Sunday, 1 July 2012

If they wanna get me making toys, If they wanna get me, well, I got no choice

Tomorrow is the day I rejoin the "Real World" - and quite frankly, the "Real World" sucks.

I'm trying to figure out the effin buses that will take me to work, since the ever-so-clever new Bus Company that took over about a year or so ago decided to remove the bus stop that was the closest to my work place. 

For the coming 5 weeks, I'll barely be seeing Morgan other than whilst she's asleep - or half-asleep, anyway - and I'll see even less of HSS.  This will be followed by another 7 weeks of barely seeing HSS but thankfully, of spending more time with Morgan.  I can't wait til I'm on my proper shift so that I'll get some time with both HSS and Morgan - as it should be.

These past few months have been like a dream - spending every day with the two of them... Knowing that those days will now be over is somewhat painful.  I'm way too aware of how quickly Morgan learns new things and how quickly she's growing.  Spending time away from My Family will hurt. 

At least, Morgan will be spending most of her time with family anyway.  It just sucks being denied the opportunity to see her grow up step by step.

Cuddling up in front of the TV [1st July 2012]

I envy SATMs.  Stay-at-home-Mums, that is.  Or rather, Stay-at-home-Parents, anyway.  I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.  I know SATPs who are dying to go out in the Employment World - and Working Parents [like Yours Truly] who are dying to be with their child[ren] every single day.

I made my own bed, I know, and I will lie in it.  I have to keep reminding myself that it will be better for Morgan in the long run, this way.  I'll be able to provide for her financially much better than what I would be able to had I opted to quit my job and become a SATM. 

And yet, I can't help but wish I could be a SATM. 

Egoistically speaking, I am also what I commonly refer to as "meh" about not having as much time with HSS.  It mainly is knowing that by the time we get 5 minutes together during which we can talk, we'll both be too tired to actually make the most out of it.


  1. Good luck for tomorrow. Everything will turn out well in the end. You know you're making the right decision as painful as it seems now.


  2. Remember how much you worried about needing childcare etc before? That seems to have been resolved in a much better way than you envisaged. What I am saying is, it's just a short period of time and things have a way of being less terrible than what we dread. Good luck babe!