretty much a matter of days til I end up with my nipples saying hi to my belly button.

And guess what? Not only do the boobs carry on growing throughout the pregnancy - but if you opt to breastfeed - yes! They grow even more!  They won't stop til the day you stop breastfeeding.  If you were on the smaller side before the pregnancy, you will probably lose whatever you gained, and then some.  If you were on the bigger side, forget about losing whatever you gained. All that'll happen to your boobs is gravity.

Throughout the pregnancy, you'll get itchy boobs from the skin stretching itself, your nipples and areolas will go darker and threaten to take over your boobs, and then it will finally happen.  You'll start leaking.  Word of advice here: wear loose clothing, and preferably, padded bras.  Wearing black, and other dark colours, can help you hide the leaks should it happen at a really inconvenient time.  Get breast pads.  Or if you need some sort of emergency padding, those make-up removal cotton pads can work just fine.

If you're as unlucky as I was, prepare yourself for some serious upper back pain.  I don't have any advice on how to lessen it - though if you have a partner, or someone available on a daily basis, asking them for back rubs should be mandatory.  Try to rest as much as you can, as the moment your lower back starts hurting as well, you'll be seriously screwed.  It has been painful enough to interfere with my ability to work [since I work in an office environment where I'm seated pretty much all the time, my back started to hurt after 5 minutes into my shift.  And it hurt enough to bring tears to my eyes.  Considering I have a pretty high pain tolerance... that is saying something.]

If you have nipple piercings, get longer barbells.  Your nipples are going to swell up, thus needing more room.  If you decide to breastfeed, be prepared to say goodbye to your piercings.  Babies want to be fed every 2 hours or so, and you will have to take out the jewelry in order to nurse [choking hazard, and it can also damage their soft palate, if you don't remove it].  Your nipples are going to be sore after you finish nursing.  Putting jewelry back in, only to have to remove it again shortly after, will not be fun.

If you decide not to breastfeed, you will have some not-so-fun times ahead where you will spend a few days with your boobs being engorged and sore as hell.  Apparently, cabbage can help soothe the aches.  Refridgerate said cabbage, then get a leaf per boob. 

For more info about your boob changes, feel free to clicky here, here, here and here

.

Don't give in to bullying

From the moment you tell someone that you're pregnant, you're flooded with information, advice, babysitting offers, and gifts from well-wishers and peope who mean well and care about you. Gradually, the circle expands and it begins to include Other Mothers, and people you don't know, but who feel they should give you their input.

Whilst it is nice to hear other people's experiences, and undoubtedly, learn a thing or two from them that you didn't know before.... well.... it tends to get  annoying.

Don't get me wrong - I myself am grateful for all the input and advice I've been given. But, I think the bst advice I have ever been given was by a friend of mine who recently had her first child.

"Don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to."

Then above advice was handed out whilst we were discussing Breastfeeding vs Formula Milk Bottle Feeding.  Both have their merits - but somehow it seems like people tend to take a frowny attitude towards you if you dare say that you're even considering NOT to breastfeed.  This may lead to your feeling pressurised into breastfeeding, even though you didn't wish to, for whatever reason.

The same pressure can be felt in other circumstances too. For example, when good friends/family members go "You will have to let me baby sit once the child is born!" How do you deal with that? Do you say yes just to avoid hurting their feelings? Do you say "We'll see" and take things as they come? Or do you politely decline their offer?

Or how about the over-enthusiastic 'Aunt'/'Uncle' who makes all these plans for your child and tells you all about how they plan to shower the child with gifts and sweets and spoil them rotten? Or who start buying lots of random junk that you yourself were hoping to avoid ever allowing in your house? Or Gods forbid you have a girl..... all those pink, frilly clothes? Or in the case of a boy..... tons and tons of blue clothes, cars, trucks, and other stereotypical boy-things? Do you resign yourself and just quietly deal with it, maybe by telling yourself you can re-gift the unwanted gifts?

Not to mention to plethora of name suggestions that will be thrown about by every Tom, Dick and Harry who happens to realise that you're pregnant. How do you tell, say, 100 people that whilst you think their own name is fantastic, you would rather not name your child after them.

Everyone seems to become a doctor, and give you health advice, and some even go as far as diagnosing your child with whatever disease [be it an illness or just an uneasiness] they reckon s/he is suffering from.

The above are just a handful of extremely common scenarios that you get to experience - some can occur on a daily basis for quite some time!

Do not let others dictate your decisions for you.You're the parent. You know what is best in your circumstances. Make your own decisions and don't let the well-meaning bullies win.

Why Pregnant Women are Annoying

You know how Pregnant Women [PW] tend to seem self-centred and one track minded? It isn't just your impression. It is the truth.

Being Pregnant has this weird effect on your brain. All of a sudden, everything becomes trivial and irrelevant. Everything except your pregnancy, your baby, and your plans/needs. It isn't that PW aren't aware of it - believe me, we are. It is just a mental inability to focus on anything else. It sucks, and it is as annoying to the PW as it is to people surrounding her.

One thing I found really awkward was being around other PW who would openly discuss their bodily discomforts [e.g. how constipated they are, how they need to pee at the most awkward of times, how itchy their boobs are etc].  I couldn't figure out how on earth they could so openly discuss these things, irrespectively of how well they knew you/whoever else may be listening to the conversation.

  I found it disgusting at the best of times.

Well, guess what? I ended up doing just that myself. A couple of days ago, I got asked by a good friend if I would be breastfeeding. I said I wasn't sure as of yet.  When she asked why, I gave her an honest answer.... only to realise afterwards that I was sitting between 2 guy friends of ours.  One of whom showed clear signs of discomfort at being subjected to the topic at hand.  I apologised and said that if he ever planned to have kidlets, he could look forward to being subjected to plenty more disgusting topics.  The other guy friend just shrugged it off, saying he has sisters who were pregnant, so he has pretty much heard it all before.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this:

PW don't do it on purpose. It is just like when you're worried about one major thing. It becomes the one thing you can focus on, and soon becomes the only thing you can talk about.  If you don't wanna hear about it, you're better off breaking off the friendship, because from now onwards, it will only get more stinky and sticky.