Spring forward, Fall backwards!

So much has happened within the last 48hrs that I didn't have the time to post anything yesterday. I'm going to split this post in 3 parts:

Part 1:

The day before yesterday I read a list of the most popular names for babies in Malta. Needless to say, Maya was on the list.

I lost track of how many friends and acquaintances of mine named their daughter Maya. This means that it is harder to remember who is called what, and so I will play it safe and use nicknames when referring to them daughters' names I'm not sure of.

I will also use nicknames for sons if I forgot their names, or am unsure of how to write/read the name.

Don't take offence if I don't call your child by their name. I rarely call people by name anyway, regardless of their age.

Part 2:

Yesterday I tried and failed miserably to shower whilst it was just Morgan and myself for the first time since we came home. We were meant to meet up with my mum on the bus to go to Balzan so that I could meet with a lovely Scottish woman who was to sell me some 2nd hand clothes (in excellent condition!) for Morgan.

Morgan put up quite a struggle when I tried to bathe her - but this, was the end result.

I ended up calling my mum to come over instead so that she could watch Morgan whilst I got ready. Whilst waiting for my mum, I cleaned up Morgan, and after about half an hour, my mum came over, and fed Morgan whilst I showered. Once fed and burped, we gathered our stuff and started our journey to Balzan.


Two and a half hours and two bus rides later, we finally got there to find the aforementioned woman waiting for us. Talking with her made me miss my Scottish friends - she's from Edinburgh, so has a distinct accent (though not as thick as some of my friends'). I pointed out to her Morgan is half-Scottish, which made her go "awww" even more from then on.
 
I made arrangements to meet the same lady in a week or two again to buy some more stuff off her, paid her for this time's haul and went for coffee with my mum and Morgan at the nearby Melita Gardens Cafeteria.

One quick bite and coffee later, we made our way to the bus stop and about 20 minutes later, we hopped onto the first bus. We got off the bus at Blata l-Bajda (which saved us some 5 minutes from the journey's total bus time had we gotten off the bus at Valletta) and then got on the next bus a few minutes later.

By some miracle, I managed to get the pram inside the house on my own (seeing as whilst I _do_ live in a ground floor maisonette, I have to go up a couple of steps leading to the porch.), and the moment we walked in, the alarm went off on my mobile signifying Morgan's feed was due. I cleaned her up, and whilst feeding her, I made arrangements with my friend Rose to have another friend pick Morgan and myself up so that we could go over at Rose's to celebrate Ostara.

Ostara is another name for the Spring Equinox - it is named after the Goddess Eostre. For more info, clicky here.

Once we got at Rose's, we had banter and then, Rose and I introduced Morgan to the Elements. No introduction was needed to the God and Goddess to be honest, as I've already mentioned her countless times to Them.

We still need to do an official Saining, however this was the first step. We were joined by another two people in the circle where meditation was carried out in honour of Spring and New beginnings. Good times!

As it was getting late, Morgan and I slept over at Rose's. And when I say slept, I mean it. I forgot when I last slept THAT much. Morgan slept soundly as well. Yay!

Today, we slept in, then I called us a taxi back home since I had taken Morgan over to Rose's in the car seat - it is DAMNED HEAVY to carry. I had no intentions of walking up a couple of hills for about 15 minutes to the nearest ATM and face 2 buses and walking 3 or 4 blocks etc, all whilst carrying some 10kg total.

Once home, my mum came over and since Morgan was asleep, we managed to do some house chores. Score! My mum left after a couple of hours, and Morgan and I had a quiet evening.
Now, for Part 3...

Tomorrow, Morgan gets her first vaccine. I am _NOT_ looking forward to seeing her getting stabbed, and potentially having fever in the evening.
 
I bought a box of Arfen suppositories, just in case. I don't feel comfortable with the thought of having to use them on her, but I know out of first-hand experience how effective suppositories are. Gods know how many I have been subjected to in my childhood. I just pity her poor bum.

I hope she doesn't get feverish. I really hope she doesn't. Meh. The vaccines are a necessary evil, I know. I just worry, I guess.

My little Cuddle Monster :D

P.s. Daylight Savings kicks in on the 25th. That's this weekend. Suuuuuucks.

Help! I Need Somebody!

Mistakes and accidents are part of life - a very important one too! The younger we are, the more valuable and useful the experience will be.  Somewhere further down the line, a lot of people stop learning from their own mistakes, which leads to their getting hurt over and over again.

When faces with a crisis, quite a few people panic and end up making an even greater mess out of the situation than what it would originally have been.  Children learn a lot of the basics by mirroring other people's actions - which is why it is a very common scenario to see a child getting hurt, and only burst into tears when the person supervising them panics.  Fussing about causes the child to realise that something is wrong, and they should have a negative reaction to it.

One thing that I feel every parent should consider is learning Basic First Aid Skills.  It not only could save someone's life, but it will also help you learn how to implement Emotional Damage Control and lessen the amount of unnecessary stress you cause to the injured person, and any other person who happens to be around them - yourself included.  Knowing what to do, and who to refer to, will help you have a clear head and improve your Crisis Management Skills, as well as educate your child that just because something negative has happened, it is not the end of the world.  It will allow them to learn about the whole "silver lining" of the proverbial "cloud".

I had attended a First Aid course about 10 years ago, and never did a refresher meaning I'm not considered to be a qualified First Aider nowadays.  I do plan to rectify this as soon as I afford to [both when it comes to investing time in it, as well as the finances].  Locally, courses are provided by St John Ambulance and they have courses starting every month - which should make it easier to commit to.  If you don't have the time or money this month, look at next month, or the month after!

In the meanwhile, another good source of First Aid Skills can be Natural Remedies/Alternative Healing.  There are plenty of items in your own home that can double as emergency medication, for example.  Garlic and Honey happen to be two foods that can work wonders! 

Clicky here, here and here to scare Vampires and other Nasties away, and here, here and here, for information about the Liquid Gold that is Honey.  Please proceed to read about adverse effects as there may be information in there that is extremely important.

Most importantly, know your emergency contact information and teach it to your child.  It is extremely important to include an Emergency Contact card in your Child's personal belongings - be it a school bag, a wallet, or simply to attach it to their pushchair/pram, for example.  This will ensure that should something happen, and you're not around - either because your child gets lost, for example, or the something actually happened to you! - the child is able to get the assistance required.

Write down their name, surname, your name and surname, your contact telephone numbers as well as an Emergency Contact Person's details as well.  I wouldn't recommend to include a home address as it could produce an adverse effect.  Teach your child what your local Emergency Services number is [in Malta, it would be 112] so that if they are the one to place a phone call, they will know who to contact.  Always teach your children their full name, as well as your own full name.  A lot of children end up believing their Mum is actually called Mum.

If you think I'm being too dramatic, check out this video:

Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto!

The quest for names is still ongoing.

In a previous blog, I discussed etiquette and protocol when choosing names.  I am still adhering to my self-imposed rules,  There are a few names I like, however nothing is definite as yet.  I have come across a few that are confusing.  "How so?" you might wonder.  Well, the thing is this.  Certain  names not only have alternate spelling, but they also have alternate pronunciations.  This can lead to a lot of frustrations in a person's life if they happen to have one of them names.  I should know. I have heard it all - Rosalie, Rosalin, Roslyn, Rosalinda - you name it.

I have come to the conclusion that when in doubt, one should look into the origins of the name.  Let's take the name Andrea, for example.  There are at least three different ways to pronounce the name.  To me, however, it would sound like Undre-a.  The name itself is of Greek origins, where it is used for Males, and it is usually in the form of "Andreas".

A fun fact about Greek names ending in an s is that they cause a lot of people to make an ass out of themselves.

Whilst sitting at the doc's clinic waiting for my turn, there  was a couple with a young toddler who happened to be called Andreas.  "How do you know?" you might ask. Simple.  I heard his father say "Stop running around and come here Andreas."  I shook my head silently and thought to myself that not enough people research the names they pick for their children.

When it comes to formal nouns ending in an s-, such as the name Andreas, you would say "Andreas" only if you're talking about the person with someone else.  The moment you're addressing the person, you would drop the final s and call him "Andrea".

To me, this lack of research indicates the same level of IQ points as those belonging to people who pick random Kanji flash off the wall at a tattoo studio and actually believe that the particular symbol they chose means 'Strength' or 'Love', for example.  When in doubt, do some research or you'll end up making a fool out of yourself.  This, is a blog entirely dedicated to the topic.

One more thing - whenever you are weighing the options always make sure the initials don't spell something embarrassing or ridiculous.  "Such as?" you'll be asking, with a raised eyebrow.

Ok. let's say your surname is Downs.  You have a gorgeous Baby Boy, and you decide to name him Simon.  As a middle name, you choose Terence, in honour of the paternal grandfather.  Simon Terence Downs.  A good solid name, right?  Look at it again.  Simon.... Terence.... Downs.....

BAM! You've just condemned your son to a lifetime of bullying just because his initials spell the acronym STD.

Google and Wikipedia truly are your friends in these cases.  All you have to do is to look up whatever initials you've thought of and it will bring up a list of meanings.  Give it a shot! It is fun.  I looked up my own initials - RMD - and this, is what came up.  Thankfully, nothing too bad.

Be considerate - you might find it funny, but it will make your child's life a living hell.  Don't go naming your son Barry if your surname is Wright, for example.  It sounds too much like Barry White.  Hell, even I would take the piss out of someone with that name! Let alone others who truly want to bring him down just to try and boost up their ego!

My name is... what?

There is a standard protocol one follows whenever they find out an acquaintance, friend or relative is pregnant. First off, they look at Pregnant Person confused, trying to assess whether "Congratulations!!" is in order or not.  Once the appropriate reaction has been confirmed and executed, [if said reaction was to be positive] the standard conversation would follow these steps:

• "How far along are you?"
• "Is it a boy or a girl?"
• "Have you decided on a name yet?"

 Ah, the name. That is one question that will keep on haunting you until the very end of the pregnancy.

 "What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Juliet, in 'Romeo and Juliet' (Act 2, Scene 2)

If like me, you decide to wait until birth to find out your spawn's gender, the task of finding an adequate name will become even harder.You'll have to decide on First and Middle names for a boy, then go through the same process again for a girl.  Parents to twins+ have my sympathy - it must be hell trying to decide what names to choose, then figure out who should be given which name once the babies are born!

I set in place a number of rules when it comes to choosing a name.

1. No biblical names
2. No naming Creature after someone I know
3. No naming Creature after someone I know's children.
4. No naming Creature after an ex.
5. No uber-common names [e.g. Chris, Mark, Michael, Maria, Sara]
6. No extremely uncommon names
7. No names that are easily warped to become something rude [e.g. Josh,Garrett]
8. No names that are easy to make fun of - mainly because I'd be tempted to do so myself.
9. No stupid names
10. The initials must not spell something that will make a bully squeal in glee.

Those guidelines meant that I said no to pretty much all suggestions put forward by people who wished to give their input.  Unfortunately, I also had to change my own mind a few times as well. 

You know how everyone seems to have names up their sleeve that they'd like to call their child, should they ever become parents? Well, mine were Rhiannon and Gawain.  Thanks to pop music, I know for a fact that if I were to call any daughter of mine Rhiannon and live in Malta, more often than not people will call her Rihanna. *shudder*  Besides from that unpleasant factor, I know both a Rhiannon and a Gawain nowadays - and one of my friends actually named her own daughter Rhiannon, so that is a no-go.

I also happen to have a severe aversion to most unisex names, as they tend to be too masculine/feminine at the best of times.  Therefore, I completely ignored them whilst brainstorming for names.

At one point, I had decided I would call a boy Duncan - which meant I'd have to listen to Princes of the Universe once he's born... And a girl would be called Yvaine, after the Fallen Star in Stardust - one kickass novel written by God Himself - Mr Neil Gaiman.  This was the plan until it happened.

"What?"

Well, I was finding it so difficult to come up with a name mainly because I'm the kind of person who needs to see a face in order to assign a name to that being.  So, when I got to have a 4D Ultrasound Scan, and I actually saw Creature's face, I realised that neither names were appropriate, and therefore I would have to start my quest all over again.

My Creature :)

I spent the next few days constantly staring at the 4D images, trying to decide what name Creature looks like, besides from Creature, of course.  And then, one night it hit me.  I had finally found The Name.

At this point, you're probably hanging on the edge of your seat in anticipation. "What is it? Tell us! Tell us!" you're screaming frantically at me.

Sorry, but not yet. 

It isn't that I'm being evil..... well, not just that, anyway.  Remember the 10 Name Choosing Commandments I listed previously?  Number 3 is the reason why only a handful of people I trust know the name. 

Friendships can be ruined over someone stealing another person's future baby name.  It has happened in the past, and undoubtedly, it will carry on happening.  If you're one of them Name Stealers - SHAME ON YOU!!  It is really annoying when it happens, especially if the person robbed of the name has the same kind of rules I do.  Please, don't.  If you like a name someone has had up their sleeve for a while, and you would like to use it, ask them first.  They might not agree to its use as a first name, but perhaps they'd be fine with it being used as a middle name!

So, now that I've chosen a First Name, I get to repeat the same process all over again with a Middle Name.  Wish me luck!

Don't give in to bullying

From the moment you tell someone that you're pregnant, you're flooded with information, advice, babysitting offers, and gifts from well-wishers and peope who mean well and care about you. Gradually, the circle expands and it begins to include Other Mothers, and people you don't know, but who feel they should give you their input.

Whilst it is nice to hear other people's experiences, and undoubtedly, learn a thing or two from them that you didn't know before.... well.... it tends to get  annoying.

Don't get me wrong - I myself am grateful for all the input and advice I've been given. But, I think the bst advice I have ever been given was by a friend of mine who recently had her first child.

"Don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to."

Then above advice was handed out whilst we were discussing Breastfeeding vs Formula Milk Bottle Feeding.  Both have their merits - but somehow it seems like people tend to take a frowny attitude towards you if you dare say that you're even considering NOT to breastfeed.  This may lead to your feeling pressurised into breastfeeding, even though you didn't wish to, for whatever reason.

The same pressure can be felt in other circumstances too. For example, when good friends/family members go "You will have to let me baby sit once the child is born!" How do you deal with that? Do you say yes just to avoid hurting their feelings? Do you say "We'll see" and take things as they come? Or do you politely decline their offer?

Or how about the over-enthusiastic 'Aunt'/'Uncle' who makes all these plans for your child and tells you all about how they plan to shower the child with gifts and sweets and spoil them rotten? Or who start buying lots of random junk that you yourself were hoping to avoid ever allowing in your house? Or Gods forbid you have a girl..... all those pink, frilly clothes? Or in the case of a boy..... tons and tons of blue clothes, cars, trucks, and other stereotypical boy-things? Do you resign yourself and just quietly deal with it, maybe by telling yourself you can re-gift the unwanted gifts?

Not to mention to plethora of name suggestions that will be thrown about by every Tom, Dick and Harry who happens to realise that you're pregnant. How do you tell, say, 100 people that whilst you think their own name is fantastic, you would rather not name your child after them.

Everyone seems to become a doctor, and give you health advice, and some even go as far as diagnosing your child with whatever disease [be it an illness or just an uneasiness] they reckon s/he is suffering from.

The above are just a handful of extremely common scenarios that you get to experience - some can occur on a daily basis for quite some time!

Do not let others dictate your decisions for you.You're the parent. You know what is best in your circumstances. Make your own decisions and don't let the well-meaning bullies win.