Friday, 27 January 2012

Breathe. Just Breathe.

Yet another sleepless night. Exactly a year ago, I also spent the whole night awake.  However, it was for different reasons.

On the 27th of January- a Thursday - 2011, I flew out to Manchester with Easyjet.  I was  about to meet up with a group of friends - some for the first time in person, others for the umpteenth time.  Either way, I was extremely excited about it.  I would get to be with a small part of my Bmod family for a few days!   I had been counting down the minutes to it happening - with a countdown clock on my laptop, and a countdown calendar on my desk at work. 

I nearly missed my flight since I was running late thanks to the buses, however I made it.  I landed in Manchester at about 9pm [UK time], and waited for Laura - my Partner In Crime, and Keiran - our Awesome History/Dr Who Nerd Friend,  to pick me up.  After a while, they got to the airport  and we set of for a road trip down to Banbury to pick up Jailbait Jack.  Fun times! We eventually managed  to get back to the Travelodge in Manchester [at about 1am], where I got to glomp everyone before we split up to go to our rooms.

Laura and I decided mischief was in order, so we at first ambushed our friends by managing to burst into their  rooms and unleashing our Pillow Fury on them before retreating back to our room.  Not having satisfied our need for mischief and catching up, we decided it would be a good idea to shave each other's hair in a mohawk.  So we did. 

Epic banter was had, and eventually we crashed for an hour before having to check out of our room to start making the journey over to the hostel where we'd be meeting up with even more friends.

Mohawks in progress!

Looking back, I am amazed at how much things have changed within a year. It was on that occasion that I met the ex.  Therefore, this means that it has been an exact year since Creature's journey into the world began - only, I didn't know it then.

Fast forward a year. I am now sitting at home, wasting time until it is a decent enough of an hour to make some phone calls.  It is currently 7am on a Saturday morning - way too early for most people to be awake unless they spent the night out and about.

Today is my last day of "freedom". Tomorrow I go into hospital, and life will change forever. I will walk out of that hospital no longer as just Rosalind- but as Rosalind, Creature's Mum.

Being the stresshead that I am, I have a lot left to be taken care of. I will probably be repacking my hospital bags today - and pester my siblings into trying out the whole installation of the car seat.  Then I need to sort out some bills, do dishes, sort out some laundry, go the the prenatal class, and tidy up the living room.  I've also got to pick a book to take with me to hospital, pack my camera [when I remember where I put it...], hunt for my mp3 player which I probably won't find, take out the garbage, and probably think of another million things that need to be done.

I hope I manage to find a couple of hours to just chill.  It would be nice to have a small break before facing the 'ordeal' of this huge change that is about to happen.

Whilst doing all of the above, I will be trying to ignore the fact  that soon enough, I will need to fight even harder against nicotine addiction since my quitting was motivated by the pregnancy so far... monetary motivation only works up to a certain extent since if someone offers me a cigarette I won't have any monetary repercussions to face.  I'll also be mentally trying to convince myself that everything  will work out one way or another and that if so many blooming idiots out there manage to raise a child successfully, I see no reason why I'll fail.

At times like these, I miss my Bmod family more than ever.  We've held each others' hand  on countless occasions - shared good times and bad times and helped one another cope with pain of different kinds. I miss my comfort blanky, and my partner in crime, and everyone else.

Bmod Manchester Meet-up Photoshoot by Keri Vegas - 29th January 2011

Some of my other Bmod Family @ Billings, Montana - SkinD 2011 by Jared Kerr [a.k.a. Spock]


  1. naw ros, i know we've never met, but i just wanna reach in thru my lap top and give ya a big hug! xoxox i'll be thinking of ya! <3

    Aussie Jess

  2. I wish so hard that all of the Bmod family could be there for you now! <3

  3. Good luck, I'm keeping you both in my thoughts! <3