Showing posts with label poop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poop. Show all posts

Thursday, 22 March 2012

It's Mister Stabby!

This entry is being typed real-time.

Today is the day - I will be wanting to hurt someone badly soon. Well, after this HUGE queue of people before me are done.

We're at the clinic, waiting for our turn. For some reason, Morgan needs to go through a check-up before receiving her first shot - in spite of having a doctor's note confirming she's peachy and ready to start the immunisation process.

There are babies screaming and crying all over the place - and yet again, Morgan is just laying in her pram quietly.

Our appointment was at 9:30am - it already is 10:20am and we're still waiting for the check-up to happen.
 
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Passed out in my arms as I type
Ok, it is now 12:52pm and Morgan and I are curled up in bed at my Grandma's house.

Shortly after my grumblings about us being made to wait for _that_ long, we were summoned. Morgan was asleep, so when I lifted her out of the pram and put her on the clinic's couch, it was rather easy to measure her height.

She is now 56cm tall! That's an extra 4cm(approx) within a week. Yay! Morgan's head somehow measured slightly smaller than last week - go figure! Her head's circumference is now 38.2 and she weighs 4.45kg. She did gain weight, but apparently it isn't enough so I was told to feed her more - by adding an extra scoop of formula to it. *shrug* Different medical people say different things. We'll see how it goes.
 
Once the check-up was complete, I was bombarded with info that the staff at the clinic must be sick and tired of repeating to every person who walks in with a child. I don't remember half of it - it was mainly to do with weaning. Eh. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
 
Whilst I was dressing Morgan post-check-up, I was talking to her and she was smiling and gurgling in happiness at me. Yay! I love her mini-chuckles and toothless grins.
 
Then, it was time to face the music. I took her into another room and was told to put her on the couch. This nurse told me that the injection was an immunisation against Tetanus, Diphtheria, Polio, Pertussis and Haemophilus Type B (HIB).

*****************************************************************

It is now 19:17pm.

To continue the story...

A few seconds later, Morgan's thigh was exposed and this HUGEASS needle was stuck in her right thigh. Time seemed to slow down as I watched it going in. Morgan's eyebrows furrowed, she went bright red and started howling in pain. Her eyes filled up with tears, and I wanted to punch the living crap out of the nurse. Like SERIOUSLY hurt her. Morgan seemed to be saying "Why are you hurting me? Why are you letting her hurt me? I've done nothing wrong, stop hurting me!"

As soon as the needle was out, I picked Morgan up and held her close to me, all whilst apologising to her and trying my best to reassure her.

I hurried out as fast as I could as it was getting late and was nearly time for her to be fed.

I stopped by at the pharmacy to get her a box of suppositories (just in case she gets feverish) as I had forgotten the one I have already at home. Also got her a bottle of surgical spirit so that I could clean her tiny wound with it.

We arrived at my Grandma's at 11:20am. I had already cleaned Morgan up at the clinic and didn't need a nappy change yet. I just warmed up her bottle and fed her - and she crashed not long after. I joined her for a small nap, and once up, we made our way home. My mum came home with us so that she could give me a hand with a few chores.

As soon as my mum left, I noticed Morgan needed to be cleaned up - Uber Pooper struck again. I gave her a bath, and she is now in my arms fast asleep.

See? :D

No signs of fever as of yet - fingers crossed no fever will show up!

Friday, 9 March 2012

Can't buy me love

I hate shopping.

Except for books.

That, has always been my stance. Things seem to be changing though! Now that Morgan is in my life, I can't seem to stop buying her stuff.

The day before yesterday I got her a Baby Activity Mat. The day before that, I bought her 3 toys. And a few days ago I bought her the Baby Rocker. And, I've been buying her stuff for her room. That will take me a while to complete, as I also will need to figure out how to go on about painting the room and creating the mural. I will also need to discuss my rental contract first as I'm not about to paint the room and move out of the house a month or three later!

As I had mentioned in a previous blog, I'm going for an enchanted forest kinda theme with fae folk and other awesome creatures. This is what I've got so far:
Flower fairy miniature drawers
Wrapping paper to be used for toy boxes
Blackboard
Mirror Sticker #1
Mirror Sticker #2
Mirror Sticker #3
Hanging thingy #1
Hanging thingy #2 and #3

Hanging thingy #4
Pirate and Fairy felt thingies.
 
Ok, ok. Fine. I admit it. I bought her more stuff yesterday as well. Namely a grey and a red pair of trousers, a purple woollen short-sleeved shirt and a purple top which says "I love rain". Oh, and sterilising tablets and a formula milk dispenser thingy for the days when we are out and about.
Unfortunately the visit from her Paternal Granny will have to wait due to the funeral happening this weekend. Hopefully it won't be long before it gets rescheduled!

Yesterday evening, I cleaned all her toys, and Morgan got to use the Activity Mat for the first time. According to a certain someone *coughpaulcough* the Activity Mat 5000 is guaranteed to reducing poop by 23%. Alas, that proved to be a false claim, and if that same someone doesn't believe me, I will gladly send him the evidence in the mail :D

Morgan wasn't interested in playing at first, as can be seen clearly in the pic. What can I say? She's my daughter after all!

She then seemed to change her mind when I wasn't looking, as can be seen in these videos:

All that playing seemed to have affected her appetite as she later on downed a whopping 200ml of milk! This meant that it was time to upgrade to bigger bottles, which we did today. Now I'm off to clean and feed her.

Toodles!

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Hercules & The Mountain of Poop

Motherhood - how I went from this to this.

True story.

I was having a sandwich in the kitchen whilst watching the Godliness that is Kevin Sorbo - possibly the only "buff" male I find appealing - kicking Tia Carrere's pretty arse in Kull The Conqueror - and just when he's about to deliver the final blow, I get summoned back to the bedroom.

Morgan was up, needing a nappy change and to be fed.

*Fanfare* Supermum to the rescue!

Morgan had in store for me one hell of a shitty experience! I know, pretty graphical. But.. *points to blog's name* 'Nuff said.

Anyway. I had noticed her poop to be more liquid a few nappy changes ago, and kept a mental note to see if it happens again. Which it did. Now I'm looking forward to sunrise so that I can get in touch with a paediatrician and take her for a check-up. She has had a stuffy nose as well - which by itself isn't a cause for concern. Stuffy nose + explosive diarrhoea = a potential cause for concern.

Hopefully it isn't anything, and simply her body adjusting to the outside world.

We are now in the process of trying to extend the gaps between one feed and the next. We're averaging 4 and a half hours' gap now. Yay for more sleep!

We also received the stuff I ordered for her from Amazon using the gift voucher my aunt gave Morgan. We now have a fair bit more nappies for Morgan to turn into poopy masterpieces! The 3 Lamaze toys I ordered for her seem awesome - we'll see if she grows to like them! Just in case you're wondering which ones she now owns, here they are:
1) Sir Prance-a-lot: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/518SsOiJezL._SL500_AA300_.jpg
2) Freddie The Firefly: http://www.nestingmode.com/uploads/product/12175374560.jpg
3) Gardenbug Foot Finder & Wrist Rattle Set: http://images.learningcurve.com/is/image/media/LC27111A_SH_A01?$detail$
Now that she's asleep again, I just might _try_ and have some "me" time again. In the meanwhile, enjoy this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_WGPgIOXXQ

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from GO Mobile

Saturday, 18 February 2012

The Poop Crisis

Sometimes I feel my brains turning into a mix of jelly, poop, formula milk and baby drool. There are times throughout the day when I miss adult conversation, and the company of a peer where non-baby-related topics can be discussed.

Inevitably I will end up talking about baby stuff at some point. Try as hard as I may, I can't help it. I just miss my old self.

I just had quite a stressful nappy change & bottle experience. I didn't get much sleep last night (3 hours which felt like 5 minutes). I had every intention of taking Morgan out for her first stroll, however after feeding her this morning we both fell asleep. I managed to grab an hour or so of shut-eye. It was then time to wake up for her next nappy change and feed.

I switched on the bottle warmer and went to change Morgan's nappy. All was well so far. Nappy got changed easily, and so I then put her back in bed for a few moments whilst I go get her bottle. I then realised I had forgotten to put her tights back on, so before feeding her, I put her back on the Nappy Changing Table with every intention of just undoing her sleepsuit's bottom half and putting on the tights. Quite an easy job. Alas, it was not to be.

I realised she had pooped her freshly changed nappy already. Crap.

Sorry. Couldn't help the pun.

Anyway.

Off came every layer covering her bottom half. Which is when Morgan decided to start wriggling all over the place as I tried to clean her up. Frustration levels rising, I tried to deal with it whilst hearing criticism coming from my grandma's end. Knowing she means well, I refrained from commenting at first. That didn't last, which is how I became snappy.

Morgan's wriggling meant her socks got dirtied and had to be changed. With that out of the way, I finally managed to get her dressed, and started the feed. Whilst feeding her, I realised we're nearly out of nappies so I contacted my bro asking him to ask my mum to get some on the way back home. Hopefully she'll remember, otherwise I'll be screwed.

Once the feed was over, I was faced with trying to put on a cardigan on Morgan as her sleepsuit's sleeves kept acting like short sleeves and I figured she'd end up feeling too cold cos of that. Obviously that didn't go smoothly either as I couldn't get her 2nd arm in the bloody sleeve. By this time, patience was running thin.
A short struggle was had, and eventually the damned sleeve was conquered. Which is when Morgan grabbed my finger and looked at me calmly. That is precisely when I had a mini-breakdown and apologised to her for getting impatient.

I now am laying next to her in bed - on my stomach, nonetheless! First time I've been in this position since May! Morgan is half asleep, and so am I - but I can't sleep yet. There are bottles to be sterilised and prepared, and I have to cook. Blah.

This is me venting, by the way.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from GO Mobile

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Cut my life into pieces - This is my last resort

As those of you who follow the blog know, Morgan was born via C-Section. It wasn't planned that way - I actually had every intention of attempting natural birth - free of painkillers, even! Alas it was not meant to be.
I covered the details of the operation itself in a previous entry. What I wished to emphasise today is that a C-Section is not something to be taken lightly. A lot of people seem to think of it as a quick fix, or an easy way out. The truth is - a C-Section is MAJOR surgery. One with side-effects that can last until the day you die.

The side-effects I speak of are namely scar tissue, and nerve damage. It has been just over a week since I've been sliced and diced, and my incision feels numb. The numbness starts from just above my belly button, and extends halfway down to my pubic mound. It makes for a very peculiar sensation - almost as if you're wearing something that is too tight which is blocking your circulation. From what I read, the numbness lasts anywhere between a few months, and the day you die. When you're cut open, nerves are cut through too. This causes damages to them that can be beyond repair.

Although from the outside, the scar itself is looking neat, I can feel scar tissue building up on the inside, and this makes it more uncomfortable for me.

I have complained about the lack of independence you have to deal with when you're pregnant in another post, however C-Section recovery is even worse. How? Well.. I have been instructed not to carry anything heavier than Morgan. For about 6 weeks post-operation. She weighs just over 3kg. This means that strictly speaking I should not be carrying a couple of 2 litre water bottles - a restriction I find both ridiculous and extremely irking. I also am to avoid going up and down stairs. Good thing I live on ground floor.

Getting sewn up takes longer than having your baby cut out of your womb does. This means that whereas those who give birth naturally can potentially spend time with their newborn straight away, with a C-Section, you can't. Baby is taken away from you to be seen by the paediatrician and weighed and cleaned up and dressed. This, whilst they sew you up.

Then there is the fact that your guts are handled. Following the operation, there may be numerous issues related to your bowels. The chances of bowel injuries put aside, some women find it painful to poop, suffer constipation, or diarrhoea. This may be temporary, but it might also be long-term.

This link highlights in more detail what the risks are, and gives you links on how to prepare yourself for a C-Section and what not.

If you attend Prenatal Classes, make sure you attend both the sessions about Natural Birth, as well as the C-section. You never know what might happen - my case is a typical example.

Also, inform yourself before going for an Elective C-Section. The pain of natural childbirth might be more desirable to you once you get all your facts and figures.

Regardless of what birthing method you go for, ensure you have plenty of support available to you for the weeks following the birth. You will need every tiny bit of help thrown your way. Do your best not to over-exert yourself or you might suffer its repercussions in the long run.

Now, onto the personal updates which I'm sure a good number of you are wanting. Morgan is enjoying using me as her furniture (see photo) still, and I love it. Having her sleep on top of me is comforting for both. After spending 9 months sharing my body, being in such close proximity decreases any separation anxiety ewe might go through otherwise. She saved a Mega Nappy for my sis today - uber-poopy AND pissy, only to pee on my sister's finger whilst cleaning her up. I found it hilarious!

 Mama' mattress!

She also got given yet another load of pink clothes. Cute warm clothes which I will have to come up with clever combos to balance out the pink overdose. I blame the shops, not the people. Damn shops stock up on too much pink, blue and white, and little else.

Off to snooze with my little Fairy now!

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

It is somewhat of a hairy situation!

As a big fan of beards and facial hair in general - as already expressed in a previous blog - there have been several jokes made about the possibilities of Creature being bearded at birth - especially if it turns out that Creature is indeed a boy!

Hairy babies aren't that uncommon.  Now, when I say 'hairy' I am not just referring to the hair that grows on top of their heads.


If Creature turns out to be as hairy as the above-portrayed kidlets, I will probably be giggling to myself for a good few days!  Oh the fun one can have with their spawn's hair!!

Anyway. Back on topic.

All foetuses go through a hairy stage whilst still in utero.  They are covered with a coat of fine hair called Lanugo which can make its first appearance as early as on your 14th week of pregnancy.  This is thought to be a remnant from our primate ancestors as really and truly there is no need for our very own humane fur coat whilst still snug inside our mothers' womb.  On average, the temperature in there is about 37°C [a.k.a. 98.6°F].

If a baby is born prematurely, or even slightly early, they usually are covered in Lanugo.  Some full-term babies still have some Lanugo present and it usually is shed after a few weeks from birth.

Lanugo on Baby's shoulder.

Lanugo on Baby's face

Though I know that Creature is highly unlikely to be born with a full beard, it is still fun to imagine 
 what that would be like.  The Lanugo will be covering Baby’s whole body except for his/her palms, the sole of his/her feet, his/her lips, penis, nails and sides of his/her fingers and toes.


Fun fact: A newborn boy has as much testosterone as a 25 year old man.  The levels drop drastically, and then start rising again once the boy hits puberty.  This means that some babies are born with more testosterone than their own fathers!

"So where does the Lanugo go when it is shed in utero?" you'll be asking.  Good question! Apparently, the Lanugo is somehow absorbed by Baby and sits in his/her bowels, ready to be pooped once Baby is evicted out of his/her mother's womb.  It is used to make up the Newborn Baby Poop called Meconium, along with other special ingredients such as cells, mucus, bile and amniotic fluid.  I will spare you the details of what it looks like and whatnot.  IF you'd like the details, they have been covered in this previous blog.

Monday, 2 January 2012

Rub-a-dub-dub!

Looking after a tiny human being that grows at a astonishingly rapid rate can be a daunting task.  There is so much work behind it - stuff that we tend to take for granted and tasks that are second nature to us as grown humans, that sometimes looking at all the tiny details in the form of a list can make even the bravest of us go weak in the knees.

In a previous blog about cleaning, I have briefly mentioned that babies don't need daily baths unless they've had a nappy explosion, and that until their umbilical cord stump falls off, it is best to give them a sponge bath.  Well - that isn't all there is to keeping your baby clean and healthy.  Here is where we'll be going through the nitty gritty details.




Looking at the above picture, one starts  to realise how much there is to look after separately in a human body.  I will try to break it down piece by piece in as concise yet detailed manner as I possibly can.  [*insert bad dismemberment joke here*]


The Head

This is probably the most complex area to take proper care of.  We'll go through it step by step.

Hair
Baby may or may not be born with hair.  Either way, Baby might have Cradle Cap.  Cradle Cap is a fungal infection which isn't pretty, but isn't dangerous either.  Really and truly, there is no real need to do anything about it, but if you'd like, there's a fairly straightforward process you can go through to treat it.
  • Gently massage Baby's scalp with your fingers or a soft brush to loosen the skin flakes.
  • Shampoo more frequently (up to once a day), but be sure to rinse out all the soap or shampoo. After shampooing, gently brush your baby's scalp with a soft brush or a terrycloth towel.
In cases of severe Cradle Cap, you can try rubbing in a small amount of a pure, natural oil – such as almond or olive oil – on Baby's scalp and allow it to sit for about 15 minutes. Gently comb out the flakes with a fine-tooth comb or brush them out with a soft brush.  Finish off by washing Baby's scalp with a gentle Baby Shampoo.  It is important to do so in order to get rid of any lingering traces of oil on Baby's head as they can clog the pores and cause the flakes to stick. You might wish to leave in the shampoo for a few minutes before rinsing, to help cut the oil.

Eyes
Blepharitis is caused by the same issues that lead to Cradle Cap.  Should this condition occur, Baby should be referred to a doc.  If Baby develops a red bump on his eyelid, it is likely to be a Sty which can be treated simply by soaking a washcloth in warm water and putting it on the affected eye for a few minutes.  If the Sty doesn't go away after a week or so, or it gets worse, refer to Doc.  If the Sty is only affecting one eye, do not use the same washcloth on both eyes lest you spread the infection.

This is just to mention two different medical conditions that might affect Baby's eyes.  As a generic rule of thumb, just make sure you wipe clean baby's eyes gently whenever bathing him/her to prevent from hygiene-related issues.

Ears
Keeping Baby's ears - as well as behind his/her ears - clean is important. Simply clean the outer part of your baby's ears with a washcloth moistened with warm water.

Never insert a cotton swab [a.k.a. q-tip a.k.a. cotton bud] or anything else into your baby's ear canal -  you could easily puncture the eardrum that way. Earwax [cerumem] is the ear canal's natural bodyguard, if you will, and there's usually no reason to try to get it out of your baby's ears.

Whenever you take Baby to the doctor's for a check-up, Doc will check Baby's ears for signs of infection.  If there is a buildup of earwax to the extent of not being able to see the eardrum, Doc will remove the wax. Otherwise, the wax will come out on its own eventually, and sticking a cotton swab in there is likely to push it in farther.  If you notice a difference in Baby's reactions to sounds, it may very well be temporary hearing loss caused by Earwax  build-up, in which case, refer to your paediatrician.

Nose
Strictly speaking, it isn't necessary to clear a stuffy nose - and Baby may not like it if you try.  However, it can be done by use of a Rubber Bulb Syringe.  Other than that, if Baby is snotty, wipe it gently away with a soft tissue paper.

Mouth, Teeth & Gums
Taking care of Baby's gums is extremely important even before the teething process commences as you might not notice it straight away, and therefore start the Oral Hygiene Regime later than recommended. This means Baby will be more likely to be exposed to cavities.

It's a good idea to get into the habit of wiping Baby's gums with gauze or a soft wet washcloth during bath time.  Toothpaste is not yet required. All you would need to do is to wrap the cloth or gauze around your index finger and rub it gently over his/her gums.

Usually, around 6 months of age, Baby's first teeth start emerging. Purchase a baby toothbrush with a small head and grip suitable for your hand.  Use a tiny

As soon as the bristles start to look worn or splayed, the toothbrush should be replaced.  Flossing should only be introduced when tooth surfaces touch so that you can't clean them with a toothbrush.

Some important tips:
  • If your child is healthy and still hasn't sprouted his/her first tooth by his/her first birthday, don't worry – some children don't start getting teeth until 15 to 18 months.
  • If your baby's dummy falls, don't use your mouth to attempt to 'clean it' as you'll end up introducing bacteria in your child's mouth which can cause tooth decay to occur prematurely.  Also, do not share cutlery with Baby for the same reasons.
  • Don't put Baby to bed with a bottle of milk/juice as this is well known to cause cavities.  Also, if Baby is no longer feeding, remove the bottle from them.


Hands & Feet
Babies fingernails and toenails grow at amazing paces.  This means, a regular manicure & pedicure is in order to avoid injury.  Fingernails need to be trimmed several times a week - toenails slightly less regularly.

Baby's mani&pedi should be a task left either for when Baby is snoozing, or right after a bath, when Baby's nails are at their softest.  Make sure you have enough light to see what you're doing - you don't want to cause accidental injury just because of inadequate lighting.  Ensure you use a pair of Baby scissors or clippers made especially for the purpose. Press the finger pad away from the nail to avoid nicking the skin, and keep a firm hold on your baby's hand as you clippety-clip.

Fingernails should be cut along the curve of the finger, whereas toenails should be cut straight across. Use a nail file to smooth out any rough edges. If you're patient enough, and Baby's nails aren't too long, you can actually just file them down rather than clipping them.  If you decide to give Baby a manicure while s/he's awake, get someone to help.  Babies are wriggly creatures, so some assistance may be required to limit the squirming and wriggling either by holding him/her down, or by providing some sort of distraction whilst holding his/her hands  and feet still for the clipping and filing.

Some parents bite their baby's nails into shape, but if you do, you run the risk of introducing germs from your mouth into any little cut your baby may have on his finger. You also won't be able to see what you're doing, and you'll find that your baby's finger is minute compared to your teeth! Still, some parents rely on this method.

Keep your mouth away from your child's fingernails/toenails as if they have some small cut you don't notice, you'll end up introducing bacteria in their system.  Also, Baby's digits are tiny. You really don't want to bite his/her fingers/toes!

Umbilical cord

It takes about 10 to 21 days for the umbilical stump to dry up and drop off,which will then leave a small wound that may take a few days to heal.  It must be kept clean and dry. Fold Baby's nappy below the stump if it doesn't have a  cut-out space for the cord so that it is exposed to the air and not to urine. If when the stump falls off, you notice a little blood on the nappy, don't panic -  it's normal. Avoid giving your baby tub baths until the stump falls off.


What are the signs of infection?

Consult your doctor if:
  • Your child develops a fever or appears unwell.
  • The navel and the surrounding area become swollen or red.
  • Pus appears at the base of the stump.
For more in depth info, you can clicky here.


Genitals
This is probably the trickiest of them all.

Genital hygiene should be treated very carefully since the very birth. Otherwise, strangury, different inflammations or problems in youth age can occur. In fact, there`s nothing difficult here, you just need to learn several simple rules.

  • Check Baby’s nappy often and see if it is pooped. If so, you should clean the genital area thoroughly with wet cloth and diluted soap.
  • Always wipe from front to back for baby girls and wipe under the genitals for boys. Also, take care to clean the buttocks and fat creases under the thighs of your child. Apply baby lotion in case of skin rashes. Maintaining regular hygiene is the key to care for your baby’s genital area. 
  • If your Baby girl has had a very dirty nappy and poo has got within her vaginal lips (labia), gently separate your baby girl's vaginal lips with clean fingers, and with the moist cotton wool, wipe the area from top to bottom, or front to back, down the middle.  Then, with two more fresh pieces of cotton wool, clean each side within her labia. Wiping from front to back will help to prevent bacteria transferring from your baby's bottom to her vagina or urethra, and causing an infection. When giving your baby a bath, again just use a flannel or sponge to swish water around the area, and wipe from front to back.
  • Baby boys can suffer from circumcised or uncircumcised genital problems that need your special attention. In case of circumcised genitals, keep the area clean. Bathe the area every day with warm water and use a gentle baby cleanser to clean it.  After the bath you could put some petroleum jelly on his penis to protect it from rubbing against his nappy.
  • In case of uncircumcised genitals, wash the area with warm water and baby wash. Do not use any cotton swabs, cotton balls, astringents, or other harsh detergents on your baby. Keep the tip of the penis clean. Avoid pulling the foreskin back while cleaning. Gently hold the foreskin against the tip of the penis and wash it.  While your son is a baby, his penis will "self-clean" to some extent. Don't try to pull back his foreskin to clean as you won’t be able slide it back.
    Your baby’s foreskin will be attached to the head of his penis. The foreskin will separate from his penis by the time he’s two. You don’t need to help it along and you’ll probably do more harm than good if you try. Forcing back the foreskin may cause it to tear, which can hurt your baby and leave scarring. It may also cause problems for your little boy later on.
  • It is never good to keep your babies on soiled nappies for longer periods. If your baby pees or poops at night, do take care to attend to it immediately. Properly clean and dry the area before putting on a new nappy. If you prefer, you can avoid making your baby wear nappies at night, however this will make fora very messy morning present. 
For more info, clicky here.

That pretty much brings us at an end of the dismembered bathing experience.  If you can, have someone experienced with you just to supervise when bathing Baby for the first few times.  You'll get the hang of it eventually - at least, I hope I will.

What a shitty situation!

"Oh shit."

Probably one of the most overused phrases in this day and age.


Gods know how many times it has been uttered so far throughout my lifetimes.  Come to think of it, there are quite a lot of fecal references in popular expressions - "Same Shit Different Day" "I feel like crap" "Shit happens" "Bullshit!" and so on and so forth.


Well, shit will be happening, I'm afraid.In copious amounts, and at the least convenient of times.  Such a labour, for example.

During a pre-natal class, the midwife was describing the various bits and pieces that will get attached to you, including a catheter.  There was mention of labour possibly taking hours - and in my head I couldn't help but wonder "So the catheter takes care of your needing to pee... but after spending hours pushing your guts out, who is to say you won't end up pooping the bed you're on?"  A disgusting thought, sure.  But a realistic one,  You can't really do anything other than push and push and then push it some more. A-la-la-la-la-long a-la-la-la-la-long long li long long long!  Err. Sorry about that. Momentarily got distracted!

Had to get this out of the way.

 Anyway.  Back to this crappy topic. 

I started doing some research about what can be done to minimise the chances of any 'accidents' happening during childbirth, and the first answers I came across weren't reassuring at all.  Most forums just had an "oh don't you worry about it, the medical staff is used to it and you will be too busy otherwise to be embarrassed" kind of approach.

Others seemed to imply that your body goes through this massive bowel evacuation movement a few days before labour.  Others still advised to switch to liquids and watery soups the moment you notice you're about to go into labour to ensure that you evacuate the pipes before it is too late.

Nope, still  not a satisfactory answer to me.

I also stumbled across someone mentioning Castor Oil.  Upon looking this up, it turns out that it is believed Castor Oil can help induce labour if Baby is overdue.  And this is done by triggering bowel cramps, thus making it an effective laxative.  Upon reading further though, it turns out that Castor Oil can cause - and I quote - " painful cramps, fecal incontinence and explosive diarrhoea. Its action can go on for hours, sometimes unpredictably and powerfully causing an involuntary bowel movement at inconvenient locations and during sleep" [quoted from Wikipedia].  As effective as it may be, I'd rather not risk it. 

Now I'm aware that different countries might vary slightly in their methods, so I decided to ask some local friends of mine who work in the medical industry.  It has been confirmed to me that an enema is given to minimise the chances of things  getting pretty stinky. Awesome! That has  taken a shitload of concern off my mind.

A by-product possibility of labour is piles.  A nurse friend of mine suggested to pack some piles cream in advance, just in case.


Once labour is over and done with, and Baby is born, it will be his/her shit you will have to put up with.  Surprisingly enough, Baby Poo comes in a wide variety of colour, textures and smells.  Yes, disturbing, and revolting.  But, the next few years of your [and my] life will be so full of it that I needed to know the differences to be able to tell if something is wrong or not.  Google, my old friend, helped me out with that.  Here is a guide to different Baby Poo - opt for text-only, or full-blown visuals!  Enjoy!