MY sincere apologies for being gone for so long! Life is crazily hectic - I guess you knew that already though.
So, here we are.
The blog turned ONE last November. Happy Belated Birthday, Blog!
Sorry! *pats Blog's head*
Since mid-August, we have been going to, and coming from, hospital on a regular basis due to Morgan's recurring UTIs. I believe I had previously mentioned the plan re: her surgery. It is meant to be happening on the 5th of February.
MEANT TO.
I got a phone call from hospital a couple of days ago saying "Sorry, the operation is now rescheduled to happen on the 2nd of April."
2ND APRIL?!
Needless to say, the above picture is a perfect depiction of what was going through my head the moment I heard the news. This meant we were increasing the chances of Morgan getting a 4th infection by delaying the operation, and thus giving a bigger time window for a nasty bug to find its way into Morgan's system and defying the daily antibiotics. It also meant I have to try and reschedule time off work. And another thing - it means Morgan will spend a longer period of time on the antibiotics. I dread the day she will no longer be on the meds - her poor immune system will get quite a shock!
And to think we were so close to finally being [potentially] over and done with this seemingly never ending saga!
Ah well.
On a more positive note - Morgan turns 11 months old today! I officially no longer have a baby - she has become a full-fledged toddler.
She is constantly cruising around the house and has become a super fast crawling machine. She enjoys:
Bath time! [10Dec2012]
Spending time outdoors [15Dec2012]
Wreaking havoc! [15Dec2012]
Playing! [Yule 2012]
Exploring [Dec2012]
Feeding herself [31Dec2012]
She is amazing - a huge handful, but fun. She loves books and is extremely inquisitive.
So far, she says "Ħeqq!", "Mama", "Papa", "Ejja", "Baba" [bottle], "Adda" [id-dawl], "Da" [duck]. [Ħeqq being a Maltese expression equivalent to 'oh' or shrugging one's shoulders, Ejja meaning 'Come' which she usually says when she wants us to pick her up, Adda being her way of saying Id-Dawl meaning 'The Light'].
Morgan has also mastered going down the small step that leads to the back yard. It took her a few tries, but yesterday she managed to go down the step by crawling forward. She then started crawling up and down the stair repeatedly.
Today she took hold of my hand and went down the same step by WALKING. This was followed by her crawling up a full-sized step to get into the wash room without any help.
I fear one of these days I'll wake up and she'll be there, packing her bags telling me she's going to move out. I know it will happen eventually, but I'd rather it didn't happen before another 18 years or so.
Morgan is currently 79cm [31 inches] in height, with a head circumference of 48cm [19 inches]. She is wearing 12-18 month sized clothing comfortably, and is rapidly moving towards the 18-24 month sized clothing! We, my friends, have a ginormous child. Her feet are way too wide for 'normal' shoes - out of the 10 pairs she owns [which is more than I own myself!] none fit her. I'm in the process of trying to figure out her feet's measurements so that I can hunt for wide fitting toddler shoes.
Next month is her birthday! I've started working on getting everything together for said occasion - the invites are designed, and supplies are increasing. Next I'll be working on what foodstuffs to prepare, whilst trying to come up with a venue. Our home is too small to throw a party in, I think. Any suggestions are welcome [as long as they're not McDonald's. She's too young for that and I'd rather not encourage junk food consumption, anyway.].
Now, for the cliché section: Today is NYE. Therefore an End of Year statement is expected.
This year for me has been one of the hardest - if not the hardest - ever. Nevertheless, it has been the happiest year of my life. There were so many Firsts! So many new things to learn and to experience! I went through childbirth [albeit via C-section], learnt how to look after someone else to the extent of it being a life-or-death matter, learnt how to change a nappy whilst in zombie mode, prepare bottles and baby food, and a million other things. I learnt the joys and the sorrows of Motherhood. Or at least, I've learnt the better part of the first chapter of Motherhood. There will undoubtedly be much more hurdles to overcome and a lot more joys to experience.
I also came to realise, and accept, that I have finally found my soul mate. For the first time ever, I'm in a relationship where obstacles and problems have been thrown in our way ever since day one, however we managed to face every challenge together and become closer as a consequence. This is probably the one relationship with the most difficulties I've ever experienced - and I'm happy. Goes to show that communication truly is the key to keep things plain sailing.
2012 has also been the first year since the year 2000 during which I have not attended a funeral. Having said that, my family's she-dog did get put to sleep shortly after Morgan was born, so it wasn't an entirely death-free year. Still - I'm grateful for a break from mourning newly deceased friends and family members. Hopefully I'm not jinxing it since there's still 13 and a half hours to go until the end of the year is official.
Another good thing that happened this year was becoming an Admin on the wonderful Facebook community known as The Pagan Mama. It is always a joy posting stuff and interacting with the Mamas, Papas and Friends forming part of the community. It is pretty much the closest thing to a 'mummy club' I'll ever get to - and that's perfectly fine with me!
A fair number of friends and acquaintances have also had a lot on their plate this year - people they knew or were related to passed away, a good number had to handle major illnesses and are still battling them, break-ups and a plethora of other occurrences. To you all, my beloved, I'd like to say one thing. And that's:
So, in conclusion - THANK YOU to everyone who made this year the way it was. A special thank you goes to my wonderful man - who is the best Father Morgan could have ever hoped for, and who is also the one I hope to have with me for the rest of my days. And ultimately, thank you to Morgan - my beautiful, inquisitive, courageous, free spirited, good, perfect, happy daughter who made my life worth living, and who made me proud to call myself Mama'.
Earlier I started writing a blog post, which I never finished. However, I now want to rant a bit, soi I'll return back to my unfinished entry later.
It is a known fact that I reckon the 80s were awesome and that music nowadays tends to suck. I was pleasantly surprised by this track:
I like it. Not just because of the moobs. The lyrics make sense, without being vulgar, and are made up of real words, using good grammar. The video is simplistic, and interesting. And, his voice reminds me of Peter Gabriel. The track sounds like something Genesis could have come up with. Although more upbeat, it reminds me of one of the most beautiful songs I've ever stumbled across, namely:
Gotye's track is probably the only new song I've sincerely liked in years [excluding metal]. Whenever I'm at my parents' house, or my grandma's house, I check out the various music video channels and always hear crappy music, with sexualised videos to accompany them.
Since when has it become necessary to have boobs hanging out, arses hanging out, and dance moves a stripper would use regularly during a night's work? Yes, sex sells. But seriously, is it REALLY necessary?
It makes me wonder - what the actual fuck?!
Singers are common role models- young children aspire to be like them. How exactly did we shift from finding adorable that a child does the moonwalk to finding adorable that a child can do the booty pop?
The worrying thing is that in spite of one's attempts at teaching children right from wrong and all that jazz, you as a parent are not the only person in their life. They will be exposed to that kind of junk - either by other relatives who will be more lenient than you, or by peers especially once they are at school.
I can only hope that Morgan won't like the kind of over-sexualised crap that we're bombarded with nowadays.
Last night was an insomniac one for me where I decided I would start making my grandma's house more toddler-friendly as of now. Whilst tidying up I found Pimp Sunglasses. *points at picture*
Morgan and I will be playing dress-up A LOT when she's older, I'm sure. As much as I hate to admit it, she pulls off pink perfectly. I hate pink. She has received a fair amount of clothes in different shades of the colour. I don't blame people for giving pink crap though - it is rather hard to find neutral coloured clothing!
I _will_ be taking her to a paediatrician today as her stuffy nose got worse last night, in spite of my cleaning her nose several times.
Today is also one of them days which make you regret being cooped up inside, so I might take her out for a walk too.
As those of you who follow the blog know, Morgan was born via C-Section. It wasn't planned that way - I actually had every intention of attempting natural birth - free of painkillers, even! Alas it was not meant to be.
I covered the details of the operation itself in a previous entry. What I wished to emphasise today is that a C-Section is not something to be taken lightly. A lot of people seem to think of it as a quick fix, or an easy way out. The truth is - a C-Section is MAJOR surgery. One with side-effects that can last until the day you die.
The side-effects I speak of are namely scar tissue, and nerve damage. It has been just over a week since I've been sliced and diced, and my incision feels numb. The numbness starts from just above my belly button, and extends halfway down to my pubic mound. It makes for a very peculiar sensation - almost as if you're wearing something that is too tight which is blocking your circulation. From what I read, the numbness lasts anywhere between a few months, and the day you die. When you're cut open, nerves are cut through too. This causes damages to them that can be beyond repair.
Although from the outside, the scar itself is looking neat, I can feel scar tissue building up on the inside, and this makes it more uncomfortable for me.
I have complained about the lack of independence you have to deal with when you're pregnant in another post, however C-Section recovery is even worse. How? Well.. I have been instructed not to carry anything heavier than Morgan. For about 6 weeks post-operation. She weighs just over 3kg. This means that strictly speaking I should not be carrying a couple of 2 litre water bottles - a restriction I find both ridiculous and extremely irking. I also am to avoid going up and down stairs. Good thing I live on ground floor.
Getting sewn up takes longer than having your baby cut out of your womb does. This means that whereas those who give birth naturally can potentially spend time with their newborn straight away, with a C-Section, you can't. Baby is taken away from you to be seen by the paediatrician and weighed and cleaned up and dressed. This, whilst they sew you up.
Then there is the fact that your guts are handled. Following the operation, there may be numerous issues related to your bowels. The chances of bowel injuries put aside, some women find it painful to poop, suffer constipation, or diarrhoea. This may be temporary, but it might also be long-term.
This link highlights in more detail what the risks are, and gives you links on how to prepare yourself for a C-Section and what not.
If you attend Prenatal Classes, make sure you attend both the sessions about Natural Birth, as well as the C-section. You never know what might happen - my case is a typical example.
Also, inform yourself before going for an Elective C-Section. The pain of natural childbirth might be more desirable to you once you get all your facts and figures.
Regardless of what birthing method you go for, ensure you have plenty of support available to you for the weeks following the birth. You will need every tiny bit of help thrown your way. Do your best not to over-exert yourself or you might suffer its repercussions in the long run.
Now, onto the personal updates which I'm sure a good number of you are wanting. Morgan is enjoying using me as her furniture (see photo) still, and I love it. Having her sleep on top of me is comforting for both. After spending 9 months sharing my body, being in such close proximity decreases any separation anxiety ewe might go through otherwise. She saved a Mega Nappy for my sis today - uber-poopy AND pissy, only to pee on my sister's finger whilst cleaning her up. I found it hilarious!
Mama' mattress!
She also got given yet another load of pink clothes. Cute warm clothes which I will have to come up with clever combos to balance out the pink overdose. I blame the shops, not the people. Damn shops stock up on too much pink, blue and white, and little else.
Anyone who has been a 'friend' of mine on Facebook for at least a year knows I like countdowns. Not just generic countdowns. Mine would be exact to the minute. I like counting down to whatever it may be that I'll be looking forward to. Travels, a particular event- you name it.
Therefore, this sucks.
I don't like not knowing when Creature will be here. Having an estimation is not good enough for me.I have come to realise that I really do love plotting and planning! Not just evil mischievous schemes - but serious stuff too.
A friend of mine recently asked me if I had any dreams in life. I thought about it for awhile and realised that I don't. I don't have dreams - I have plans.
Not so much nowadays.
I grew accustomed to being in control at all times of my life.I don't like being helpless or having to rely on others.That is why it has been so tough for me to adapt - I think I have come a long way though when it comes to involving others in things I cannot take care of myself at this present moment in time.
I only wish I had a better idea of when Creature will be evicted from my womb.
I look forward to having my internal organs shift back to their original places and to be able to sleep on my stomach again!
There will be plenty of challenges I will have to face, mind you. I am currently trying to figure out how on earth I will manage to successfully have a shower with Creature around.I will have to keep him/her close so I can keep an eye on him/her. Either that, or have someone come over and babysit whilst I shower.
Cooking might be tricky as well - mainly to keep the food from getting burnt. Ah well, practise makes perfect they say!
Everyone is so focused on the bodily changes they go through during their pregnancy, that they don't realise there will be even more changes occurring after you give birth other than the obvious belly-deflation and the need to exercise to get rid of any extra weigh gained.
Your uterus will shrink
By the time Baby is evicted out of your womb, your uterus is about 15 times as heavy as it would've been prior to your getting pregnant. That does not include its contents, mind you! Its capacity will be at least 500 times greater than before you conceived.
That being said, within a few minutes after Baby pops out, there'll be more contractions rocking your uterus that will cause it to shrink. Imagine the contractions as being the reproductive system's equivalent of a fist. This will cause its crisscrossed fibres to tighten in the same way they do during labour. These contractions will allow the placenta to detach itself from your uterine wall and be ejected.
It doesn't stop there! Once the placenta is out, more shrinkage occurs as the uterus closes off open blood vessels in the area where the placenta was attached. These cramps are known as afterpains.
Oh, and besides from shrinking, your uterus will also be moving back into its original location since it would have ballooned up and filled in an area in your abdominal cavity where it usually shouldn't be. This whole process is called "involution".
This cramping process starts a few minutes after Baby is out, yes, however it can take six weeks or more to bugger off. Oh joy! More pain! I suppose it is the body's way of reminding us that we have quite a bit of PMSing to catch up on.
The cramps will be quite intense during the first day or two after giving birth, and start lessening on the third day or so and carry on for the following weeks until the involution is complete.
You will still look pregnant for a few weeks even after the involution is over and done with, and your uterus is back in its original place. Your abdominal muscles get stretched out during pregnancy, therefore it will take several stomach crunches and some time to lose the rotund belly.
Boobies!
There is a fair bit to be said about the wonderful bags of delight commonly known as Breasts. I've already touched the subject - ha. touched. - in this previous blog. The focus was mainly on changes occurring throughout the pregnancy itself, with just a brief mention of the aftermath.
Well... the obvious place to start would be Breastfeeding - To Boob or Not to Boob? That is the question! I won't delve into the whole topic as of yet as I am still undecided on how to proceed myself. I tend to like having facts and figures in order to make an informed decision, as you might have guessed by now. Alas, when it comes to Breastfeeding, the facts and figures tend to be tainted heavily by bias - either from a pro, or a con point of view. I don't want other people telling me "This is bad, this is good" purely because they say so. I have brains, thank you very much. I like using them.
One thing to know about Breastfeeding is this - your boobs won't stop increasing in volume until you stop Breastfeeding. When your milk comes in, usually a few days after delivery, your breasts will become swollen, tender, hard, and uncomfortably full. This is called engorgement - and when it comes to finding out how long it will last, you tend to come across a lot of "maybe"s and "should"s. A good way to help ease the pain [yep. MORE FRIGGIN PAIN.] is to refrigerate a couple of cabbage leaves and stick them in your bra. Allowing your Baby to breastfeed regularly and/or pump the milk out can also help - if you're opting for breastfeeding.
To tie in with the previously mentioned Uterine Shrinkage, Breastfeeding can bring on them cramps or make them more intense. This is caused by the oxytocin that is released by Baby's sucking. The release of this hormone causes contractions. The only upside there is to it is that the crampy contractions help reduce postpartum blood loss... which means it is your body's way of preventing you from bleeding excessively.
Weight loss
You will lose quite a bit of weight immediately after giving birth! Let's do the math...
Let us say that Baby is of average weight.... so 3 - 3.7kg [7 to 8 pounds-ish]
Placenta would approximately weight another... 0.5 - 1kg [1 - 2 pounds]
Blood and amniotic fluid would be about another.... 1 kg? [2 pounds]
That brings us to the grand total of 4.5 - 5.7kg [10 - 12 pounds]
To me, that means more than half the weight I have gained so far. Sweet!
It doesn't stop there either! All the extra water that your cells retained during pregnancy, along with fluid from the extra blood you had in your pregnant body, will want to ooze its way out. This means that you'll be peeing more often - if that is even possible - in the days following birth — almost 3 litres of piss a day!!
You might sweat a lot as well. This means that by the end of the first week, you'll lose close to another 2 kilos [4 pounds] of water weight. The amount varies of course depending on how much water retention occurred throughout your pregnancy.
Ladybits!
As to be expected, things down below will be a bit..... eh, how should I put this? It won't be nice, to put it in simple non-graphic terms..
If you go for a vaginal birth, it will cause your vag to remain a little larger than usual. Straight after birthing, it will remain stretched open and may be swollen or bruised. Ouch! It will take a few days for any swelling you may have to start going down... Slowly slowly, your ladybits will start to regain their muscle tone, and within a few weeks, it will mean that your vag will gradually get smaller. Doing Kegel exercises regularly helps restore muscle tone.
*cue mental images of a Body Builder Vag.*
Sorry about that!
If you were unlucky enough to have to have an episiotomy or a tear, your perineum needs time to heal. This means you'll have to wait for the thumbs up to be given by your doctor during your Postnatal Check-up before you can get jiggy with it. Even once you get the go-ahead, you might still be tender and sore, so it is best to wait until you're ready.
On a side note, it seems like Will Smith's dance moves are more effective than I was aware or.... having the tune play in another tab is still making me pause from typing to dance whenever the chorus kicks in. Sad, I know. It is fun though! I dare you try and resist the urge to do the same!!
So yeah - Use the forced break to figure out what contraception you'd like to go for. I'm told by a good friend of mine that in spite of being happy to have gotten pregnant with her 3rd child only 4 months after giving birth, she's sick and tired of being pregnant - 2 years of more or less constant pregnancy takes its toll!
Once it is time to get your freak on again, take it easy. Things might be somewhat different now. You may find that you are lacking a bit in the vaginal lubrication department in comparison to what it would have been like throughout your pregnancy. This is due to lower levels of oestrogen. Breastfeeding will only make it worse as it tends to keep oestrogen levels down. Invest in a good water-based lubricant. water-based lubricant, particularly Oil-based lubricants can lead to condoms to break or diaphragms to get ruined as they tend to weaken latex.
Taking the piss are we?
Alas, nope! Guess what? Even peeing will be a challenge!
It might come to pass that you won't be able to feel the need to pee for the first few days - especially if you've had a prolonged labour, or a forceps or vacuum-assisted vaginal delivery, - or more commonly, an epidural. All of these scenarios cause your bladder to temporarily become less sensitive.
Recall the constant peeing I mentioned earlier in relation to weight loss? Remind yourself to try and pee whenever you can as you will most likely need to, even though you don't feel the urge. If you don't, you'll end up pissing your pants. Sad, but true.
Besides from wetting yourself, you're likely to face other issues. For example - your bladder might over-distend itself and therefore lead to urinary problems, besides from making it harder for your uterus to contract, leading to more afterpains and bleeding.
If you can't pee within a few hours after giving birth, a catheter will be put in your bladder to drain the urine. (If you deliver by c-section, you'll have a urinary catheter for the surgery and the following 12 hours or so.)
It must be a tough life being a nurse... you get to deal with peeing issues woman might face after giving birth too!
Tell your nurse about any difficulties you may be facing when it comes to peeing - be it an actual difficulty to pee, or merely producing just a tiny amount of pee every time you have to tinkle. If your bladder gets too full, it can actually prevent you from being able to urinate.
Moody McMoody is still in town!
Thing is, once you give birth, your hormones need time to get back to pre-pregnancy mode. This means mood swings will still be around - very much like that irritating house guest who just does not know when it is time to sod off!
Besides from hormonal issues, you'll also be dealing with discomfort you may still be experiencing from labour and birth, sleep deprivation and the other demands of caring for a new baby, as well as the emotional adjustment to motherhood. It is extremely common to feel somewhat down in the dumps, or even overwhelmed. Just make sure to keep an eye on it. If the moodiness lasts longer than a couple of weeks, speak to your doctor as there may be more to it.
Hair loss
Some women experience a spurt of hair growth during pregnancy, only to find it falls out in handfuls once they give birth for the first few months. It's ok though - you won't go bald.
What may have seemed like a hair growth spurt is in fact a delay in hair loss caused by high oestrogen levels. Once the oestrogen levels drop once more, so will your hair.
By your child's first birthday, your hair should return back to its old self.
On the up side, if you became excessively hairy throughout the pregnancy [think hairy nipples, pronounced pleasure trail on your belly, gorilla legs etc] - you'll go back to your old self within 3 - 6 months.
What about the Skin?
Hormonal changes can cause, or get rid of acne. Some pregnant women get all pimply throughout their pregnancy whilst others get that 'glow' everyone keeps going on and on about. The tables might turn once you give birth. Everything will return back to normal in due course though.
If you have chloasma (darkened patches of skin on your lips, nose, cheeks, or forehead), it'll begin to fade in the months after giving birth and probably go away completely, as long as you protect your skin from the sun.
To conclude - you're probably going to encounter the most dreaded post-pregnancy side effects of them all.
Stretchmarks.
Unfortunately there is no way to know how badly you'll be affected by said stretchmarks. There are numerous claims for miracle cures out there. Different people swear by different remedies. To me, your best bet is to eat healthily and drink plenty of water. This will keep your skin hydrated and less likely to encounter really bad stretchmarks. If you're the kind of person who bothers with these things, perhaps massaging the afflicted area whilst using some sort of unscented cream - maybe containing Aloe Vera or Shea Butter - or even just making your own Avocado Pulp may help.
I'm sure there will be more changes you will face that I can't think of right now. I'll keep you updated as to what happens once I'm in that particular situation!
Time is weird. It speeds up when you want it to slow down, and slows down when you want it to hurry the fuck up. Also, altitude affects the actual speed of time - the higher up you are, the quicker time goes by. Yes, this means your head grows older quicker than your feet do. It is all part of Einstein's Theory of Relativity. This article explains it in terms mere mortals can grasp.
In approximately four weeks Creature will be born. For some reason, every time I think about it, I start hearing the song found below playing in my head:
40 weeks seems like an eternity when it comes to pregnancy. I have come close to losing my patience with the whole process quite a few times... However now that the finishing line is looming ahead of me, it evokes a sense of foreboding, in a way. A lot of doubts and question marks start popping up. As I try not to panic, and accept the fact that I'll have to face it, no matter what, I try to look up facts that make me feel glad that my situation is as it is.
For starters, as much as I wish I were a Female Seahorse, it could have been much worse. I could have been a Female Elephant.
OK, stop staring at me perplexed. I'll explain my reason
Different mammals have different Gestational Periods. Clicky here for a short list.
In this day and age, the line between female and male clothing has grown hazier than ever. Back in the day, there were strict rules one had to adhere to, or else there would be consequences to pay.
A few months ago, I was on a QI marathon, and amidst insane amounts of laughter, I learnt a couple of things that piqued my curiosity. I just had to find out for myself whether these were true facts or not.
Series G Episode 7 - Girls & Boys
For about two hundred years after it arrived in the language in the thirteenth century girl was indeed a general term for any young person. If a writer wanted to make clear the sex of the person, he had to add a qualifier: knave girl for a boy, and gay girl for a young woman. But by the sixteenth century the word had shifted to our modern sense.
Which reminds me - all foetuses are 'females' prior to the male genitalia developing. OK, any males reading this right now, don't worry - I'm not trying to undermine your virility. Not much, anyway. But yes, it is scientifically correct.
On the subject of boys' vs girls' stereotypes, up until the 1940s, the colour for baby boys was pink, and the colour for baby girls was blue. It seems like it was thought that Pink is a toned-down version of Red which is considered to be a strong, masculine colour, whereas Blue was thought to be a milder version of Purple which is a more gentle, feminine colour. You can clicky here, here and here for more details.
Such a pretty... err... boy.
Yes. The above photo is that of a boy called Franklin Roosevelt. No, it wasn't a case of his mother trying to "turn him gay" or anything. It was actually standard procedure to dress boys up to the age of 6 or 7 years of age in a sort of dress. They also didn't get their first haircut until that age was reached.
This means that boys born around 1884 spent the first 6 or 7 years of their lives possibly being dressed up in pink dresses. Thank your lucky stars you weren't.
