I've watched a change in you

Everyone is so focused on the bodily changes they go through during their pregnancy, that they don't realise there will be even more changes occurring after you give birth other than the obvious belly-deflation and the need to exercise to get rid of any extra weigh gained.

Your uterus will shrink
By the time Baby is evicted out of your womb, your uterus is about 15 times as heavy as it would've been prior to your getting pregnant.  That does not include its contents, mind you! Its capacity will be at least 500 times greater than before you conceived.

That being said, within a few minutes after Baby pops out, there'll be more contractions rocking your uterus that will cause it to shrink.  Imagine the contractions as being the reproductive system's equivalent of a fist.  This will  cause its crisscrossed fibres to tighten in the same way they do during labour.  These contractions will allow the placenta to detach itself from your uterine wall and be ejected.


It doesn't stop there! Once the placenta is out, more shrinkage occurs as the uterus closes off open blood vessels in the area where the placenta was attached.  These cramps are known as afterpains.

Oh, and besides from shrinking, your uterus will also be moving back into its original location since it would have ballooned up and filled in an area in your abdominal cavity where it usually shouldn't be.  This whole process is called "involution".

This cramping process starts a few minutes after Baby is out, yes, however it can take six weeks or more to bugger off. Oh joy!  More pain!  I suppose it is the body's way of reminding us that we have quite a bit of PMSing to catch up on. 

The cramps will be quite intense during the first day or two after giving birth, and start lessening on the third day or so and carry on for the following weeks until the involution is complete.

You will still look pregnant for a few weeks even after the involution is over and done with, and your uterus is back in its original place.  Your abdominal muscles get stretched out during pregnancy, therefore it will take several stomach crunches and some time to lose the rotund belly. 


Boobies!
There is a fair bit to be said about the wonderful bags of delight commonly known as Breasts.  I've already touched the subject - ha. touched. - in this previous blog.  The focus was mainly on changes occurring throughout the pregnancy itself, with just a brief mention of the aftermath. 

Well... the obvious place to start would be Breastfeeding - To Boob or Not to Boob? That is the question!  I won't delve into the whole topic as of yet as I am still undecided on how to proceed myself.  I tend to like having facts and figures in order to make an informed decision, as you might have guessed by now.  Alas, when it comes to Breastfeeding, the facts and figures tend to be tainted heavily by bias - either from a pro, or a con point of view.  I don't want other people telling me "This is bad, this is good" purely because they say so.  I have brains, thank you very much.  I like using them.

One thing to know about Breastfeeding is this - your boobs won't stop increasing in volume until you stop Breastfeeding.  When your milk comes in, usually a few days after delivery, your breasts will become swollen, tender, hard, and uncomfortably full. This is called engorgement  - and when it comes to finding out how long it will last, you tend to come across a lot of "maybe"s and "should"s.  A good way to help ease the pain [yep. MORE FRIGGIN PAIN.] is to refrigerate a couple of cabbage leaves and stick them in your bra.  Allowing your Baby to breastfeed regularly and/or pump the milk out can also help - if you're opting for breastfeeding.

To tie in with the previously mentioned Uterine Shrinkage, Breastfeeding can bring on them cramps or make them more intense.  This is caused by the oxytocin that is released by Baby's sucking.  The release of this hormone causes contractions. The only upside there is to it is that the crampy contractions help reduce postpartum blood loss... which means it is your body's way of preventing you from bleeding excessively.

Weight loss
You will lose quite a bit of weight immediately after giving birth! Let's do the math...

Let us say that Baby is of average weight.... so 3 - 3.7kg [7 to 8 pounds-ish]
Placenta would approximately weight another... 0.5 - 1kg [1 - 2  pounds] 
Blood and amniotic fluid would be about another.... 1 kg? [2 pounds]

That brings us to the grand total of  4.5 - 5.7kg [10 - 12 pounds]





To me, that means more than half the weight I have gained so far.  Sweet!




It doesn't stop there either! All the extra water that your cells retained during pregnancy, along with fluid from the extra blood you had in your pregnant body, will want to ooze its way out.  This means that you'll be peeing more often - if that is even possible - in the days following birth — almost 3 litres of piss a day!!

You might sweat a lot as well.  This means that by the end of the first week, you'll lose close to another 2 kilos [4 pounds] of water weight. The amount varies of course depending on how much  water retention occurred throughout your pregnancy.

Ladybits!
As to be expected, things down below will be a bit..... eh, how should I put this? It won't be nice, to put it in simple non-graphic terms..




If you go for a vaginal birth, it will cause your vag to remain a little larger than usual. Straight after birthing, it will remain stretched open and may be swollen or bruised.  Ouch! It will  take a few days for any swelling you may have to start going down... Slowly slowly, your ladybits will start to regain their muscle tone, and within a few weeks, it will mean that your vag will gradually get smaller. Doing Kegel exercises regularly helps restore muscle tone.

*cue mental images of a Body Builder Vag.*

Sorry about that!


If you were unlucky enough to have to have an episiotomy or a tear, your perineum needs time to heal.  This means you'll have to wait for the thumbs up to be given by your doctor during your Postnatal Check-up before you can get jiggy with it. Even once you get the go-ahead, you might still be tender and sore, so it is best to wait  until you're ready.

On a side note, it seems like Will Smith's dance moves are more effective than I was aware or.... having the tune play in another tab is still making me pause from typing to dance whenever the chorus kicks in. Sad, I know. It is fun though! I dare you try and resist the urge to do the same!!

So yeah - Use the forced break to figure out what contraception you'd like to go for.  I'm told by a good friend of mine that in spite of being happy to have gotten pregnant with her 3rd child only 4 months after giving birth, she's sick and tired of being pregnant - 2 years of more or less constant pregnancy takes its toll!

Once it is time to get your freak on again, take it easy.  Things might be somewhat different now.  You may find that you are lacking a bit in the vaginal lubrication department in comparison to  what it would have been like throughout your pregnancy. This is due to lower levels of oestrogen. Breastfeeding will only make it worse as it tends to keep oestrogen levels down. Invest in a good water-based lubricant. water-based lubricant, particularly Oil-based lubricants can lead to condoms to break or diaphragms to  get ruined as they tend to weaken latex.

Taking the piss are we?
Alas, nope!  Guess what? Even peeing will be a challenge!

It might come to pass that you won't be able to feel the need to pee for the first few days - especially if you've had a prolonged labour, or a forceps or vacuum-assisted vaginal delivery, - or more commonly, an epidural.  All of these scenarios cause your bladder to temporarily become less sensitive.

Recall the constant peeing I mentioned earlier in relation to weight loss?  Remind yourself to try and pee whenever you can as you will most likely need to, even though you don't feel the urge.  If you don't, you'll end up pissing your pants.  Sad, but true.

Besides from wetting yourself, you're likely to face other issues.  For example - your bladder might over-distend itself and therefore lead to urinary problems, besides from making it harder for your uterus to contract, leading to more afterpains and bleeding.

If you can't pee within a few hours after giving birth, a catheter will be put in your bladder to drain the urine. (If you deliver by c-section, you'll have a urinary catheter for the surgery and the following 12 hours or so.)

It must be a tough life being a nurse... you get to deal with peeing issues woman might face after giving birth too!

Tell your nurse about any difficulties you may be facing when it comes to peeing - be it an actual difficulty to pee, or merely producing just a tiny amount of pee every time you have to tinkle.  If your bladder gets too full, it can actually prevent you from being able to urinate.

Moody McMoody is still in town!
Thing is, once you give birth, your hormones need time to get back to pre-pregnancy mode. This means mood swings will still be around - very much like that irritating house guest who just does not know when it is time to sod off!

Besides from hormonal  issues, you'll also be dealing with discomfort you may still be experiencing from labour and birth, sleep deprivation and the other demands of caring for a new baby, as well as the emotional adjustment to motherhood.  It is extremely common to feel somewhat down in the dumps, or even overwhelmed.  Just make sure to keep an  eye on it.  If the moodiness lasts longer than a couple of weeks, speak to your doctor as there may be more to it.

Hair loss
Some women experience a spurt of hair growth during pregnancy, only to find it falls out in handfuls once they give birth for the first few months.  It's ok though - you won't go bald.

What may have seemed like a hair growth spurt is in fact a delay in hair loss caused by high oestrogen levels.  Once the oestrogen levels drop  once more, so will your hair.

By your child's first birthday, your hair should return back to its old self.

On the up side, if you became excessively hairy throughout the pregnancy [think hairy nipples, pronounced pleasure trail on your belly, gorilla legs etc] - you'll go back  to your old self within 3 - 6 months.

What about the Skin?
Hormonal changes can cause, or get rid of acne.  Some pregnant women get all pimply throughout their pregnancy whilst others get that 'glow' everyone keeps going on and on about.  The tables might turn once you give birth.  Everything will return back  to normal in due course though.

If you have chloasma (darkened patches of skin on your lips, nose, cheeks, or forehead), it'll begin to fade in the months after giving birth and probably go away completely, as long as you protect your skin from the sun.

To conclude - you're probably going to encounter the most dreaded post-pregnancy side effects of them all.

Stretchmarks.

Unfortunately there is no way to know how badly you'll be affected by said stretchmarks.  There are numerous claims for miracle cures out there.  Different people swear by different remedies.  To me, your best bet is to eat healthily and drink plenty of water.  This will keep your skin hydrated and less likely to encounter really bad stretchmarks.  If you're the kind of person who bothers with  these things, perhaps massaging the afflicted area whilst using some sort of unscented cream - maybe containing Aloe Vera or Shea Butter - or even just making your own Avocado Pulp may help.

I'm sure there will be more changes you will face that I can't think of right now.  I'll keep you updated as to what happens once I'm in that particular situation!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's Supermum!

In a few weeks' time, I can forget all about "me time" for quite a long while. As unfortunate as it may be, I know that it is out of necessity.



Having said that, I have no intention of spending the next 10-15 years without getting any "me time" - this is parenthood, not a prison sentence.

Parents who have the luck of being in a relationship won't find it that hard to have a break at least for a couple of hours once in a while - however their "couple time" is usually the one to suffer.  This, unfortunately tends to affect quite a lot of relationships - and might even lead to the situation to be so bad that they end up scrapping the relationship altogether.  I had come up with a rough sketch to prevent that prior to my relationship going *poof* - once Creature was a few months old, at least once a week, I would set in place "date night" - and I use the word 'night' very loosely there, since it might be a few hours in the morning or afternoon, not just the evening.  "Date night" was to be accompanied by good communication, and I think it would have worked out.


Once things changed, and I found myself facing Single Parenthood, that rough sketch flew out of the window.  I started doing a bit of research to find out how other Single Parents cope.  I won't have the luxury of another adult being around at night, for example, since I live on my own.  So I need to figure out to the best of my abilities how to recognise the signs that something is wrong, and know what to do in advance.  Prevention is better than cure, as they say.  For a worrywart like me, that certainly seems like one cliche with quite a lot of validity.


After talking to a few friends who are either Single Parents, or their partner is not around most of the time for one reason or another [e.g. working abroad], as well as doing some reading up, I think I may have come up with the beginnings of a rough sketch of a plan.  I'm not able to finalise it until Creature is here, of course - and some pieces of info I will need, I need to wait a few weeks or moths to obtain - however, it is a start.  So, here you go:

Plan ahead
It is late at night, and you run out of formula milk.  Or your child has a fever in the middle of the night and you're out of ibuprofen.  Or even less dramatic - you have a virus yourself, and you're too busy throwing up to care for your baby. Crap.

 These are very common scenarios unfortunately - so you have to be able to deal with the situation accordingly.  Some ideas of how to cope include:

• Find out if there's an emergency babysitting service in your area – while these services can be pricey, they can often provide help fairly quickly.
• Develop an "emergency list" of friends and family members you know you can call on.
• Find out where the closest pharmacies are, and what other shops stay open til late.  In a place such as Malta, where 24/7 opening hours are extremely rare, it is important to know who to refer to if need be.

If only!!

 Have childcare back-up plans
In Malta, we still have the awesome custom of having babies and children looked after by family members for the vast majority of the time.  Whilst I believe it is a good thing, I feel that a back-up plan is always necessary.  When I was discussing this with my own mother, she seemed on the verge of taking offence just because I mentioned the words "Day Care."

In truth, it is way cheaper to have family, or perhaps friends, babysit your child - but you have to keep in mind that everyone has their own life to live and there will be times when your usual babysitters won't be available.  Or, an emergency arises which involves both them and you.  Who will babysit your child then?

I have identified a couple of daycare centres in my area which I'll be checking out soon enough to find out their prices and whatnot.  I'm leaning towards a particular one so far from the information I got off their website - purely because they're available 24/7 and provide Home-based babysitting if necessary.  Since I don't yet know what shifts I'll be working once I return back to work  after maternity leave, knowing they don't have strict hours by when children ought to be picked up - as well as it being within walking distance from home - tends to score this centre a few extra points in my books.  I will go into more detail about this later on though - perhaps in another blog entirely dedicated to day cares etc.

Swapping babysitting services with other parents is also another alternative.  If you have any friends with children of their own, you may wish to have them babysit your child on one occasion, and then repay back the favour in kind.  This means that your children will get play dates! Therefore, you'll have killed two birds with one stone.

Swallow your pride
This is probably the hardest thing to do - however it will be necessary to not only accept help when offered, but to actually ask for it.  I have issues with this myself as I feel like I'm being a burden to others if I ask for stuff - however, bit by bit I'm having to grow accustomed to it.

I guess the key to it all is remembering that it is all for your child, at the end of the day - so by asking for/accepting other people's help, you're really just vocalising Baby's needs on his/her behalf.

Build a social network


I find this pretty hard because I've always been an introvert and quite selective on who I make friends with.  So I guess I will also have to change this and be less of an anti-social hermit for Creature's sake.  I have no idea how it will work out - but I have to try.

Look after yourself
A lot of parents stretch themselves too thin and forget they have needs.  I admit that I am guilty of this - I tend to bring other people's needs before mine.  However, it is important not to neglect yourself.

I have lived with the attitude of not really caring what happens to me as long as those I care about are safe.  Now, Creature's safety and well-being will rely on my own.  This means that I have to eat well, and be healthy, not just for his/her sake but for my own sanity as well.

I guess that a modified version of my original plan still needs to be retained.  Instead of "Date Night", I will have to come up with a healthy dose of "Me Time" and make sure I don't talk myself out of it.  I can already see me as being one of them stereotype parents you see in movies where they tell the babysitter that the emergency contact numbers are on the fridge, and who call several times throughout the night to check in on their child.  Ah well, we'll see how it goes when the time comes.