When the going gets tough

Lately it has been very difficult to keep up with life.  There have been a string of incidents where the phrases "everything you touch turns to shit" and "everything blows up in your face" can start conveying how stressful it has been.

It all started when Morgan was admitted to hospital with the UTI.  This was on the 17th of August.  Since then, we haven't had a break from negative events.  Two days after being sent home, we ended up taking her back to hospital and were told she had bronchitis.

Then, the moment she started recovering, we had a bike accident and I ended up unable to walk due to a severely sprained foot caused by the bike falling over it when we skidded - and this lasted about a week.  The moment I started hobbling and limping around, my elder sister's dog bit HSS, putting his hand out of action for about a week.

Just when we thought things were finally settling down, this week happened.

As a follow-up to the UTI Morgan had encountered, she had to undergo two medical tests - the first of which was on Tuesday 2nd October 2012.

HSS and I took her to hospital for the micturating cystourethrogram [MCUG].

"The what?" you might ask.

"The MCUG is a technique for watching a person's urethra and urinary bladder while the person urinates (voids). The technique consists of catheterising the person in order to fill the bladder with a radiocontrast agent, typically cystografin. Under fluoroscopy (real time x-rays) the radiologist watches the contrast enter the bladder and looks at the anatomy of the patient. If the contrast moves into the ureters and back into the kidneys, the radiologist makes the diagnosis of vesicoureteral reflux, and gives the degree of severity a score. The exam ends when the person voids while the radiologist is watching under fluoroscopy. Consumption of fluid promotes excretion of contrast media after the procedure. It is important to watch the contrast during voiding, because this is when the bladder has the most pressure, and it is most likely this is when reflux will occur.

Vesicoureteral reflux (kidney reflux) is diagnosed with an ultrasound and VCUG. Children who have recurrent urinary tract infections are given this test to determine the risk of subsequent infections causing potentially damaging kidney infections."

- derived from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voiding_cystourethrogram

Just out of hospital - Wednesday 3rd October 2012

On Wednesday, HSS and I took Morgan back to hospital for a check-up with her paediatrician.  Turns out, the results form the previous day's test were out... and therefore bad news was delivered to us.


Morgan has Vesicoureteral reflux on her left side, and since urine is re-entering her left kidney, it is causing her these UTIs.  I lost count of how many times the doctor used the word "unfortunately".


So yeah - we have an appointment with the paediatric surgeon on the 24th of October.




Both HSS and myself were quite shaken by this news, and needed to get away from everyday life for a short while.

We took Morgan to Buskett for the first time ever.

First family outing @ Buskett - 3rd Oct 2012

Being in the midst of nature tends to have a calming effect on me.  I don't know if you have ever sat in the shade of a tree, and after chilling there for a while, you walked away refreshed.  I know I have.  Being away from the daily bustle and rush of modern day life was a welcome break - where no one disturbs you, and you're given a moment to take a deep breath and just... be.


Being there, with HSS and Morgan, felt good.  It was a much needed break.  I enjoyed watching Morgan be amazed at the rustling leaves, at the changing light, and the different smells and natural sounds around us.  


We found a spot hidden from the world, where the ground was covered in grass [not the kind that gets you high, mind you], and where there was quite a bit of shade for us to enjoy. 

This led to Morgan's first True Free-range Potato Experience.  Free-range Potato is what I like to call her exposed bum.  Seeing as this nappy change was carried out in the middle of Buskett, it couldn't get any more Free-range than that, could it?

 Silliness ensued - 03Oct2012

At one point, we got Morgan out of her pushchair and  set her down on the grass, sitting up.  I was seated out of arm's reach from her, and asked her to give me her hands.

She leaned forward, and put her hands in mine - 03Oct2012

This, is what happened next:

She's awesome.

We took a bunch of photos whilst we were there, but these are my favourites:

Little Monster Attack! 03Oct2012

Love - 03Oct2012

:) - 03Oct2012

On Friday 5th October we were meant to take Morgan back to hospital for another test - this time it would have been a Nuclear Medicine DMSA Renal Scan.  A DMSA renal scan is a diagnostic imaging exam that evaluates the function, size, shape and position of the kidneys and detects scarring caused by frequent infections.  Technetium-99m DSMA (dimercapto succinic acid) is a radioisotope that is injected into the patient's veins through an IV prior to the scan. It goes directly to the kidneys.  A special camera, called a gamma camera, is used to take pictures of the kidneys and show how the kidneys are working.

This was not to be.

On Wednesday night, Morgan got high fever, so first thing in the morning, we went back to the hospital - this time to the A&E Room.  The Paediatrician on duty happened to be one of the doctor's following Morgan's case, so there was no need to explain the whole story.  A urine sample was collected, and 3 hours later I got a phone call to tell me that Morgan has another UTI.  Meaning, the DMSA scan needed to be postponed by another 6-8 weeks to allow the infection to be over and done with.

Fast forward to today - Today was the first day where fever was very low.  Hopefully by tomorrow it'll be gone.

I'm worried about what might happen next.  We were told that if Morgan doesn't undergo the operation,  she will be prone to UTIs all her life, and could end up with Kidney Failure of her left kidney.  I'm anxiously waiting for the Paediatric Surgeon's appointment, to find out exactly what is going to happen.

My greatest fear is seeing Morgan go into the operating theatre, and not seeing her come back out.

I'm thankful I've got HSS by my side to fight this battle with me - he's incredible.  In fact, this, is for him. 

To finish off on a positive note, Morgan's front bottom teeth have broken through.  I haven't managed to take a picture of them as yet, but as soon as I manage to, I'll be sure to post it. Damn, they're sharp!!!

You drive me crazy

Yesterday was one of those days where time seems to speed up and no matter what you do, you're always losing the race against it.

I had an odd dream, where I was with someone and we got on a bus that took us to Denmark in less than half an hour and it only cost us 40c. As if a bus could do that.. Ah well, one can dream.

Earlier in the afternoon, my mum and I took Morgan for a stroll, involving coffeetimes. I bought her a teal cardigan, a dark blue sleeveless top/dress and teal jeans. Yay for heavily reduced prices! She wore her Winnie The Pooh hoodie for the first time today, and it fit her like a glove! 'Twas a gift from her Paternal Granny. Oh, and I also got her this cute red pinafore dress and purple long-sleeved top with a Monster face print on the front.

My precioussssss :D

I went over to my place to check the mail and tidy up a bit in preparation for our return whilst my mum looked after Morgan for me. I saw a woman drive by with a girl who was no older than 7 years, sitting in the FRONT seat, eating a yoghurt WITH A FRIGGIN METAL SPOON.

This, to me, brought mental images of horrible consequences should they be involved in a car crash.
Why is it that so many Maltese people insist on being irresponsible when it comes to assuring their children's /grandchildren's/ nieces'/ nephew's safety where cars are involved? I'm not sure if by Maltese law, booster seats are mandatory - if they're not, THEY SHOULD BE. It IS a life or death issue! Is it so bloody hard for these people to realise this?!

*/rant over*

Morgan has a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning for a check-up. I'm anxious about it. She's perfectly fine to me, but you never know what doctors might say. At least I know that the doc in question is a bloody good one. He was _my_ paediatrician when I was young, and I probably owe him my life way more times than anyone cares to remember.

I will return to posting more regularly and more interestingly shortly - promise! I just need to move back home first.

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

Morgan had her first doctor's home visit today. I called the pharmacy earlier to ask if their Paediatrician-in-training was in, and was told he'd be in on Monday, but that he does home visits, and got given his mobile number.

I asked my mum to call on my behalf whilst I cuddled Morgan, and he asked her to text him the address and he'd come visit Morgan this morning. I texted him soon after, and he replied saying he'd be over shortly.
An hour and a half or so went by, and the Doc arrived. A friend of mine had told me he is the Pretty kind, and she was right. He was very thorough in his examination, and very soft spoken and had a gentle touch when examining Morgan. She seemed to like him as he is the first doctor to examine her where she didn't cry.

At one point, he said to hold Morgan in my lap, and hold both her hands with one of mine, and to place my other hand on her forehead to hold her head still. This would enable him to examine her ears and throat. I did as he said, only to realise that I should have worn a poloneck shirt instead of the one I had on. This realisation dawned on me only when he was bent over, and had my cleavage at eye-level. I could have died on the spot from embarrassment and kept hoping he'd be solely focused on Morgan.

He played a bit with Morgan as he told me what to keep an eye out for. Basically at the moment she's got a virus which is causing a congestion, which I can flush out via the saline nasal spray. He said to spray twice per nostril every hour, and to reduce her bottle's volume and increase feeding frequency until she gets better. He prescribed suppositories just in case she gets a fever, and also wrote a referral note, just in case the viral thingy gets to her chest and makes her wheeze, to take her to hospital.

I have a feeling I've found The Doc for Morgan.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from GO Mobile

Pink, it was love at first sight!

Last night was an insomniac one for me where I decided I would start making my grandma's house more toddler-friendly as of now. Whilst tidying up I found Pimp Sunglasses. *points at picture*

Morgan and I will be playing dress-up A LOT when she's older, I'm sure. As much as I hate to admit it, she pulls off pink perfectly. I hate pink. She has received a fair amount of clothes in different shades of the colour. I don't blame people for giving pink crap though - it is rather hard to find neutral coloured clothing!
I _will_ be taking her to a paediatrician today as her stuffy nose got worse last night, in spite of my cleaning her nose several times.

Today is also one of them days which make you regret being cooped up inside, so I might take her out for a walk too.

That is all for this morning! Over and out!

You'll survive - You will be well, because you - you are so special and I will take care of you.

Quite a few blog posts ago, I had mentioned the importance of finding a good paediatrician and how to locate one in your area.

What I had failed to realise is how difficult it is to go visit one whose clinic is just a bus ride away, whilst still recovering from a C-Section. Them car seats are bloody heavy - and with a rapidly growing baby acting as dead weight in it, it becomes even heavier.

This can only mean one thing - I am back to square one, in trying to find a paediatrician closer to home. I spent an hour or so making phone calls with no luck.

One pharmacy said that the paediatrician was in two days ago, but that they have no idea when she will be in next. Apparently, she decides, not the pharmacy owners. I find that odd, but then again, these things seem to follow a logic of their own.

I eventually got through to a clinic which had a rather helpful person take my phone call. She said they didn't have a paediatrician but that she could give me the telephone number of a pharmacy nearby who _did_ have a paediatrician available. The woman also suggested calling the hospital and ask them to have a look at their records as they should be able to help me out.

I decided to call the hospital first, and the receptionist who took my call was a bit at a loss, however I could tell he was trying to be as helpful as he possibly could. I obtained 3 telephone numbers from him, thanked him and hung up. Not having managed to get through, I decided, "Fuck it," and called the pharmacy that the receptionist at the other clinic had given me.

BINGO! This pharmacy has a paediatric surgeon who is in every Thursday, AND a Paediatrician-in-training who is in 2-3 times a week. Cool stuff! Admittedly it is a bit of a long walk from my house, but it is doable, and very close to my parents' house and my grandma's as well.

I didn't set up an appointment though. Morgan didn't have any other explosive diarrhoea episodes. Her nose is still stuffy, but when I cleaned it with the bulb syringe this morning, it made a huge difference.

Today we should be getting a visit by the midwife, so I'll mention to her my concerns and then take it from there.

I don't want to be one of those over-protective mums who wrap their child[ren] in bubble wrap. I enjoy popping the bubble wrap way too much!

Seriously though - it takes a conscious effort to find that delicate balance between not caring enough and caring too much. If I could, I _would_ protect Morgan from every single thing that could cause her harm in any shape or manner. Then again, I know she needs to get a cold, scrape her knees, bruise her legs, stand up for herself and what/who she values the most etc. I did all that, and am glad for it. I want her to learn how to fight her own battles whilst knowing I'm there for her to back her up whenever necessary.

Until then, I'll happily be the annoying mother who continuously takes photos of her child - even whilst she's sleeping! [See photo] I really don't want to miss a single moment whilst I still can spend _this much time_ with her.

P.s. Just in case you were wondering, the telephone number for Mater Dei Hospital is 25450000, and the pharmacy that is close by is Sta Lucia Pharmacy, located in Sta Lucia. Their telephone number is 21890111, and the Paediatric Surgeon's name is Dr Chris Fearne, whilst the Paediatrician-in-training's name is Dr Bondin.