Her eyes are currently a dark blue, her sparse hair is ginger, and she is gorgeous.
I'm in love.
I had dreams, which I don't recall but which of course left me feeling even more tired that usual.
My waking up also woke up my mum - (see very unflattering photo) whom I am currently envying for her ability to consume coffee. I'm thirsty but cannot have anything. Not even water.
I woke up to find that the bag of liquid I was attached to (i.e. the drip) had finished, so I pressed the button to call for the midwife. My cousin came rushing in asking what's up. I pointed out to her the drip had finished dripping, so she unattached me from it. Yay, I can move my arm about for now!
Turns out Food Lady is a nurse of sorts and I decided that her rhetorical questions annoy the living crap out of me.
She-Doc took 20 minutes to come into the room, and the moment she walked in, I could hear the dramatic music accompanying her.
She said that Creature is a big baby - estimated to weigh 3.7kg. This caused her to want to consult with the Profs. I waited for her to come back, which she did after about 10 minutes. She said that Profs was concerned Creature would either get stuck at the shoulders or I would bleed excessively.
She agreed to examine me before taking any decisions. Thus, my getting fingered with my mum standing right in front of me. Yay!
I'm surprised no one commented about the piercings since I left everything in its place for now. Anyway. The She-Doc looked at the midwife in the room and gave her The Look. You know the one people give you when they are about to break some bad news to you and are pitying you? That look there.
She-Doc said I was nowhere close to being physically ready for birthing physically. She said they wouldn't use the gel, and could re-examine me in the morning but 99.9% it would be a C-section.
It felt as if the world had collapsed on my head. I really wanted to avoid having to resort to it.. Only to be told I won't even get the opportunity to try and give birth naturally.
I had been wanting to try and go painkiller-free. With a C-section? Not an option. A Spinal is required.
The midwife in the room tried to argue in my defence as she noticed I was trying to hold back tears. All it took for the floodgates to open was her asking me if I was ok with it. I said "I have to be." And so she said "I could see it written all over your face."
I came back to my room and an ECG was taken to monitor my heartbeat, questions were asked, and then blood was taken. Thankfully the person taking the blood knew what she was doing. Another midwife stopped by to try and reassure me that it is for the best. I was attached to the monitor again.
In the meanwhile I had been gulping down Raspberry Leaf Tea - which midwives confirmed to me today that it does promote contractions. On the monitor, contractions kept getting recorded even though I didn't feel them.
Once the monitor was taken away, a second She-Doc offered to re-examine me and argue in my favour with Profs to get me the opportunity for natural birth.
Once she examined me though, she gave me the same Look. My heart sank even lower, if that is even possible. She still walked away to talk to Profs..
She returned a few moments later and said "I spoke to Profs. He said, and I quote, 'I don't want a dead baby.'" I shut up and nodded, admitting defeat. There isn't much I can say as a comeback. I don't want to risk any harm coming to Creature merely out of my stubbornness and wounded feminine ego.
I still am very pissed off about it all. I hate the pitiful worried looks I keep getting, or the fact that everyone keeps bugging me asking what's wrong, or trying to convince me there is a silver lining to it all. I appreciate it, but I'd rather everyone fucks off and leaves me be.
My mum decided to spend the night here with me. I wish she hadn't. I really would prefer to be on my own right now. I have to deal with this crappy situation my way, and I can't do so with people around me.
A blooming idiot of a He-Doc had to stick a Canula Needle in my arm so that a drip can be attached to it. He first poked my inner elbow and friggin wriggled the plastic tube inside my arm, poking the needle in and out of the plastic tube. He then tried to flush it, but it hurt. So he removed the tube and poked me a second time, this time on the back of my hand. Leading to my bleeding all over the bedsheets, down my fingers, and dripping on the floor. (See photo)
Oh, did I mention he seemed to have been a Michael Jackson fan? He did all of the above wearing just the ONE latex glove.
Once he fucked off, my mum, Rose, my elder sis and her boyfriend were having brief banter, until my cousin arrived for her night shift.
The drip thingy was attached to my hand, and I was then attached to the monitor again. No contractions showed up this time.
I am now trying to make the most of the remaining hour and a half or so left til midnight. I cannot eat or drink anything after that.
Anyway, that should be enough to bring you lot up to date for now.
At about 4am, someone knocked at my door. It was another patient. At first I thought I might have woken her up due to my playing music. Turns out she had been pacing the ward unable to sleep and noticed light coming from my room. It seems like I was the only other person in the ward to be awake. I invited her in for banter.
She was a year older than me, married, with a 1 and a half year old son. She hasn't been in Malta for long - she is originally from Libya. She was due to give birth at St James Hospital, but went into labour a month early and since they don't have incubators available, she came to Mater Dei instead. Her newborn son is currently in an incubator to get breathing assistance. She said that her husband and mother-in-law are going to be flying over today. We discussed the situation in Libya and the difference between the Community Hospital there, and over here.
We had banter for a while and she then went back to her room to try and get some rest. The rest of the night was spent downloading music and chatting.
Once dawn arrived, the ward came to life with Cleaning Ladies tidying up the rooms, the Food Lady taking orders, breakfast being fixed and so on and so forth.
I managed to snooze for half an hour before the Doctor came by - an Eastern European She-Doc - and she gave me a generic idea of what will be happening today. A midwife followed soon after and attached me to a monitor again.
She said that 4 patients checked in between last night and this morning. They already had about 7 deliveries schedules for today, so the delivery suite is packed full today.
Once the monitoring was over, I snoozed for about an hour and then my mum arrived and I got to go to get an Ultrasound done. Everything is fine with Creature - and I got shown his/her face in 4D and got given a snapshot of it! (See photo)
I can't wait to meet him/her in person!
When I got back to my room, I found Rose had arrived and set up the Altar. (See photo). The three of us are now just hanging out, talking, until it is time for the Doc to see me and check whether the Gel is required to start the induction.
The Gel's purpose is to help the cervix to "ripen" and soften so that it opens up bit by bit to allow the birth to happen.
Rose got me some Raspberry Leaf Tea, which is thought to assist labour and to reduce pain. We'll see if it really does speed up the process or not!
I'll update you some more later!
I managed to sleep an hour or two earlier, but now sleep seems to have disappeared from the menu.
I just realised that this might be the last chance I get to take a Belly Picture - so I did. (See photo)
My phone decided to stop picking up a good signal, meaning my internet is dying on me pretty much all the time. I wish it wouldn't as I'd like to browse a bit - need to do some research (for a change!)
Anyway, I'll post more updates later!
My cousin who is a midwife in this particular ward took my details and stuff and we were made to wait a bit in the kitchen until my room became available as a previous patient hadn't "checked out" as yet.
Fast forward an hour or so, and the room was ready. Some med students came into the room to attach the monitor that would show us any contractions, Creature's heartbeat, and Fetal Movements. (See pic)
My mum kept me company throughout it, and then left at about 1pm. I then nodded off for about an hour and a half, only to be woken up in a very confusing manner.
Some nurse or something opened the door to my room and went "Sinjura, se titqarben?" (Which translates to "Mrs, are you going to partake of the Holy Communion?") I stared at her blankly and when "Eh?" So she repeated the question. I stared at her blankly a while longer and said "Errr.. No." Thus, she left.
A she-doctor then came into the room to ask me a few questions and get me to sign a consent form for them to be able to commence the induction since it does mean that there would be a slightly increased chance of a C-Section being required. Paperwork sorted and questions answered, I was then visited again by my cousin. We had banter, and then she had to return back to her duties. After a few moments, a very good friend of mine - Rose - came over to visit.
we had banter and my cousin rejoined us a while later. Rose decided she wanted to get me some food, so she scurried off to go get me pizza. In the meanwhile, my bro and his fiancee arrived and they brought goodies with them. After about half an hour, my elder sis arrived as well, also bearing noms.
Rose then returned with pizza, and a short while later a couple of friends also came to visit, bringing even more noms! I now know that I won't be starving to death whilst I'm in hospital.
We had banter, and slowly they all began to disperse and head back home.
I now am on my own, ready to face the first night. There is a baby crying somewhere but it sounds more like a distressed kitten to me than a tiny hoomin. Maybe some mother had kittens.
Tomorrow, they will be starting the process. I will update the blog accordingly!