Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I've had complaints that I haven't blogged in a few days.


I've not been 100% health-wise, so it made juggling everything more tiring than usual.

All I have to say is this though:

I'm happy. Morgan is happy. HSS seems to be happy as well.

21st May 2012 - Happy times :D
On Saturday evening, Morgan slept over at my grandma's house.  HSS and I went out to celebrate a friend's birthday - didn't stay out late though as we were both pretty tired.  On Sunday, we grabbed brunch at Mint - whereby HSS's tastebuds were deflowered by means of the infamous Orgasmic Brownie.  After noms, we were going for a walk when I found a couple missed calls from my sis.  I called her back and she asked me to go buy nappies and Bebegel for Morgan as she had been restless all morning due to bellyache.

Off we went to the airport's pharmacy! It was the first of undoubtedly many Parental Emergencies to happen - and I'm glad I wasn't alone in this.  Once the goods were acquired, we went over at my grandma's to attend to Morgan's needs.  Eventually, Morgan and I came back home and HSS left for work.

Monday found us all in a pretty good mood, as can be testified via the above picture.  That is the first photo of the three of us.  One photo I very much cherish.  We played and cuddled all day!

Today is now Tuesday - and Morgan's Paternal Granny has arrived on the island! Her plane should have landed a minute ago.  I'm not in tip top shape as I have a very sore and swollen throat.  I think I had fever earlier, which is why Morgan is staying at my mum's for the night.  Will give me some time to try and recover as the days to come are going to be quite on the sociable side!

Morgan is teething at the moment which makes her uber drooly.  She is becoming more sociable than ever and more vocal too.  Today I kept imitating her sounds and that seemed to please her. She is also using her hands more efficiently and holds her head up straight for longer periods of time.  She still loves music and will get restless if there is no music on.  She turned 4 months old today! Can't believe time is going by so quickly!!

Friday, 18 May 2012

The way you make me feel

Motherhood, in the early years, involves mainly of trying not to get baby spew in your hair and all over your clothes, whilst soothing a colicky/gassy/bored/hurting/hungry/tired/overall cranky baby by carrying him/her on one hip/seating him/her on one leg and holding him/her with one arm whilst you attempt to do whatever needs to be done with the other hand.  All on very low levels of energy following sleepless nights.

Come sunshine or rain, health, sickness, pain - you name it - that is what the daily routine consists of for the vast majority of the time whilst Baby is awake.

There are awesome moments when Baby is in a good mood - you then get to hear gurgles, cooing, giggles, and you can enjoy playtimes.

Needless to say the ongoing threat of baby spew, amongst other things, can affect a New Mum's self confidence and her self esteem.  This tends to drive a lot of New Mums into a so-called self imposed Dry Spell.  Combine the changes in one's body with being over tired and always smelling of spoilt milk and acid - et voila!

Which is why, in my humble opinion, there is nothing sexier than a Man covered in baby spew.

Does it make sense? Undoubtedly, other mothers will understand where I'm coming from - especially those whose man refrains from holding a crying baby or from changing nappies out of fear of "breaking Baby" or some silly excuse along those lines. 

Morning noms! 18th May 2012

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

And then there were three

Today, HSS unlocked 3 consecutive achievements.

Firstly, the Almighty Nappy Change.

Morgan decided to go gently on him and refrain from going into Uber Pooper mode on him. Watching him trying to figure out how to undo her buttons made me realise how clueless men can be when it comes to these things. No wonder so many teenage boys never learn how to unhook a bra! Kudos to whoever invented the Dreaded Booby Trap's latching system.

Once Flying Potato was carried out and Morgan was dressed again, we moved onto Phase Two.

Feeding The Beast.

Having explained how the bottle warmer works, I then showed HSS how to check the milk's temperature to ensure that an optimal warmth is reached prior to the feed's commencement. I then popped the question.

The one question most men fear.

"Would you like to feed Morgan?"

Hesitantly but faking bravado, he accepted the challenge. He held Morgan securely and started feeding her.

That is when I needed to take the photo enclosed with this blog post. The scene unfolding in front of my eyes was the kind to make any women's uterus go *SQUEE!*

Right after the feed was over, task number 3 was carried out - namely reading "Guess How Much I Love You?" out loud to Morgan.

It was a "HELL YEAH!" kind of moment in my head.

Life is good!

All of the above was followed by HSS cooking, us nomming, and then I had to go to the Doc's for the Post-Natal Appointment. This is meant to be carried out after 6 weeks from giving birth. It has been 3 months, 3 weeks now.

I hopped on the bus with Morgan after bidding adieu to my HSS, and met up with my mum. We made a pit stop in Valletta as I NEEDED to go buy a book.

Destined by Aprilynne Pike. Book 4 - the final instalment - of the WINGS series. I marched in the shop looking for it and the salesgirl saw me and said "We received it today." I had been to the shop last week to ask about it. I told her "I know" - thanks to Davide who works in another outlet of the chain of bookstores who had messaged me in the morning to let me know.

Happy times will occur as soon as Morgan allows me to have some time to read.

We got to the doc's a few minutes late. Appointment was at 4pm.. By 5:20pm we were still waiting and there were another 3 people before us still. I told the doc's wife, who was acting as his secretary today, that I had to go and to call me to reschedule.

We made a dash for it, and I managed to get back home with Morgan just after 6pm - in time for her bath and bottle.

Oh - I almost forgot. On the bus, I caught Morgan red-handed - she managed to suck on her hand without spitting out the dummy. Sneaky baby! Clever too!

We are now chilling on the sofa, enjoying one another's company prior to bedtimes.

Monday, 14 May 2012

Celebrate good times! Come on!

Those of you who know me, know what to expect whenever the Carlton Dance resurfaces.

Yep. It is my Happy Dance!

Which can only mean one thing - good news!

I got the long-awaited phone call from work earlier today.  HSS and myself had just been playing with Morgan and I was in the process of changing her nappy when the phone call came through.  At first, they hung up by the time HSS handed me my phone.  Soon after though, the phone rang again.


This means I will now be working 4 days a week - for a total of 30 hours.  And - I will always go back home to an awake Morgan.  It also means I won't need the daycare as much - thus, less expenses.

Then, I got told I'd be called back with a confirmation of when I'll be returning back to work.  I thanked the HR Manager and hung up.

Morgan was in a playful mood then - and she seemed to have decided that forevermore, I should take on the role of Bad Cop whereas HSS would be Good Cop.  We had an 'argument', her and I, over her wanting to suck on her hand instead of the dummy.  HSS couldn't keep a straight face.  She kept spitting out, or pulling out, the dummy, looking at him with a grin on her face, then looking at me with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, grin, and slowly move her hand towards her mouth.  Eventually, she'd put her hand in her mouth, which is when I'd go "MORGAN! No handy!" and she'd immediately remove her hand, and allow me to give her the dummy.  We kept this up for a good 15 - 30 minutes.  I must admit, I too was trying not to burst out laughing.  I need to practise my stern look and "the voice" though.

Mischief is afoot! 14th May 2012

After what seemed like an eternity, I got a call back from work.  They informed me that I will be returning back to work on the 2nd July! ANOTHER MONTH WITH MORGAN!

AND it will be paid.  I'll then have 5 weeks of working 9-6 Mon-Fri due to refresher classroom training, followed by a good number of weeks of Mon-Fri 9-3 of hands-on training, after which I'd be going on my fixed, reduced hours. Any hours I work which exceed the 30 hours weekly would be taken as time in lieu, meaning my leave will be regained rather than getting paid extra.  I'm happy doing that.

Morgan and I then went for coffeetimes and banter with my mum, followed by a quick trip top the store to buy her formula milk, then back home for bath and bottle.  she is now happily snoozing the evening away. 

Anyway - off to prepare her bottles now!

Toodles! x

Mum's the word, they say

I hope all mothers out there had a brilliant Mother's Day!

In all honesty, I don't appreciate the occasion myself.  Why limit yourself to just one day a year where you show someone you care?  My first Mother's Day was nothing short of ordinary.  It still involved nappies and bottles and baby drool.  I see love in my daughter's eyes every day, so at this present moment in time "Mother's Day" is merely an insignificant phrase.

As HSS pointed out, the moment Morgan gives me some Mother's Day gift, my heart will probably melt and I'll start appreciating the 'holiday'.

So yeah, anyway.

Things are proceeding well.  With HSS, everything is going smoothly and I'm happy.  I have Morgan, and I have HSS - I want nothing more.

Today, I'm meant to receive a phone call form work regarding my return.  I'm hoping it happens earlier in the day rather than later so that I won't have to wait around.  Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly!

So, updates where Morgan is concerned.

On Saturday afternoon, she went out ON HER OWN for the first time.

My parents took her to Valletta with them.  I was so nervous about it! They got there and back by bus, so I was concerned that the pram might topple over at any point if they didn't manage to hold it properly.  Apparently, everything went well and my dad held Morgan for about 10 seconds for the first time.  When I was told he panicked, I couldn't help but laugh at the idea of a grown man not knowing what to do when faced with amusing a child.

Morgan also had her FIRST SLEEPOVER without me on that same day!  Since it was Date Night, and my mum and grandma hadn't seen Morgan in quite a few days, I agreed to have my mum babysit rather than a friend.  This meant that I could find some time to tidy up the house and not worry about having to get home early enough to have a decent night's sleep [or rather, attempted decent night's sleep] since I didn't have to wake up for the first bottle of the day.

All went well thankfully. 

I missed her sorely though.  The house isn't a home without her.  It was way too quiet - in spite of her being a quiet baby.  I missed her tiny nose snoring the night away and her occasional whimpering.

At one point, my brain kicked into Mummy-mode without me realising it.  As I was talking to HSS, he yawned and my hand automatically shot out and covered his mouth - just like I do to Morgan.  We both burst out laughing and he started going through all the things I tend to tell Morgan whenever she yawns and I try to convince her to make sounds whilst I tap her mouth.  

Now, I'm off to face the day.  Coffee summons!

Guten Morgan :D 14th May 2012

Saturday, 12 May 2012

The Name of the Game

A few days have gone by without my updating the blog. Sorry, peoples!

Things are proceeding well. Morgan is growing and growing and changing and learning. Her movements are becoming smoother, she is holding her head up more and more, and is a social butterfly. People can't help but fall in love with her.

I will have to buy a rolling pin for every birthday she celebrates, otherwise I won't have enough deterrents in my possession for her future datees.

As I type this, I'm watching a friend's 7 year old daughter play netball. This gorgeous girl has blond hair and blue eyes - and is very outgoing, curious, and fun to have around. Which is what makes it easier for me to picture Morgan in such a role. I can't wait til it is her I'll be watching.

On the other hand, it will mean time will have flown by way too quickly.

I'm cherishing every second whilst I still can.

I had a meeting at work yesterday regarding my return to work. Shit's getting real, as they say. Gods willing I will know when I'll be back and what hours I'll be working by Monday. If I get the reduced hours shift, I'll be working every Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. It suits me fine for the present moment in time. It will also mean that not only will I be able to raise my daughter myself with minimal daycare intervention, but I will also be able to juggle my relationship with HSS efficiently.

Speaking of which, all is fine and dandy in the HSS front. *insert Happy Carlton Dance here*

I'm going to bid you farewell for now - we're soon off for some hiking/picnic times. By we, I mean a couple of friends of mine and their offspring. Morgan is still too young to take with in such environments. Especially in such strongly sunshine-filled days. I can't wait til I'll be able to!!

Good morning! 11-05-2012

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

I have to say that all of this time I waited for someone like you: You are my dream

Morgan is starting to focus more on what she does - she is discovering her abilities from a new perspective! This means she ends up going cross-eyed on  a daily basis when trying to observe her dummy or her hands.

She is now pretty much wearing just her onesies all the time as the weather is getting too warm to wear layers.

Things are going well for me at the moment - HSS is a Godssend [yes, I'm aware I typed two s's there.] and I couldn't be happier.  Seems like I may have found my Not-that-white Knight and his loyal [Honda] Steed.  I know, I know. Bad pun.  I've been giggling over it all afternoon the moment it dawned on me as I was walking with Morgan to go meet my mum for coffeetimes.  It is unusual, but very pleasant, to have someone to help me out and to share things with and for a change, to be looked after.  I've been doing things on my own for such a long time, I forgot what this feels like.  Actually, I don't think I've ever felt this way before.  *grin*

I got her "two" new books - and I say "two" purely because the one with the Rainbow-winged Fairy on it is actually a pack of 4 pop-up books written by the awesome John Patience.  Morgan has got another 2 books by the same author.

Today I finally heard back from my workplace.  I've got a meeting on Friday morning to discuss my working hours and what training I'll need to refresh my memory and learn new things.  Fingers crossed!!

Morgan's Paternal Granny shall soon be coming over! Can't wait!

Also, in June, my very good friend Kathryn will also be coming over - it will be way exciting to introduce Morgan to her!! My Partner in Crime [PIC] Laura should also be visiting us soon - that'll be interesting and fun!

All in all, life is good right now :)


Monday, 7 May 2012

Winds of change

Knock knock!

Anyone home?

Sorry guys, I know I promised I'd update before the weekend was over, and I haven't.

I've had complaints for not blogging lately - my sincere apologies! Life got in the way.

Since too many days have gone by, I'm unable to do a day-by-day breakdown at this point in time since things are a bit hazy.

All you lot need to know is this:

Following the blog were I left off with saying I was going to go out in the evening, and red shoes had been unexpectedly acquired, things have changed. A LOT.

Guess who's in a relationship?


This Mama here has found herself a Homo Sapiens Specimen willing to put up with her insane ramblings and silliness and constant worries about Morgan.  Said HSS has already made an appearance in past blogs under the guise of a very good friend - namely in my entry about how a friend took ~Morgan and myself to hospital for her Chromosome count, or the one where a friend of mine was discussing Asperger's and Autism with me.  This HSS here has been there for me from day 1 of my knowing him - which was whilst I was still 6-ish months pregnant.  He was the one to take the trouble to install Linux on a pc, set up an FTP server on it, upload all of his music, and link me to it just so that I could download a handful of tunes to my phone whilst in hospital awaiting Morgan's birth to happen.

We talk a lot - and he knows Morgan will forever be my number one priority - and he is fine with that [as it should be].  He is also aware that after having been screwed over in the past, I need to take things slow - and he is fine with that too.  In a way, I feel as if I'm dating for the first time ever.

I have no idea how I'll juggle Work, Parenthood and Dating once I'm back to work to be honest - I'll figure it out somehow.  Surely I am not the first person to have to strike such a balance!

Oh, and HSS has also decided I need to learn how to drive.  So far, we've survived the first lesson in one piece.  If everything goes well, in about a year's time I might be officially a Menace Behind The Wheel and one of them Infamous Female Drivers.  Hopefully, with better skills than most.  And eventually, with a VW Beetle to call my own.

So - an incident where I screwed up royally last week:

I took the garbage out, and for once I forgot my phone and key inside.  BAM! The door slammed shut - locking me OUT and Morgan IN.  PANIC!

I rushed up and down the stairs leading to my upstairs neighbours' house twice in a frenzy trying to figure out what the hell I was meant to do.  A guy owning a garage across the street saw me panic and came over to ask what's up.  I told him I had been locked out and my daughter was inside.  He lent me his phone whereby I called my bro, asked him to log into my Facebook account and look for someone who knew my friend Rose's number as she had my spare key due to having been over at my house for a few days that week.  Eventually, he managed, and agreed to go pick up the key from her workplace.  Luckily I had already made plans with my bro's fiancee to come over for lunch - meaning she got here after about 15 minutes of my having been locked out, and she kept me company.

It took some hour or so until my bro, my mum, Rose and her son showed up - way more panicked than me - with my key.  The moment I opened the door I rushed to the kitchen where I found Morgan sitting quietly in her Rocker, waiting for me.

Yo! [4th May 2012]

As you can see in the above pic, Morgan is finally big enough to wear the Batman long sleeved top that my  friends Andy and Kyrie had sent her! She's now wearing 3-6month sized clothes, and they fit her like a glove.  Having said that, she's wearing just her onesies most of the time as the weather is starting to get too warm.

Oh, and last week, Morgan got given the cutest outfit ever that belonged to another Fae child called Faith.  Here's a couple of pics:

My Morgan The Fae with Rose :) 29th April 2012
My Ginger Faerie :) 29th April 2012
Oh, and just in case you were wondering about HSS - here is pictoral evidence of his existence:
I admit, part of the reason I was not blogging is that I originally created this blog as a place to vent whatever was on my mind.  Since he reads the blog, I wasn't about to post my internal conflict as to whether I'm better off preserving the friendship or attempt taking it a step further.  I'd have needed to keep it generic which would have probably proved to have adverse effects on it all.

My internal conflict consisted of the following - is it too early to date?  On the one hand, I've been dumped back in September by Morgan's sperm donor.  That's about 9 months ago more or less.  On the other hand. she is just 3 and a half months old.  Being a Single Parent is confusing, I must say.

I've met a lot of raised eyebrows - some people seem to think I'm a bad mum for wanting to give it a shot with someone who seems genuine.  They seem to think I ought to lock myself up and throw away the key and just be a 24/7 mum and nothing more.  It also seems to be beyond their comprehension how on Earth I can have a Date Night once a week, and still be a good mother.   I've also had people coming close to calling me a whore and accusing me of dating this guy and that guy.

Honestly? Fuck the whole lot of judgemental pricks.

Once you stop being shocked, read on, and you'll understand where I'm coming from.

Being a Single Parent means you don't have the luxury of having a partner to walk life's journey with you.  It means walking down the street pushing the pram/pushchair on your own whilst seeing other families walk by.  You get used to it, but it never stops hurting.  It also means that you have to do ALL of the parenting on your own without being able to vent about the rough patches to someone who'd know exactly what you're going on about.  Yes, there are friends.  But friends and a partner are not one and the same thing support-wise.

Yes, I'm also going to go there and point to the Elephant In The Room by mentioning that albeit it might suffer a lot, non-Single Parents also have the luxury of having a sex lfie, and a cuddle buddy.  Single Parents don't.

I fail to see how wanting to have someone in your life makes you a bad person.  Yes, you need to keep your priorities straight and you do need to be careful who you let in as they'll be part of your and your child's life.  You need to hone your communication skills and tell things exactly as they are to ensure you're all on the same page at any given point in time.

To conclude, I'll leave you with this:

I'm happy, Morgan's happy, We're all happy.  That is all that matters.