Thursday, 26 April 2012

A brief note-cum-update

We're ok.

I've been a bit too busy and preoccupied with a plethora of things to be able to blog. I promise I'll catch up on the updates before this weekend is through - even if just partially!

Morgan is having her last bottle of the day as I write this. She has her 2nd inoculation tomorrow - so not looking forward to her crying in pain! Hopefully she won't be feverish later.

Morgan wore her first short sleeved top today! *happy dance* Her arms looked like porcelain due to their extremely white colour! She is cooing and gurgling much more nowadays.

I love spending time with her more than ever. I am not looking forward to my return to work - speaking of which, I'm _still_ waiting for them to get back to me re: working hours. *grumbles*

There are new developments in my life, but I won't go into them as of yet. Let's just say, things are better than what I could've hoped for at this present moment in time.

Anyway, I'm off for now. Good night!

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Lead me into temptation

Yesterday Morgan and I spent a pretty relaxed day. In the morning, we played and just enjoyed each other's company, then in the afternoon we met up with my mum for coffee.

Following coffeetimes, we came back home. I bathed Morgan and my mum fed her whilst I gathered our things and we slowly made our way over to my grandma's house.

On our way there, we witnessed quite an impressive sunset. The sky seemed to be on fire.

Photo doesn't do it justice!

Once we got to my grandma's house, I cuddled Morgan for a while as she watched the soap opera with my mum until she fell asleep. I tucked her in bed, and got ready for a night out.

Gods, I missed the mosh pit! I hadn't been to a punk gig in ages - and whilst I was in hibernation, it seems like the vast majority of punks vanished off the face of the island. I think there were about 30 attendees. It was a good night, nonetheless. Some drunk Irish dude started rambling on about Crass - just because I happened to be wearing a Crass t shirt. He kept saying how much he had been wanting to find a t shirt like mine for himself, and asked where I got it from. At one point I told him I wasn't about to take off my t shirt and give it to him - it wouldn't fit. Which is when he stopped the ramblings.

I caught up with a few old friends, and after the gig was over and the venue locked up for the night, a good friend of mine gave me a ride back home. I managed to stay out until the end! Yay!

As soon as I arrived home, I grabbed a bite and snuggled up to Morgan and fell asleep.

This morning, Morgan and I had some cuddles before I made my way over to my place for some house chores.


On the way home, the unthinkable happened. I bought a pair of red peeptoe heeled shoes for myself. I'd have never thought I would ever own a pair of red shoes as I think it takes some balls to wear them. They're not simply shoes - they're a statement.

Ah well. Never say never I guess!
Oh, and I succumbed into temptation. I smoked a cigarette. Nearly choked half to death over it. I plan for it to have been a one-off though. I don't want to become a smoker again.

Now, I'm off to continue tidying up. I won't finish all the chores today for sure as I'm pretty knackered, but I'm hoping to make some good progress.


Thursday, 19 April 2012

Three is the magic number

The day before yesterday was one of them days where Morgan's bellyache meant she needed to be held all day long. There were a couple of times when I had to put her in her seat or rocker. That resulted in her crying her eyes out.

I managed to de-weed a small part of the back yard, sweep the back yard and the kitchen floor, and prepare her bottles.

Later on in the afternoon my mum came over for a short while - just as Morgan had drifted off to sleep. She obviously woke up the moment she heard the front door close.

Once my mum left, Morgan and I just spent the rest of the evening cuddled up.

Yesterday was a better day for Morgan. This meant I could put her in her seat next to me whilst I did some crafting. I'm working on a couple of teddy bears at the moment. The plan is to make as many toys as possible, and then sell them. It is merely a plan though - not sure if it'll be put into action. I can try.

My mum came over, and this time Morgan was wide awake, so they played and danced a bit. Morgan and I then spent the rest of the evening watching movies and playing.

Smiley morning! [19th April 2012]
Today, Morgan woke up in a better-than-usual mood as she kept smiling without my needing to say a word to her. I fed her at about 5:45am, then again at about 10am, and once more at 2:15pm. In the meanwhile, we napped, played and watched movies. My brother also paid us a brief visit, seeing as he was in the neighbourhood. It was good to catch up with him as nowadays, what's with us having different life schedules, we don't get to see each other that often.

After her 2:15pm bottle, we made our way over to my grandma's house. We stayed for about 3 hours and then headed back home. We made a pitstop at a cafeteria nearby for coffeetimes with my mum, who decided to walk us home.

Once back home, I bathed and fed Morgan, and we watched another snippet from the movie we're currently watching (The Good Witch's Family.. We watched the previous three already). She then crashed soon after, so I've been doing stuff ever since. Now about to change her nappy, feed her, and tuck her in bed.
Oh, almost forgot. We've been "arguing" for the past three days as she keeps spitting out her dummy and sucking on her hand, prompting me to tell her "no", remove her hand, and give her the dummy again. I'm finding it hard to keep a straight face especially since she seems to think it is a game and therefore smiles and chuckles at my reactions. That, of course, makes me giggle in return.
Anyway, off to complete the bedtime routine! It is quite a slow evening, so I might as well join her.

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Six Six Five - The Neighbour Of The Beast

Thursday 12th April:
So, what happened today?

Morgan woke me up at about 5:15am wanting to be fed. We finished the cleaning up and feeding at about 5:45am and we slept some more. She then woke me up again at about 9:15am with a backfist flying in my face.

I stayed in bed next to her, watching her sleep until it was time to feed her.
Once fed she nodded off again so I put her in her rocker, and she woke up soon after. She was quietly playing with the dangling toys, so I managed to grab a quick bite, do some laundry and prepare her bottles.
We then spent the day playing and watching movies. This was our Quiet Day In, which was much needed. Going places with Morgan can be very tiring - both mentally and physically. Being aware of my surroundings all the time to ensure she's safe is just as tiring as pushing the pram uphill or holding it still on the bus.

Friday 13th April:
We woke up at around the same time as the previous day, and we watched more movies. My plan was to have another quiet day in, however plans changed the moment my mum came over. She immediately started to hint I should go out so that Morgan can sleep over at their's.

I tried to ignore the nagging, but eventually gave in. I told my mum I'd bathe Morgan before we leave, but my mum insisted I should do it once at my grandma's house lest Morgan catches a cold. With a sigh, I agreed to do it her way. BIG MISTAKE.
Halfway there, Morgan started getting restless as she wanted her bath and to be fed. I turned on the music on my phone and stuck it in the pram for her to listen to. The moment she heard Mr Mercury sing "Its a kind of magic," she stopped all the fussing. My mum was impressed by Morgan's musical tastes!

Once we reached our destination, I immediately bathed Morgan and fed her right after. She started getting cranky after her bath and feed, so I turned on the music again, and once more she stopped all the fuss and fell asleep within a matter of minutes.

I decided I should try going out since Morgan was settled. And so out I went!

There was a 50s/60s party going on which I decided to check out... I didn't last an hour there. Went to my usual haunt instead - and bumped into a friend. We hung out for a while and at about 2am I made my way home.

4 and a half hours. Not bad.
Once home, I hopped into bed and snuggled up with Morgan.

Saturday 14th April:

We woke up relatively early, as the plan was to go to Medieval Mdina. This is an annual event spread over two days where the old capital city is transformed into a Medieval Fair with sword fighting, music, lots and lots of food, street vendors etc. Museums also have reduced prices to encourage locals and tourists alike to go in and have a look at whatever is on display.
The weather was rather uncertain, so it took us a while before summoning up the courage to attempt our outing. But, attempt it we did.

We got to Mdina at about 12:30pm and we walked around for a while, pausing every so often to watch whatever activity was going on. We managed to catch a show by a sicilian group of flag-bearer-waver-thingmabob group. The weather was still playing up and suddenly it started to drizzle. My mum, Morgan and I ran into the Priory Cafe for lunch.

The Cafe is quite impressive. Considering how old the whole of the city is, and that Malta is bursting full of history, it is not uncommon for said history to be found in layers. Literally. When I went into the restroom to change Morgan's nappy (alas, no nappy changer was available, so the pram had to make do as a surface for the nappy changing business.) I noticed that there was a glass pane to the side, creating a sort of balcony effect. When you look over the 'balcony' side of the restroom (this section only contains the sink.. The toilets are behind closed doors), you get to look at what's underground. And what is underground is an alcove of sorts with what seems to be a female Roman Statue lying down.
Right after lunch we roamed around the streets again. We met a good friend of mine who happened to be over here on holiday (visiting family) and caught up. We watched the last tune by a german folk band called Liudon Incorruptus, followed by an illusionist's performance and a sword fight. Morgan fell asleep in my arms after a while, however she did seem to be captivated by the performances!

Soon after, we made our way out of the city, caught the bus and made our way back over to my grandma's house.
Having had quite a struggle all day against the strong winds dominating the island all morning, both Morgan and I were quite wiped out, so we decided to stay for the night. Morgan fell asleep at about 6:30pm and slept til morning (with the exception of when I woke her up to feed her).

Sunday 15th April:

Once awake, we took it easy all morning, as the weather was still a bit unstable- or so the weather forecast claimed.

In the early afternoon, we headed back home. The journey back here was rather hectic, as it was still rather windy and silly me wore a dress. This meant I had a few Marilyn Monroe moments. Someone's day was made as a consequence. Ah well. If one can't laugh at themselves, then life surely would be way more stressful than it already is.

Once home, Morgan and I just cuddled up and played until bedtime.

Monday 16th April:

Monday morning, I got Morgan fed and cleaned up and we made our way over to my Grandma's. Shortly after we arrived, my mum showed up. I needed to run off for a few brief moments as I had to go check out a piece of furniture from some guy who lives round the corner from my Grandma's house.

I didn't have a mobile number for the guy and the doorbell didn't work, so I stood on the corner waiting for him to show up. As it happens, I started singing "Figaro" in my head whilst I waited. That seems to be my permanent "hold music", so to speak.

After about 10 minutes of standing on the corner feeling like a lady-of-the-night, if you catch my drift, I see the door open. The guy was in the house all along!

I had a look at the furniture, thanked the guy and went back home. I'm afraid it was a no-go, mainly due to it having S-shaped legs. I'm paranoid about it potentially toppling over once Morgan starts walking. I can't really anchor every single piece of furniture here since it is a rental place, otherwise the house will start looking less like a human residence and more like a slab of cheese.

I then got extremely pissed off due to matters which I won't divulge here. Let's just say that people's communication skills need a major upgrade at times.
I decided it was time to go home, and so I put Morgan in her pram, and went to get another bag from the other room. I wasn't away for even 10 seconds, but upon my return I peek into the pram only to find Morgan with her index finger stuck up her nostril.

I couldn't stop laughing. Thanks to Morgan my mood went from murderous rage to hysterical laughter in 0.001 seconds.
My mum tagged along, and stayed with us whilst I bathed Morgan. Soon after, she bade us farewell. Morgan and I got to chill for the rest of the evening. She fell asleep shortly after though.

I woke her up at about 11.30pm to clean her up and feed her, and then both of us got to call it a night.

 Morgan snoozing! 16th April 2012

Tuesday 17th April (a.k.a today):

Morgan woke me up at about 6:45am to have her nappy changed and to be fed. Right after feeding her I prepared her bottles for the rest of the day and made myself a coffee.

Morgan decided she wanted to stay up after being fed, and so we went to the living room where we got to play a bit. She nodded off in my arms about an hour later though. That meant one thing - time for me to catch up on blogging! It is now 8:43pm and I'm not done typing away yet!
She slept right through to her next feed. Just as we were about to finish the feed, my soon-to-be sis-in-law showed up for a long overdue catching-up-over-coffee session. Morgan got to play a bit with her beloved Auntie Melzy, and we discussed her pending wedding related topics.

Playtimes! 17th April 2012
Shortly after she left, my mum came over with goodies. She stayed at mine for about an hour and then got picked up.

Morgan's evening feed wasn't due until 8pm, however usually it happens between 6pm and 7pm, before which she's accustomed to having a bath. Routine won her over and by 7pm she was crankily demanding her bath and bottle.
Onesie turban :D

As usual, she passed out right after being fed.
It is now 10:02pm. By the time I upload this entry, it'll be time for her last feed of the day. Therefore I bid you all good night!

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

I got 5 on it

7th April - Saturday night:

I failed.

I tried to go out. I didn't even last 2 and a half hours before I came back home to be with Morgan. The gig I went to happened to feature one of my favourite locals bands, too! And yet, the urge to come back home and be with her was too overwhelming.

Thankfully, a friend offered me a ride home as he wasn't in the mood to stay out. The moment I got back home, I rushed to Morgan's side and held her hand. She stirred, slightly, and I breathed out a sigh of relief.

I snuggled up in bed next to her and fell asleep shortly after.

Easter Sunday (8th April):

Woke up, fed Morgan, and stayed in bed for as long as I could together with Morgan. My grandma gave Morgan a teddy bear soft toy with an easter egg attached to it. The egg, I'll be munching on this year. The bear will be enjoyed by Morgan when she's a bit older since it has choking hazards (beady eyes and a glued-on nose that could be easily pulled off).

My sisters visited briefly, and in the afternoon, my elder sister, Morgan and I walked back home. I noticed how used I have gotten to pushing a pram whilst walking with my sis. I let her push the pram and Gods know how many times she bumped into things (like the edge of the pavement, potholes or doorsteps). When pushing a pram or pushchair, one has to examine the ground that is way ahead of them all the time and memorise what obstacles are present. It is similar to programming your very own Mental GPS System.
Woe is me!

Once home, she hung out with Morgan and myself for a short while and then left us to a nice relaxed evening of watching Once Upon A Time together.

I bathed Morgan upon her request. "How?" you might be wondering. Well, Morgan very rarely is fussy. On Sunday early evening, she was fussy for no apparent reason and kept fidgeting. I took her to the nappy changer so that I could have a peek and see if she needed a nappy change. The moment I lay her down, she stopped whining. That is when I realised that she actually _wanted_ a bath! She is starting to enjoy being buttnaked and feeling all fresh and clean. Right after bathing her, drying her up and clothing her, she fell asleep in my arms. I woke her up to feed her and she then went back to sleep. Later, I woke her up again for another feed and yet again, she drifted back to sleep straight away!

Monday (9th April):

Willow & Dimi [her dad], Morgan & myself :)
We met Becca, Dimi and Willow in Valletta! This was Morgan's first encounter with another baby. It was good to finally meet Willow as Becca and I have pretty much followed one another's pregnancies and parenthood up til now.

Willow seemed interested in Morgan, but Morgan's attention span is still limited and so there wasn't much interaction yet. It was still pretty cool.

Morgan and I in Valletta
I do have a complaint though. We went to this cafeteria just opposite the St John's Co-cathedral, and were left waiting for food for about an HOUR AND A HALF. With TWO babies. All we wanted was a pizza, a burger and a salad. No biggie! We ended up paying for our drinks and going elsewhere. This time round, food only took about 15 minutes and the waiter was nice enough to get me a jug of boiling water for me to warm up Morgan's bottle when it was time for her to eat.

It was really awesome watching Willow make a mess of her fruit puree food thingy! I can't wait til Morgan starts the weaning process! I'm sure I'll be exasperated at times, but food is meant to be enjoyed and boy do babies enjoy it!!

Right after saying our farewells, I took Morgan to Paola to meet up with my mum. We had coffee, and afterwards Morgan and I came home.

Morgan then requested she be bathed. I'm not kidding! She was restless and cranky, so I put her on the nappy changer to check if she needed a nappy change. The moment she was flat on her back, her mood improved and I realised she wanted a bath. Thus, I obliged. She was really cheerful afterwards!
We were both pretty tired, and so we just hung out and eventually went to sleep.

Yes, I hang out with my baby. She's cool! I actually enjoy spending so much time with her, watching movies, playing, listening to music, going places etc. She's fun and good company.
We watched some more Once Upon a Time episodes, and then it was soon bedtime.

Tuesday 10th April 2012:

We took it easy. Didn't go anywhere as it would have been too tiring. We watched the last few episodes of Once Upon A Time, and then watched Van Helsing. Both Morgan and I nodded off whilst watching it though. All the running around we have been doing lately tends to drain me. Plus, all that fresh air tires her out too.

Yet again, Morgan requested a bath at about 6-7pm. She seems to now want to be bathed before her early evening bottle is fed to her. I'm fine with that timing as it means she gets the day's grime off her early, but not too early so that she's still clean by bedtime.

Oh, and we had an "argument".  Morgan kept spitting out her dummy and trying to suck on her hand. I'd stop her and stick the dummy back in her mouth only for her to spit it out again and suck on her hand.  We spent some 5 minutes at it.   She then accepted the dummy, but shortly after I noticed she was trying to sneakily replace the dummy with her hand again.

Sneaky baby!
We played quite a bit and once it was time for her to have her night bottle - around 10:15pm, I decided I'd join her as I was pretty exhausted.

Wednesday 11th April:
Got woken up at about 5:15am by Morgan who seemed to have gotten hungry earlier than usual. Unfortunately it meant I also had to prepare the day's bottles at silly o'clock.

The steam steriliser took forever. Once it turned itself off, I prepared the bottles, put them in the fridge, and rejoined Morgan in bed. She had stayed up waiting for me to return to bed.

We snoozed some more, until Morgan decided she had had enough at about 9:15am and wanted to watch the light change through the window and to play. I laid her on the bed in front of me and we played for a while until it was time for her next feed.

Once cleaned up and fed, we set out to go pick up a parcel sent by her Paternal Granny from the post office. Such awesome stuff was contained in said parcel! A couple of outfits, a hat, a "Superhero" cushion - I call it so because the cushion cover has the letter M on it. Reminds me of the Superman S and stuff. Also, a giggle toy (one whose belly you press for it to make a sound), a pair of sandals, and a face cloth which is hilarious and awesome! It is one of them thingies you put in water and they expand. Its got a dinosaur on it, called Morganosaurus. The moment I read out its name, Morgan grinned. She seems to like punny stuff. *grin*

We stopped by at my grandma's, then went for coffee with my mum. Yes, I really like coffee. After coffeetimes were had, we returned back to my grandma's for a while. Since it was rather cloudy and drizzly, the moment the sun came out, we set on our way back home lest it rains.

Once back home, we just chilled and played. Morgan seemed to be amused by my singing along to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" as she grinned when I started singing along to it. I had the same reaction from her a few days ago, but it was with Walk Like An Egyptian. She has good taste in music!

I bathed Morgan, fed her, played some more and she then nodded off. Took care of some laundry which I only just remembered I need to attend to... Argh! I don't feel like dragging my tired arse out of bed! Ah well. I suppose I have to anyway in order to edit this post once I submit it to my laptop..
I only just fed and cleaned up Morgan for the last time today. She is now fast asleep in bed.

Oh, epic news! Her Paternal Granny just rebooked her flight! In just about 6 weeks, she'll be over! It will mean that my time at home with Morgan would be nearly up, but I suppose at least it is something to look forward to. A way to sugar coat it all, if you will.

I'm still waiting to find out what is going to happen at work. I called yesterday and was told they'll call me back.

I'm still wishing I had the luxury of being a stay-at-home mum.
Ah well.

If you've managed to read all of the above - well done! Here's a cookie!

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from GO Mobile

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Busy as a bee

Excuse the lack of posts - at the moment, I'm a bit stressed out and somewhat busy so whenever I start writing,I have to stop before I finish whatever it is and end up not posting it until a few days have gone by. I am currently working on a post that will include details from Saturday up until the day when I will post it.

I might not be able to post as regularly as I have done in the past, but I still want to document every single day at the best of my abilities.  Not just for you lot, or for me, but for Morgan as well.

Until I get round to posting the aforementioned blog post, I'll leave you with this:

9th April 2012, in Valletta

Friday, 6 April 2012

Three Days' Grace

This entry will cover 3 days.

4th April 2012:

So, I won't be writing about what's going through my mind right now or I'll start sounding like a broken record.  [Yes, still thinking about the return to work thingy].

OK fine, I'll write some more about it whilst my food is done cooking [mmmmmm pasties].  I did some reading up on Separation Anxiety and it seems like the vast majority of articles I came across focus on the kind of Separation Anxiety children tend to feel when they have finally realised that they are a separate person from their primary carer.  This is caused by their lack of understanding of the concept of time.  If they don't see their primary carer, they end up not knowing if or when s/he'll come back.  This is what causes them to panic and be anxious about it.

There is little out there about how parents are meant to cope with it when they are the one experiencing the anxiety.  All I kept reading was "don't worry too much" or "don't feel guilty" bla bla bla.  It is one thing to say it, and a completely different thing to be able to do it.  I suspect they don't delve much into it so as not to tell you how awful it really can be.

*sniffs the air* mmmmmm pasties.

OK, where was I?  Ah yes.

I am now waiting to find out what shifts I'll be working to try and figure out how the heck I'm going to manage being a Working Single Parent.

I'm told that stay-at-home mums end up regretting staying at home as the lack of adult company drives them crazy.  I would rather experience that than miss out on my daughter's childhood.  Ah well, I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side.  *insert Stoner puns here*

Heh, sorry. Although I don't smoke pot myself, I can't help but think of it whenever that expression is used.


Right now, I'm focusing a lot on the Pagan Mama facebook group as it is allowing me to do some reading up and discuss topics related to both Parenting and Paganism with others in similar situations as I am.  It also helps me create and find information that is easily accessible to children - which I'm keeping on file for Morgan.

Yesterday I started framing the Faerie Oracle deck so that eventually I'll hang up all 66 frames in Morgan's room.  Well, 65, perhaps.  The first card is left blank for the person owning the deck to draw their own Faerie Guide.  I may keep that for Morgan to doodle when she's a bit older.

Yesterday it was relatively uneventful.  I tidied up, I spent time with Morgan. We played, we watched the first episode of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys together, and then we went for coffee with my mum.

I also got this Plaster of Paris kit for her with a Fairy Mirror mold and a Fairy Name Plate mold for her.  I will look into them at a later date though.

Oh, and the washing machine repair dude came over and fixed it for me.  Turns out a Colour Catcher sheet got stuck in the filter.  Oops!  That's what I get for trying to be economical and eco-friendly I guess!  Needless to say, I then switched myself on to Laundry Mode.

My mum got Morgan a couple of board books,and a deck of flashcards in Maltese.  They will come in handy as it is somewhat difficult to find interesting books in Maltese.

6th April 2012:
On Wednesday, I baked Sugar Cookies. I'm lucky if there was 1 that turned out round.  They were edible though.  And no one died of food poisoning.  Yesterday [Thursday], Morgan and I spent a pretty relaxed day.  I swept the floors, tidied up, and cleaned up the house as much as possible whilst battling the ants that decided to show up overnight.  We played, listened to music, watched The Lorax online, and she napped quite a bit.

I set up 3 altars - one dedicated to the Maiden,the other to the Mother, and the last to the Crone.  At about 6pm, friends started to show up.  We were 7 in total - including Morgan and myself - and we celebrated the [almost] full moon, had banter, ate and drank.  When they left, my fridge had more stuff in it than what it had before they came over!

Once everyone left, I fed Morgan her last bottle of the day, and put her to bed.  I joined her soon after.  I had aa pretty crappy night's sleep - was still stressing out over the work thingy, so I kept waking up.  Seems like insomnia is making a harsh comeback now that I'm really stressing out over something. Yay!

At around 6am, Morgan woke me up to clean her up and feed her, and she went back to sleep soon after.  I did some housechores, and managed to cut her fingernails as she slept.  Once it was time for her next feed, I called my mum and we agreed to meet up and go for a walk by the seaside with Morgan. Bad idea.  Not even 5 minutes into it,I got a splitting headache that turned into a migraine.  That is what I get for going out in direct sunlight.  I swear I was born in the wrong country.

I was really annoyed at this place where we went to grab a bite.  They expect children to show up at their food outlet.  The highchair in the corner was proof of that.  And yet, the entrance to their shop has no ramp, and they have no flipping baby changer meaning I had to change Morgan's poopy nappy in her pram, with people eating a couple of tables away from the most remote corner I could find.  Argh!!!  It was really awkward.  I know I won't be returning any time soon.

Once we left, we went over to my Grandma's, fed Morgan, tried to have a nap to get rid of the migraine, and then came back home.  Migraine  is still pestering me - it is currently 11:36pm.  Hopefully it will leave by morning.

Morgan & myself @ B'bugia [06/04/2012]

Monday, 2 April 2012

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

Today has been relatively quiet. A couple of friends came over in the afternoon for banter, and then my mum came over in the early evening.   I managed to tidy up the place quite a bit, since Morgan has been quiet all day.  She has been asleep for the past couple of hours, and I shall soon be waking her up for her last bottle of the night.

She's starting to take off a sock on a daily basis now.

See? Baby Bigfoot!

Every day that goes by, she becomes more and more interactive.  I can't bear the thought of our time together being limited.  I know it is for her own good - however I really wish I could be a stay-at-home mum rather than have to be a working mum.  Right now it is all I keep thinking of.  She does something new every day - and right now  I'm blessed with being able to witness them happening.  Once I go back to work, I will be missing out on watching my child grow up.  Even thinking about it gets me all choked up.  I know, I know.  I'm not the first and definitely won't be the last mother to have to deal with this.  Wishing for the "if only" is a complete and utter waste of time. And yet, I can't help it.

I hope our bond won't change.  Children tend to bond the most with their primary carer.  Once I'm back to work, I will no longer be that primary carer to her.  She will be spending most of her time with someone else.  I worry too much, I know.

All this makes it even harder for me to understand Absent Parents.  How on earth can anyone walk away from the opportunity of being in their child's life?  It is beyond my comprehension.

Sunday, 1 April 2012

I'm a Joker in the pack

Morgan giggled today! I caught  her off-guard and tickled her foot. The giggle was completely unexpected! I can't wait til it happens again!!!

She also successfully got the hang of what to do with her voice when I tap her mouth to achieve my same result!

1st April 2012

Earlier today, I managed to fool a handful of people into thinking I had a hangover.  I'm guessing they were shocked purely because I haven't had a drop of alcohol  in 2 and a half years!