I got 5 on it

7th April - Saturday night:

I failed.

I tried to go out. I didn't even last 2 and a half hours before I came back home to be with Morgan. The gig I went to happened to feature one of my favourite locals bands, too! And yet, the urge to come back home and be with her was too overwhelming.

Thankfully, a friend offered me a ride home as he wasn't in the mood to stay out. The moment I got back home, I rushed to Morgan's side and held her hand. She stirred, slightly, and I breathed out a sigh of relief.

I snuggled up in bed next to her and fell asleep shortly after.

Easter Sunday (8th April):

Woke up, fed Morgan, and stayed in bed for as long as I could together with Morgan. My grandma gave Morgan a teddy bear soft toy with an easter egg attached to it. The egg, I'll be munching on this year. The bear will be enjoyed by Morgan when she's a bit older since it has choking hazards (beady eyes and a glued-on nose that could be easily pulled off).

My sisters visited briefly, and in the afternoon, my elder sister, Morgan and I walked back home. I noticed how used I have gotten to pushing a pram whilst walking with my sis. I let her push the pram and Gods know how many times she bumped into things (like the edge of the pavement, potholes or doorsteps). When pushing a pram or pushchair, one has to examine the ground that is way ahead of them all the time and memorise what obstacles are present. It is similar to programming your very own Mental GPS System.

Woe is me!

Once home, she hung out with Morgan and myself for a short while and then left us to a nice relaxed evening of watching Once Upon A Time together.


I bathed Morgan upon her request. "How?" you might be wondering. Well, Morgan very rarely is fussy. On Sunday early evening, she was fussy for no apparent reason and kept fidgeting. I took her to the nappy changer so that I could have a peek and see if she needed a nappy change. The moment I lay her down, she stopped whining. That is when I realised that she actually _wanted_ a bath! She is starting to enjoy being buttnaked and feeling all fresh and clean. Right after bathing her, drying her up and clothing her, she fell asleep in my arms. I woke her up to feed her and she then went back to sleep. Later, I woke her up again for another feed and yet again, she drifted back to sleep straight away!

Monday (9th April):

Willow & Dimi [her dad], Morgan & myself :)

We met Becca, Dimi and Willow in Valletta! This was Morgan's first encounter with another baby. It was good to finally meet Willow as Becca and I have pretty much followed one another's pregnancies and parenthood up til now.



Willow seemed interested in Morgan, but Morgan's attention span is still limited and so there wasn't much interaction yet. It was still pretty cool.

Morgan and I in Valletta

I do have a complaint though. We went to this cafeteria just opposite the St John's Co-cathedral, and were left waiting for food for about an HOUR AND A HALF. With TWO babies. All we wanted was a pizza, a burger and a salad. No biggie! We ended up paying for our drinks and going elsewhere. This time round, food only took about 15 minutes and the waiter was nice enough to get me a jug of boiling water for me to warm up Morgan's bottle when it was time for her to eat.


It was really awesome watching Willow make a mess of her fruit puree food thingy! I can't wait til Morgan starts the weaning process! I'm sure I'll be exasperated at times, but food is meant to be enjoyed and boy do babies enjoy it!!

Right after saying our farewells, I took Morgan to Paola to meet up with my mum. We had coffee, and afterwards Morgan and I came home.

Morgan then requested she be bathed. I'm not kidding! She was restless and cranky, so I put her on the nappy changer to check if she needed a nappy change. The moment she was flat on her back, her mood improved and I realised she wanted a bath. Thus, I obliged. She was really cheerful afterwards!
We were both pretty tired, and so we just hung out and eventually went to sleep.

Yes, I hang out with my baby. She's cool! I actually enjoy spending so much time with her, watching movies, playing, listening to music, going places etc. She's fun and good company.
We watched some more Once Upon a Time episodes, and then it was soon bedtime.

Tuesday 10th April 2012:

We took it easy. Didn't go anywhere as it would have been too tiring. We watched the last few episodes of Once Upon A Time, and then watched Van Helsing. Both Morgan and I nodded off whilst watching it though. All the running around we have been doing lately tends to drain me. Plus, all that fresh air tires her out too.

Yet again, Morgan requested a bath at about 6-7pm. She seems to now want to be bathed before her early evening bottle is fed to her. I'm fine with that timing as it means she gets the day's grime off her early, but not too early so that she's still clean by bedtime.

Oh, and we had an "argument".  Morgan kept spitting out her dummy and trying to suck on her hand. I'd stop her and stick the dummy back in her mouth only for her to spit it out again and suck on her hand.  We spent some 5 minutes at it.   She then accepted the dummy, but shortly after I noticed she was trying to sneakily replace the dummy with her hand again.

Sneaky baby!

We played quite a bit and once it was time for her to have her night bottle - around 10:15pm, I decided I'd join her as I was pretty exhausted.

Wednesday 11th April:
Got woken up at about 5:15am by Morgan who seemed to have gotten hungry earlier than usual. Unfortunately it meant I also had to prepare the day's bottles at silly o'clock.

The steam steriliser took forever. Once it turned itself off, I prepared the bottles, put them in the fridge, and rejoined Morgan in bed. She had stayed up waiting for me to return to bed.

We snoozed some more, until Morgan decided she had had enough at about 9:15am and wanted to watch the light change through the window and to play. I laid her on the bed in front of me and we played for a while until it was time for her next feed.

Once cleaned up and fed, we set out to go pick up a parcel sent by her Paternal Granny from the post office. Such awesome stuff was contained in said parcel! A couple of outfits, a hat, a "Superhero" cushion - I call it so because the cushion cover has the letter M on it. Reminds me of the Superman S and stuff. Also, a giggle toy (one whose belly you press for it to make a sound), a pair of sandals, and a face cloth which is hilarious and awesome! It is one of them thingies you put in water and they expand. Its got a dinosaur on it, called Morganosaurus. The moment I read out its name, Morgan grinned. She seems to like punny stuff. *grin*

We stopped by at my grandma's, then went for coffee with my mum. Yes, I really like coffee. After coffeetimes were had, we returned back to my grandma's for a while. Since it was rather cloudy and drizzly, the moment the sun came out, we set on our way back home lest it rains.

Once back home, we just chilled and played. Morgan seemed to be amused by my singing along to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" as she grinned when I started singing along to it. I had the same reaction from her a few days ago, but it was with Walk Like An Egyptian. She has good taste in music!

I bathed Morgan, fed her, played some more and she then nodded off. Took care of some laundry which I only just remembered I need to attend to... Argh! I don't feel like dragging my tired arse out of bed! Ah well. I suppose I have to anyway in order to edit this post once I submit it to my laptop..
I only just fed and cleaned up Morgan for the last time today. She is now fast asleep in bed.

Oh, epic news! Her Paternal Granny just rebooked her flight! In just about 6 weeks, she'll be over! It will mean that my time at home with Morgan would be nearly up, but I suppose at least it is something to look forward to. A way to sugar coat it all, if you will.

I'm still waiting to find out what is going to happen at work. I called yesterday and was told they'll call me back.

I'm still wishing I had the luxury of being a stay-at-home mum.
 
Ah well.

If you've managed to read all of the above - well done! Here's a cookie!

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from GO Mobile

Cut my life into pieces - This is my last resort

As those of you who follow the blog know, Morgan was born via C-Section. It wasn't planned that way - I actually had every intention of attempting natural birth - free of painkillers, even! Alas it was not meant to be.
I covered the details of the operation itself in a previous entry. What I wished to emphasise today is that a C-Section is not something to be taken lightly. A lot of people seem to think of it as a quick fix, or an easy way out. The truth is - a C-Section is MAJOR surgery. One with side-effects that can last until the day you die.

The side-effects I speak of are namely scar tissue, and nerve damage. It has been just over a week since I've been sliced and diced, and my incision feels numb. The numbness starts from just above my belly button, and extends halfway down to my pubic mound. It makes for a very peculiar sensation - almost as if you're wearing something that is too tight which is blocking your circulation. From what I read, the numbness lasts anywhere between a few months, and the day you die. When you're cut open, nerves are cut through too. This causes damages to them that can be beyond repair.

Although from the outside, the scar itself is looking neat, I can feel scar tissue building up on the inside, and this makes it more uncomfortable for me.

I have complained about the lack of independence you have to deal with when you're pregnant in another post, however C-Section recovery is even worse. How? Well.. I have been instructed not to carry anything heavier than Morgan. For about 6 weeks post-operation. She weighs just over 3kg. This means that strictly speaking I should not be carrying a couple of 2 litre water bottles - a restriction I find both ridiculous and extremely irking. I also am to avoid going up and down stairs. Good thing I live on ground floor.

Getting sewn up takes longer than having your baby cut out of your womb does. This means that whereas those who give birth naturally can potentially spend time with their newborn straight away, with a C-Section, you can't. Baby is taken away from you to be seen by the paediatrician and weighed and cleaned up and dressed. This, whilst they sew you up.

Then there is the fact that your guts are handled. Following the operation, there may be numerous issues related to your bowels. The chances of bowel injuries put aside, some women find it painful to poop, suffer constipation, or diarrhoea. This may be temporary, but it might also be long-term.

This link highlights in more detail what the risks are, and gives you links on how to prepare yourself for a C-Section and what not.

If you attend Prenatal Classes, make sure you attend both the sessions about Natural Birth, as well as the C-section. You never know what might happen - my case is a typical example.

Also, inform yourself before going for an Elective C-Section. The pain of natural childbirth might be more desirable to you once you get all your facts and figures.

Regardless of what birthing method you go for, ensure you have plenty of support available to you for the weeks following the birth. You will need every tiny bit of help thrown your way. Do your best not to over-exert yourself or you might suffer its repercussions in the long run.

Now, onto the personal updates which I'm sure a good number of you are wanting. Morgan is enjoying using me as her furniture (see photo) still, and I love it. Having her sleep on top of me is comforting for both. After spending 9 months sharing my body, being in such close proximity decreases any separation anxiety ewe might go through otherwise. She saved a Mega Nappy for my sis today - uber-poopy AND pissy, only to pee on my sister's finger whilst cleaning her up. I found it hilarious!

 Mama' mattress!

She also got given yet another load of pink clothes. Cute warm clothes which I will have to come up with clever combos to balance out the pink overdose. I blame the shops, not the people. Damn shops stock up on too much pink, blue and white, and little else.

Off to snooze with my little Fairy now!