You'll survive - You will be well, because you - you are so special and I will take care of you.

Quite a few blog posts ago, I had mentioned the importance of finding a good paediatrician and how to locate one in your area.

What I had failed to realise is how difficult it is to go visit one whose clinic is just a bus ride away, whilst still recovering from a C-Section. Them car seats are bloody heavy - and with a rapidly growing baby acting as dead weight in it, it becomes even heavier.

This can only mean one thing - I am back to square one, in trying to find a paediatrician closer to home. I spent an hour or so making phone calls with no luck.

One pharmacy said that the paediatrician was in two days ago, but that they have no idea when she will be in next. Apparently, she decides, not the pharmacy owners. I find that odd, but then again, these things seem to follow a logic of their own.

I eventually got through to a clinic which had a rather helpful person take my phone call. She said they didn't have a paediatrician but that she could give me the telephone number of a pharmacy nearby who _did_ have a paediatrician available. The woman also suggested calling the hospital and ask them to have a look at their records as they should be able to help me out.

I decided to call the hospital first, and the receptionist who took my call was a bit at a loss, however I could tell he was trying to be as helpful as he possibly could. I obtained 3 telephone numbers from him, thanked him and hung up. Not having managed to get through, I decided, "Fuck it," and called the pharmacy that the receptionist at the other clinic had given me.

BINGO! This pharmacy has a paediatric surgeon who is in every Thursday, AND a Paediatrician-in-training who is in 2-3 times a week. Cool stuff! Admittedly it is a bit of a long walk from my house, but it is doable, and very close to my parents' house and my grandma's as well.

I didn't set up an appointment though. Morgan didn't have any other explosive diarrhoea episodes. Her nose is still stuffy, but when I cleaned it with the bulb syringe this morning, it made a huge difference.

Today we should be getting a visit by the midwife, so I'll mention to her my concerns and then take it from there.

I don't want to be one of those over-protective mums who wrap their child[ren] in bubble wrap. I enjoy popping the bubble wrap way too much!

Seriously though - it takes a conscious effort to find that delicate balance between not caring enough and caring too much. If I could, I _would_ protect Morgan from every single thing that could cause her harm in any shape or manner. Then again, I know she needs to get a cold, scrape her knees, bruise her legs, stand up for herself and what/who she values the most etc. I did all that, and am glad for it. I want her to learn how to fight her own battles whilst knowing I'm there for her to back her up whenever necessary.

Until then, I'll happily be the annoying mother who continuously takes photos of her child - even whilst she's sleeping! [See photo] I really don't want to miss a single moment whilst I still can spend _this much time_ with her.

P.s. Just in case you were wondering, the telephone number for Mater Dei Hospital is 25450000, and the pharmacy that is close by is Sta Lucia Pharmacy, located in Sta Lucia. Their telephone number is 21890111, and the Paediatric Surgeon's name is Dr Chris Fearne, whilst the Paediatrician-in-training's name is Dr Bondin.

Cut my life into pieces - This is my last resort

As those of you who follow the blog know, Morgan was born via C-Section. It wasn't planned that way - I actually had every intention of attempting natural birth - free of painkillers, even! Alas it was not meant to be.
I covered the details of the operation itself in a previous entry. What I wished to emphasise today is that a C-Section is not something to be taken lightly. A lot of people seem to think of it as a quick fix, or an easy way out. The truth is - a C-Section is MAJOR surgery. One with side-effects that can last until the day you die.

The side-effects I speak of are namely scar tissue, and nerve damage. It has been just over a week since I've been sliced and diced, and my incision feels numb. The numbness starts from just above my belly button, and extends halfway down to my pubic mound. It makes for a very peculiar sensation - almost as if you're wearing something that is too tight which is blocking your circulation. From what I read, the numbness lasts anywhere between a few months, and the day you die. When you're cut open, nerves are cut through too. This causes damages to them that can be beyond repair.

Although from the outside, the scar itself is looking neat, I can feel scar tissue building up on the inside, and this makes it more uncomfortable for me.

I have complained about the lack of independence you have to deal with when you're pregnant in another post, however C-Section recovery is even worse. How? Well.. I have been instructed not to carry anything heavier than Morgan. For about 6 weeks post-operation. She weighs just over 3kg. This means that strictly speaking I should not be carrying a couple of 2 litre water bottles - a restriction I find both ridiculous and extremely irking. I also am to avoid going up and down stairs. Good thing I live on ground floor.

Getting sewn up takes longer than having your baby cut out of your womb does. This means that whereas those who give birth naturally can potentially spend time with their newborn straight away, with a C-Section, you can't. Baby is taken away from you to be seen by the paediatrician and weighed and cleaned up and dressed. This, whilst they sew you up.

Then there is the fact that your guts are handled. Following the operation, there may be numerous issues related to your bowels. The chances of bowel injuries put aside, some women find it painful to poop, suffer constipation, or diarrhoea. This may be temporary, but it might also be long-term.

This link highlights in more detail what the risks are, and gives you links on how to prepare yourself for a C-Section and what not.

If you attend Prenatal Classes, make sure you attend both the sessions about Natural Birth, as well as the C-section. You never know what might happen - my case is a typical example.

Also, inform yourself before going for an Elective C-Section. The pain of natural childbirth might be more desirable to you once you get all your facts and figures.

Regardless of what birthing method you go for, ensure you have plenty of support available to you for the weeks following the birth. You will need every tiny bit of help thrown your way. Do your best not to over-exert yourself or you might suffer its repercussions in the long run.

Now, onto the personal updates which I'm sure a good number of you are wanting. Morgan is enjoying using me as her furniture (see photo) still, and I love it. Having her sleep on top of me is comforting for both. After spending 9 months sharing my body, being in such close proximity decreases any separation anxiety ewe might go through otherwise. She saved a Mega Nappy for my sis today - uber-poopy AND pissy, only to pee on my sister's finger whilst cleaning her up. I found it hilarious!

 Mama' mattress!

She also got given yet another load of pink clothes. Cute warm clothes which I will have to come up with clever combos to balance out the pink overdose. I blame the shops, not the people. Damn shops stock up on too much pink, blue and white, and little else.

Off to snooze with my little Fairy now!