See what love can do

*clears throat*

I ought to apologise for the long absence [once more] - life is so hectic nowadays! With all the juggling of work/home/other stuff that has been going on, I'm on the right path to joining the circus.

Morgan went through a rough patch health-wise.  On Thursday, the 16th of August, in the evening, she had relatively high fever.  She spent the night waking up every half an hour, screaming.  That was one hell of a long night.  In the morning, HSS and myself took her to hospital - where we ended up staying until the following Wednesday.  They did a chest x-ray, took some 9 vials of blood, also did a spinal tap, did a kidney ultrasound, took a urine sample, gave her antibiotics via IV every day, and Gods know what else.  They tested her for Meningitis - but thankfully that came back negative.

18 August 2012 - in hospital, starting the long path of recovery

I spent that quasi-week with her in hospital - and HSS was with us whenever he had a minute to spare.  He was amazing [still is, actually] and I count myself bloody lucky to have him in our lives.

17 August 2012 - Morgan had horrendously high fever still.  HSS seemed like a good place for her to crash :)

The day after being sent home, he took Morgan back to hospital for her last dose of IV antibiotics, after which they removed the cannula needle from her hand.  The day after that - Friday - we ended up going back to hospital with Morgan wheezing and struggling to breathe.  Turns out she had bronchitis.  Yay! We got back home at 4am-ish.  Dead on our feet doesn't even begin to describe how exhausted we all were.

She was on Ventolin and Rectodelt for the bronchitis, and Septrin for the infection which landed her in hospital in the first place.  She's still taking Septrin, as that saga isn't yet over.

They weren't sure if this was a simple UTI or a kidney infection - and there are a couple more tests to be done to ensure that both urethra and kidneys work as they should and haven't been damaged.  The reason she's still taking the antibiotics is that one of the tests involves them attaching a catheter to check her urethra.  This can sometimes lead to - wait for it! - an infection! Therefore, she is being kept on a low dosage of antibiotics as prevention.

She's happy as always - growing up way too quickly.  She has almost outgrown her 9-12m sized clothing and she's still 7 and a half months old!!

Whilst in hospital - she was crying because she wanted her bottle.  I had a problem with the bloody formula milk since they put her on lactose-free formula for a short while.  The lactose-free formula doesn't dissolve properly unless it is prepared with BOILING water.  What happens sit hat the nozzle of the bottle's dummy gets clogged, making it impossible - and hellishly frustrating - for Morgan to drink.  I kept switching dummies, washing them out and reapplying them.  I must've done this process at least 20 times! At one point she was babbling-whining, when all of a sudden I hear "Baba".

I was shocked.  I thought to myself it must be a coincidence and she didn't really mean it.  A couple of days later though - she said "Ba" on two separate occasions.  Every time, she was referring to the bottle.


I suppose that makes it Morgan's first word!

She hasn't said it - or anything else - since, as she seems to have decided that her main priority at the moment is getting from point A to point B.  She is commando-crawling, and stands up with minimal support for long periods of time.  She can also sit up unsupported for quite a long time, and is constantly reaching out for things - and for us to pick her up.


Things with HSS are good [to put it mildly] even though we don't get to spend that much time together for the time being.

Right now, I'm recovering from a small accident which saw his bike falling on my foot when we skidded [whilst almost stationary] just a corner away from home.  Yay for limping around!

Oh - Morgan is now also enjoying her food in a somewhat lumpy format.  It'd be the equivalent of mashed rather than liquidised food.  Her teeth haven't shown through yet but she is still teething like crazy.  I am guessing they'll all show up at once when they decide it is time.

I am aware it is yet a few months until her first birthday - but I'm trying to figure out what kind of celebratory actions we'll be holding for her - besides the quccija.  It is perplexing - organising a birthday party of sorts for a 1 year old.  Any suggestions are welcome!

Ah yes - today Morgan turned on the TV by herself.  She grabbed hold of the remote control, pointed it towards the TV and pressed the on/off button.  Smart girl! 

29 August 2012 - Playing Tug O' War with my elder sis using a wet wipe

Breathe. Just Breathe.

Yet another sleepless night. Exactly a year ago, I also spent the whole night awake.  However, it was for different reasons.


On the 27th of January- a Thursday - 2011, I flew out to Manchester with Easyjet.  I was  about to meet up with a group of friends - some for the first time in person, others for the umpteenth time.  Either way, I was extremely excited about it.  I would get to be with a small part of my Bmod family for a few days!   I had been counting down the minutes to it happening - with a countdown clock on my laptop, and a countdown calendar on my desk at work. 

I nearly missed my flight since I was running late thanks to the buses, however I made it.  I landed in Manchester at about 9pm [UK time], and waited for Laura - my Partner In Crime, and Keiran - our Awesome History/Dr Who Nerd Friend,  to pick me up.  After a while, they got to the airport  and we set of for a road trip down to Banbury to pick up Jailbait Jack.  Fun times! We eventually managed  to get back to the Travelodge in Manchester [at about 1am], where I got to glomp everyone before we split up to go to our rooms.

Laura and I decided mischief was in order, so we at first ambushed our friends by managing to burst into their  rooms and unleashing our Pillow Fury on them before retreating back to our room.  Not having satisfied our need for mischief and catching up, we decided it would be a good idea to shave each other's hair in a mohawk.  So we did. 


Epic banter was had, and eventually we crashed for an hour before having to check out of our room to start making the journey over to the hostel where we'd be meeting up with even more friends.

                       

Mohawks in progress!

Looking back, I am amazed at how much things have changed within a year. It was on that occasion that I met the ex.  Therefore, this means that it has been an exact year since Creature's journey into the world began - only, I didn't know it then.

Fast forward a year. I am now sitting at home, wasting time until it is a decent enough of an hour to make some phone calls.  It is currently 7am on a Saturday morning - way too early for most people to be awake unless they spent the night out and about.

Today is my last day of "freedom". Tomorrow I go into hospital, and life will change forever. I will walk out of that hospital no longer as just Rosalind- but as Rosalind, Creature's Mum.

Being the stresshead that I am, I have a lot left to be taken care of. I will probably be repacking my hospital bags today - and pester my siblings into trying out the whole installation of the car seat.  Then I need to sort out some bills, do dishes, sort out some laundry, go the the prenatal class, and tidy up the living room.  I've also got to pick a book to take with me to hospital, pack my camera [when I remember where I put it...], hunt for my mp3 player which I probably won't find, take out the garbage, and probably think of another million things that need to be done.

I hope I manage to find a couple of hours to just chill.  It would be nice to have a small break before facing the 'ordeal' of this huge change that is about to happen.

Whilst doing all of the above, I will be trying to ignore the fact  that soon enough, I will need to fight even harder against nicotine addiction since my quitting was motivated by the pregnancy so far... monetary motivation only works up to a certain extent since if someone offers me a cigarette I won't have any monetary repercussions to face.  I'll also be mentally trying to convince myself that everything  will work out one way or another and that if so many blooming idiots out there manage to raise a child successfully, I see no reason why I'll fail.

At times like these, I miss my Bmod family more than ever.  We've held each others' hand  on countless occasions - shared good times and bad times and helped one another cope with pain of different kinds. I miss my comfort blanky, and my partner in crime, and everyone else.

Bmod Manchester Meet-up Photoshoot by Keri Vegas - 29th January 2011

Some of my other Bmod Family @ Billings, Montana - SkinD 2011 by Jared Kerr [a.k.a. Spock]

The Wheel Keeps On Turning

As some of you may know, at the moment there is a bit of a chaotic situation happening within my family healthwise.  I really think the hospital should assign us a room to pitch a tent in and save us the trouble of coming and going there on a regular basis.

My grandmother was released from hospital 3 days ago after being there for about 10 days due to her doctor's suspicions  that she might be having early signs of renal failure and/or gastric issues.  She wasn't able to take any of her meds for a while as she couldn't hold anything she's ingest down.  At hospital they put her on intravenous medications and she responded to treatment very quickly. 

The issue is this - since being sent back home, she went back to square one.  Meaning, this evening, she got referred back to hospital by her doc.  She is currently laying on a stretcher in the Emergency Room with my mum to keep her company, waiting for a bed to be assigned to her and for more tests to be carried out.

This year is a year of radical changes within my family.  Not only is Creature due any minute now, but my brother is also getting married later on in the year.  These are both events that my Gran is really looking forward to.

Knowing how her health is failing her lately, it does make me wonder whether she will be around to witness these two events. As bad as this may sound, I am making a conscious effort to keep in mind that everyone is here on borrowed time, and that at 82years of age, she has had a good long life.  Kinda trying to prepare myself for the inevitable, since it must happen sooner or later.  I can only hope that it will be later though.

It also makes me wish for Creature to be born sooner, just to make sure she gets to meet him/her. Few people get to meet their great-grandchildren. I'd like her to be one of those few.

Why my friends are cooler than yours

As I've mentioned in a previous blog, Bmod people are awesome!

Since Creature is a Bmod Baby [i.e. conceived by two Bmod members who actually met at a Bmod Official event], s/he has been treated as such from Day 1.  Seriously.  To most people, a Baby Bump is just that. The baby huddled up inside seems  to be an abstract entity... whereas the mother-to-be becomes a Uterus On Legs.

When it comes to Creature though, Bmodders have universally adopted an approach of addressing him/her separately to myself, and the excitement levels of us meeting in person, and them meeting Creature,are completely separate too.I consider that to be pretty damn awesome!


In the meanwhile, quite a few friends have been sending gifts for Creature. They are very much appreciated!   I don't have photos of every single gift at the moment, so I'll just include a couple.

Awesome Pirate Quilt by Cap'n Eui

Punny and geeky clothing from Kyrie & Andy

Serious thought has been put after each and every gift - which makes it even more amazing.  I love that Creature is so well-loved already.  I can't wait til the two of us get to travel and meet our Bmod family!

The Baby Shower Chronicles: Part 2

6pm, and I am alone.  It has been a long day, but an enjoyable one indeed.  Out of the friends I had invited, only 2 managed to make it - some had other plans,others had to work,others still were poorly or hungover.  Quality over quantity is the way to go though! So, it was just myself, my elder sis,my mum, my future sis-in-law, and a couple of friends.

My sis went through  the trouble of making - yes, making, not buying - a Nappy Cake [with her boyfriend's assistance - so a big thank you goes to him too!], and his sister did an awesome job at making the cake!  She also did orgasmic cake lollipops which everyone loved.  Having less people attend meant more cake for us all. YAY!

Courtesy of Little Mama's Cakes

Once everyone arrived, we all chilled in the living room, talking and having generic banter whilst making sure our stomachs were appeased.  At one point.one of my friends decided we should play a game and see if we can guess my circumference by means of a string cut at the appropriate length. Not having string at hand,we used wool instead. It turned out that I overestimated myself and cut a piece that was way longer! My mother, on the other hand,got extremely close to guessing the correct measurement. I guess she had enough training over the years, whats with buying clothes for me without my being there.

The game was followed by another guessing game- this time, to try and figure out Cartoons Theme songs ranging from the 80s up until today. Needless to say, I did well where the 80s were involved but sucked at modern day cartoons.

Even more banter was had, during which we were discussing names and how inconsiderate it is for parents to go for certain names which provoke bullying.

This is the playlist I created for the occasion:


All in all, it was good fun! When we cut the cake open, a surprise awaited us!

RAINBOW! I love rainbows! The Amazing Amanda [the mastermind behind Little Mama's Cakes] actually baked each coloured layer separately. Truly, she is one of those women that all other women secretly hate for her talent, and yet can't help but commissioning her to cater for their special occasions because her cakes are so scrumptious.

Cake was had with even more banter, this time, discussing the hawtness that is Edward Norton, and the success Thor had with the generic female population the moment his shirt came off.  Robert Downey Jr was also drooled over,obviously!  Yes - we were discussing the up and coming Avengers Movie. That will be one occasion I'll have to get someone to babysit Creature for.

Not my cup of tea, but anyway.

Eventually, it was getting late for everyone, and I was exhausted.  Everyone helped with tidying up, the cake was split in generous portions for people to take home with them, and we all parted ways.

Good times!

Like parent, like child

A few days ago, I was talking to an old friend of mine and the subject of certain inclinations running in the family came up.  Within the Pagan Community, it is a topic that comes up quite regularly, where people claim they're 2nd, 3rd, 12th or whatever generation Witches within their family.

To be fair, I can understand one's scepticism and would agree that to a certain degree, the nurturing and upbringing of a childcan determine what areas of interest they might be inclined towards.  However, there is also the nature aspect to be considered in all this.


I've already mentioned the Nurture vs Nature subject in this previous blog, but I wished to add a little something to it.  Something which supports the validity of the topic at hand.

Namely, this article.

It isn't the first time a similar episode is encountered - be it in fictitious  or factual situations.  Gods know how many TV serieses or movies we've watched where a long lost child is reunited with their parent[s]/sibling[s]/relative[s] only to discover that there is a plethora of traits and areas of interest they have in common.  This, in spite of never having had the opportunity to be exposed to the external influence of the long lost parent[s]/sibling[s]/relative[s].

That, to me, is a +1 towards validating the Nature vs Nurture topic.

Who's your daddy?

Usually in my blogs, I tend to share information.  Today, I'm asking for information.

I was brought up within the traditional family model - mother, father, siblings, and a dog.  That family model nowadays is becoming more and more uncommon.  You have single parents, no parents whatsoever, two mums, two dads, step-parents etc etc.  Previously these different Family Models were pretty uncommon.  For a parent to be a single parent, usually they'd need to be widowed back then.

I now find myself facing single parenthood myself.  I can't help but think, "How will I explain to Creature why other children have two parents, and s/he doesn't?" or "How will I manage to deal with things such as Father's Day, or compositions given at school entitled "My Father"?"  What about the real possibility of bullying?  There are so many questions to which I don't yet have an answer! I know that I cannot have an answer for everything - and yet, it doesn't stop me from trying.

I know these things are a few years away, however the reality of the situation is as it is, and the sooner I come up with a vague outline of a plan, the better. 

So - what can you lot tell me? Any advice? Besides from not stressing out, that is - I appreciate it, but your telling me not to stress out won't make a difference.

Can you do me a favour?

I hate having to rely on people.  I always have hated it.  I would much rather do my own thing, and whatever outcome it leads to, it'll be my fault/thanks to me. 

I have been living on my own for around 5 -6 years now.  I grew accustomed to coming home to peace and quiet after a long day of work with no one to nag at me, or to throw drama all over the place.

The day I told my family I was pregnant, things changed.  As time went by, I had to start asking people for favours, to help me out in doing this and that - things that I normally would do myself.  Let me tell you - it is bloody frustrating.  Especially when you get a "sure I'll help" and then they either cancel on you several times, or they never show up....  or show up late without having warned you that they are running late.  Sitting and waiting for whoever it is to show up, so that you can get whatever it is done is infuriating.

Not to mention the phone calls. Pre-pregnancy, I might have spoken to my mum for a maximum of once or twice a week.  Now, it is once or twice a day.  Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about her caring.  I will probably be way worse than her, were I in her shoes.  But - sometimes I just want to be left in peace, rather than being woken up by my Morning-Person-Mum who is listing stuff to me that I'm expected to remember. 

I look forward to the day where I get left in peace again.  That will probably be the day my child will start complaining about me.

It's the final countdown!

At almost 35 weeks down the line, I'm more concerned with my personal countdown rather than the NYE one.  I'm afraid my plans for NYE will involve plenty of rest and watching a movie or ten on my laptop - and that is probably going to be the plan for the next few years.

Today I had my fortnightly doc's appointment, where I found out some interesting stuff.  First of all, I was quite pleased to discover that my weight dropped by 300 grams rather than increasing, since 2 weeks ago.  This means that since the beginning of my pregnancy, I've gained a total of 8 kilos.  Yay!  Blood pressure and everything else was ok.


When it was time to have the ultrasound scan, Doc said he is pleased with my weight and that all the meat substitutes [since I'm Pescatarian] I'm eating must be doing the trick as Creature is growing perfectly - and is actually a bit advanced! "How did the doc know?" you might ask me.


When an ultrasound scan is carried out, the ultrasound technician/doctor carrying out the scan will take various measurements of different body parts.  The machine they use will give the measurements and associate them with the progress of the pregnancy weeks-wise.

  The first measurement that is taken is called the Biparietal Diameter [BPD] which is the diameter across the developing baby's skull, from one parietal bone to the other.  Creature's BPD today was that of 9.77cm - which is 40 weeks' dimension.

It is big for  a reason!

The second measurement to be taken is the Abdominal Circumference  [AC] - pretty self-explanatory, really - which is the single most important measurement in assessing foetal size and growth.  It is important that this measurement is taken as accurately as possible.  Severe intrauterine growth retardation can be missed if the AC is not measured. Creature's AC today was measured to be 32.42cm - which is usually associated with a 36 week 2 day foetal age.

Last but not least, the Femur Length [FL] is measured.  If you're not too familiar with your bone structure, the femur is basically your thighbone.  Creature's FL today measured at 7.08cm - which is also considered to indicate a foetal age of 36 weeks 2 days usually.

This basically means that Creature is going to be a brainy, tall, round-bellied individual!

As an additional piece of info for you lot, here's a glossary of the most common pregnancy-related terms.  It may help you understand better what doctors and midwives and pregnancy-related literature are going on about.

My family are convinced Creature  will be born preterm because of his/her size.  I feel like a ticking time bomb right now.  Everyone is stressing out about my needing to have everything ready, just in case.  To be honest, I've got most stuff prepared - the rest, I'm guilty of procrastinating.  We'll see what happens.  In the meanwhile, I'll ignore their buggering and badgering and just take things day by day.