Those of you who know me, know very well that I'm not the girly girl kind of person. I've always been the kind of female to hate all the fussing and faffing about. This also is reflected in what I wear.
I hate shopping - unless it is for books. I don't get what the fuss is all about - trying on clothes that don't fit properly and/or you have no intention/means to purchase is just annoying,frustrating and a complete and utter waste of time to me. I also happen to a One Pair Of Shoes kind of person. What this means is that you can find me wearing the same pair of shoes in all sorts of different occasions. I can't walk in heels - and I don't need heels anyway - at least locally. When I'm travelling, then yes - I might get to feel short. By Maltese standards though, I'm on the tall side at 1m69cm/ 5ft 6.5 inches.
One thing I have just realised though is this. I have had 3 new pairs of shoes over the past couple of years. They all were laced and worn on extremely significant occasions.
The above photo depicts the first pair. This photo was taken at Skindependence 2010 - on the 2nd of July to be exact. That was the moment I defied gravity. And by that, I mean I was suspended from 4 hooks that were pierced through the skin of my back. It was one of the best moments of my life - one of my greatest accomplishments [and I can't wait til I get to suspend again!].
The second pair was when I went to Manchester exactly a year ago. I got there on the 27th of January, 2011. I already went into detail about this in this previous blog, so I won't repeat myself.
Today,the 29th of January 2012, I find myself lacing up the 3rd pair just an hour or so before I leave for hospital, where I will be giving birth over the next couple of days. The fun fact about this is that an exact year ago, I was in Manchester and we were going to have a photo shoot in the morning. This was where it all began with Creature's 'father'. By 'father' I mean sperm donor. I won't go into the dynamics of how and why he is absent as I don't think it is fair for me to badmouth someone who has given me Creature. I refuse to be the kind of Single Parent to badmouth the ex - regardless of how justified it might be. Especially when it comes to doing so publicly.
I guess this is some sort of subconscious change I go through whenever a major change in my life's direction is about to be taken.
I can tell that the end of the road is near. There have been bodily changes I've noticed over the past few days. Creature is still growing at a steady pace - I know because my belly started itching,meaning the skin is stretching even further. Movements are still going strong.
Thankfully, s/he seems to have settled in an upside down L position for the past few weeks. This does mean though that I'm off-centred, and that my right side gets all the kicks. S/he is getting somewhat cramped, meaning a kick is pretty visible, and I can actually feel the bottom of his/her foot clearly.I can distinguish the heel from the toes. Creature seems to have pretty big feet! Just like his/her mother I guess!
S/he is in the process of engaging him/herself for birth, meaning there now is somewhat of a pressure happening down below. It is also weird to feel punches so far down coming from inside! The building up of pressure means sitting down can be somewhat uncomfortable. It is an odd ache to explain. It somewhat resembles the achiness you feel after a good workout following along period with no physical activity whatsoever. Only, this is affecting the internal muscles of your Ladybits.
I'm constantly exhausted and insomnia is killing me. I pretty much am trying to crash as much as I can whenever sleep threatens to overtake me. My back is pretty achy, but my hips are aching even more. It feels as if I need to crack them to get some relief... but I can't.
38 and a half weeks
I have also noticed a change in my skin - which is the major indication of hormonal changes. Dry skin is back with a vengeance, and I'm getting spotty again.
Also, there have been changes when it comes to boobs as well.I can tell they're getting ready to turn me into a cow. With their filling in [even more than usual], it gives the breasts a more perky stance [yay!] so for the last few moments of this pregnancy, I can stop feeling as if they were inches away from becoming my belly button's new neighbours.
Tomorrow will be a day of potentially swearing my head off at the pram/pushchair/car seats as I try to reassemble them- wish me luck!
I don't know if this happens to you guys as well - but, whenever I'm close to a deadline, instead of panicking, a strange calm overtakes me. My mind gets split in two. There will be one half urging me to get to work on whatever it is, screaming and running about, throwing a scene. The other half will opt for a laid back attitude where procrastination is dominant.
At the moment,I've got a list of things that need to be done before the end of next week [for obvious reasons], however the only thing I feel like doing is sleep. Knowing that this will be the last few moments of complete silence I will be getting for a while makes me appreciate it more and wanting to savour it.
Tomorrow I've got another prenatal class. I must remember to let the midwife know that this may very well be my last one so that if there is any important info she needs to dish out, I'll be sure to obtain it.
Oh, and just in case you were wondering what the doll I was making is, here's the finished result:
As silly as it may sound, the idea that Creature will be popping out soon is strange. People around me, as well as myself, got used to the pregnancy. To think that there will be another major change happening puts you back to square one where you have to learn how to deal with it all.
I'm quite looking forward to finding out whether Creature is a boy or a girl. It will be odd not calling him/her Creature after having used that nickname for so long!
Tonight I don't have anything in particular going through my head. It is merely a mish-mash of thoughts and question marks that only time can eliminate.
It is funny how much I've changed over these past 8 months. My priorities have shifted more than ever. I see friends of mine who had children and who changed overnight. Suddenly they became parents and seemed to have lost their identity. I fear it is an epidemic condition - I have been exhibiting such traits myself recently. Sometimes my mind feels like it is turning into jelly.
Someone, please shoot me if I become one of them people who go on and on and on about their perfect - or perfectly diabolical - child 24/7. In this blog, it is to be expected - but I would still like to be able to talk about other stuff outside of the blog. I don't want to become a mindless drone.
Another thing on my mind is "How the hell am I going to cope?"
Tomorrow, my elder sister decided to organise a Baby Shower for Creature. I'm providing the venue,but everything else is out of my hands. I have never been to such a thingy so I am not sure what to expect. We'll see. I will keep you updated!
Now, I'm off to combat heartburn again. I feel as if I'm turning into a mint plant with all the Gaviscon I've been chewing on!
Everyone is so focused on the bodily changes they go through during their pregnancy, that they don't realise there will be even more changes occurring after you give birth other than the obvious belly-deflation and the need to exercise to get rid of any extra weigh gained.
Your uterus will shrink
By the time Baby is evicted out of your womb, your uterus is about 15 times as heavy as it would've been prior to your getting pregnant. That does not include its contents, mind you! Its capacity will be at least 500 times greater than before you conceived.
That being said, within a few minutes after Baby pops out, there'll be more contractions rocking your uterus that will cause it to shrink. Imagine the contractions as being the reproductive system's equivalent of a fist. This will cause its crisscrossed fibres to tighten in the same way they do during labour. These contractions will allow the placenta to detach itself from your uterine wall and be ejected.
It doesn't stop there! Once the placenta is out, more shrinkage occurs as the uterus closes off open blood vessels in the area where the placenta was attached. These cramps are known as afterpains.
Oh, and besides from shrinking, your uterus will also be moving back into its original location since it would have ballooned up and filled in an area in your abdominal cavity where it usually shouldn't be. This whole process is called "involution".
This cramping process starts a few minutes after Baby is out, yes, however it can take six weeks or more to bugger off. Oh joy! More pain! I suppose it is the body's way of reminding us that we have quite a bit of PMSing to catch up on.
The cramps will be quite intense during the first day or two after giving birth, and start lessening on the third day or so and carry on for the following weeks until the involution is complete.
You will still look pregnant for a few weeks even after the involution is over and done with, and your uterus is back in its original place. Your abdominal muscles get stretched out during pregnancy, therefore it will take several stomach crunches and some time to lose the rotund belly.
Boobies!
There is a fair bit to be said about the wonderful bags of delight commonly known as Breasts. I've already touched the subject - ha. touched. - in this previous blog. The focus was mainly on changes occurring throughout the pregnancy itself, with just a brief mention of the aftermath.
Well... the obvious place to start would be Breastfeeding - To Boob or Not to Boob? That is the question! I won't delve into the whole topic as of yet as I am still undecided on how to proceed myself. I tend to like having facts and figures in order to make an informed decision, as you might have guessed by now. Alas, when it comes to Breastfeeding, the facts and figures tend to be tainted heavily by bias - either from a pro, or a con point of view. I don't want other people telling me "This is bad, this is good" purely because they say so. I have brains, thank you very much. I like using them.
One thing to know about Breastfeeding is this - your boobs won't stop increasing in volume until you stop Breastfeeding. When your milk comes in, usually a few days after delivery, your breasts will become swollen, tender, hard, and uncomfortably full. This is called engorgement - and when it comes to finding out how long it will last, you tend to come across a lot of "maybe"s and "should"s. A good way to help ease the pain [yep. MORE FRIGGIN PAIN.] is to refrigerate a couple of cabbage leaves and stick them in your bra. Allowing your Baby to breastfeed regularly and/or pump the milk out can also help - if you're opting for breastfeeding.
To tie in with the previously mentioned Uterine Shrinkage, Breastfeeding can bring on them cramps or make them more intense. This is caused by the oxytocin that is released by Baby's sucking. The release of this hormone causes contractions. The only upside there is to it is that the crampy contractions help reduce postpartum blood loss... which means it is your body's way of preventing you from bleeding excessively.
Weight loss
You will lose quite a bit of weight immediately after giving birth! Let's do the math...
Let us say that Baby is of average weight.... so 3 - 3.7kg [7 to 8 pounds-ish]
Placenta would approximately weight another... 0.5 - 1kg [1 - 2 pounds]
Blood and amniotic fluid would be about another.... 1 kg? [2 pounds]
That brings us to the grand total of 4.5 - 5.7kg [10 - 12 pounds]
To me, that means more than half the weight I have gained so far. Sweet!
It doesn't stop there either! All the extra water that your cells retained during pregnancy, along with fluid from the extra blood you had in your pregnant body, will want to ooze its way out. This means that you'll be peeing more often - if that is even possible - in the days following birth — almost 3 litres of piss a day!!
You might sweat a lot as well. This means that by the end of the first week, you'll lose close to another 2 kilos [4 pounds] of water weight. The amount varies of course depending on how much water retention occurred throughout your pregnancy.
Ladybits!
As to be expected, things down below will be a bit..... eh, how should I put this? It won't be nice, to put it in simple non-graphic terms..
If you go for a vaginal birth, it will cause your vag to remain a little larger than usual. Straight after birthing, it will remain stretched open and may be swollen or bruised. Ouch! It will take a few days for any swelling you may have to start going down... Slowly slowly, your ladybits will start to regain their muscle tone, and within a few weeks, it will mean that your vag will gradually get smaller. Doing Kegel exercises regularly helps restore muscle tone.
*cue mental images of a Body Builder Vag.*
Sorry about that!
If you were unlucky enough to have to have an episiotomy or a tear, your perineum needs time to heal. This means you'll have to wait for the thumbs up to be given by your doctor during your Postnatal Check-up before you can get jiggy with it. Even once you get the go-ahead, you might still be tender and sore, so it is best to wait until you're ready.
On a side note, it seems like Will Smith's dance moves are more effective than I was aware or.... having the tune play in another tab is still making me pause from typing to dance whenever the chorus kicks in. Sad, I know. It is fun though! I dare you try and resist the urge to do the same!!
So yeah - Use the forced break to figure out what contraception you'd like to go for. I'm told by a good friend of mine that in spite of being happy to have gotten pregnant with her 3rd child only 4 months after giving birth, she's sick and tired of being pregnant - 2 years of more or less constant pregnancy takes its toll!
Once it is time to get your freak on again, take it easy. Things might be somewhat different now. You may find that you are lacking a bit in the vaginal lubrication department in comparison to what it would have been like throughout your pregnancy. This is due to lower levels of oestrogen. Breastfeeding will only make it worse as it tends to keep oestrogen levels down. Invest in a good water-based lubricant. water-based lubricant, particularly Oil-based lubricants can lead to condoms to break or diaphragms to get ruined as they tend to weaken latex.
Taking the piss are we?
Alas, nope! Guess what? Even peeing will be a challenge!
It might come to pass that you won't be able to feel the need to pee for the first few days - especially if you've had a prolonged labour, or a forceps or vacuum-assisted vaginal delivery, - or more commonly, an epidural. All of these scenarios cause your bladder to temporarily become less sensitive.
Recall the constant peeing I mentioned earlier in relation to weight loss? Remind yourself to try and pee whenever you can as you will most likely need to, even though you don't feel the urge. If you don't, you'll end up pissing your pants. Sad, but true.
Besides from wetting yourself, you're likely to face other issues. For example - your bladder might over-distend itself and therefore lead to urinary problems, besides from making it harder for your uterus to contract, leading to more afterpains and bleeding.
If you can't pee within a few hours after giving birth, a catheter will be put in your bladder to drain the urine. (If you deliver by c-section, you'll have a urinary catheter for the surgery and the following 12 hours or so.)
It must be a tough life being a nurse... you get to deal with peeing issues woman might face after giving birth too!
Tell your nurse about any difficulties you may be facing when it comes to peeing - be it an actual difficulty to pee, or merely producing just a tiny amount of pee every time you have to tinkle. If your bladder gets too full, it can actually prevent you from being able to urinate.
Moody McMoody is still in town!
Thing is, once you give birth, your hormones need time to get back to pre-pregnancy mode. This means mood swings will still be around - very much like that irritating house guest who just does not know when it is time to sod off!
Besides from hormonal issues, you'll also be dealing with discomfort you may still be experiencing from labour and birth, sleep deprivation and the other demands of caring for a new baby, as well as the emotional adjustment to motherhood. It is extremely common to feel somewhat down in the dumps, or even overwhelmed. Just make sure to keep an eye on it. If the moodiness lasts longer than a couple of weeks, speak to your doctor as there may be more to it.
Hair loss
Some women experience a spurt of hair growth during pregnancy, only to find it falls out in handfuls once they give birth for the first few months. It's ok though - you won't go bald.
What may have seemed like a hair growth spurt is in fact a delay in hair loss caused by high oestrogen levels. Once the oestrogen levels drop once more, so will your hair.
By your child's first birthday, your hair should return back to its old self.
On the up side, if you became excessively hairy throughout the pregnancy [think hairy nipples, pronounced pleasure trail on your belly, gorilla legs etc] - you'll go back to your old self within 3 - 6 months.
What about the Skin?
Hormonal changes can cause, or get rid of acne. Some pregnant women get all pimply throughout their pregnancy whilst others get that 'glow' everyone keeps going on and on about. The tables might turn once you give birth. Everything will return back to normal in due course though.
If you have chloasma (darkened patches of skin on your lips, nose, cheeks, or forehead), it'll begin to fade in the months after giving birth and probably go away completely, as long as you protect your skin from the sun.
To conclude - you're probably going to encounter the most dreaded post-pregnancy side effects of them all.
Stretchmarks.
Unfortunately there is no way to know how badly you'll be affected by said stretchmarks. There are numerous claims for miracle cures out there. Different people swear by different remedies. To me, your best bet is to eat healthily and drink plenty of water. This will keep your skin hydrated and less likely to encounter really bad stretchmarks. If you're the kind of person who bothers with these things, perhaps massaging the afflicted area whilst using some sort of unscented cream - maybe containing Aloe Vera or Shea Butter - or even just making your own Avocado Pulp may help.
I'm sure there will be more changes you will face that I can't think of right now. I'll keep you updated as to what happens once I'm in that particular situation!
