Monday, 2 January 2012

What a shitty situation!

"Oh shit."

Probably one of the most overused phrases in this day and age.

Gods know how many times it has been uttered so far throughout my lifetimes.  Come to think of it, there are quite a lot of fecal references in popular expressions - "Same Shit Different Day" "I feel like crap" "Shit happens" "Bullshit!" and so on and so forth.

Well, shit will be happening, I'm afraid.In copious amounts, and at the least convenient of times.  Such a labour, for example.

During a pre-natal class, the midwife was describing the various bits and pieces that will get attached to you, including a catheter.  There was mention of labour possibly taking hours - and in my head I couldn't help but wonder "So the catheter takes care of your needing to pee... but after spending hours pushing your guts out, who is to say you won't end up pooping the bed you're on?"  A disgusting thought, sure.  But a realistic one,  You can't really do anything other than push and push and then push it some more. A-la-la-la-la-long a-la-la-la-la-long long li long long long!  Err. Sorry about that. Momentarily got distracted!

Had to get this out of the way.

 Anyway.  Back to this crappy topic. 

I started doing some research about what can be done to minimise the chances of any 'accidents' happening during childbirth, and the first answers I came across weren't reassuring at all.  Most forums just had an "oh don't you worry about it, the medical staff is used to it and you will be too busy otherwise to be embarrassed" kind of approach.

Others seemed to imply that your body goes through this massive bowel evacuation movement a few days before labour.  Others still advised to switch to liquids and watery soups the moment you notice you're about to go into labour to ensure that you evacuate the pipes before it is too late.

Nope, still  not a satisfactory answer to me.

I also stumbled across someone mentioning Castor Oil.  Upon looking this up, it turns out that it is believed Castor Oil can help induce labour if Baby is overdue.  And this is done by triggering bowel cramps, thus making it an effective laxative.  Upon reading further though, it turns out that Castor Oil can cause - and I quote - " painful cramps, fecal incontinence and explosive diarrhoea. Its action can go on for hours, sometimes unpredictably and powerfully causing an involuntary bowel movement at inconvenient locations and during sleep" [quoted from Wikipedia].  As effective as it may be, I'd rather not risk it. 

Now I'm aware that different countries might vary slightly in their methods, so I decided to ask some local friends of mine who work in the medical industry.  It has been confirmed to me that an enema is given to minimise the chances of things  getting pretty stinky. Awesome! That has  taken a shitload of concern off my mind.

A by-product possibility of labour is piles.  A nurse friend of mine suggested to pack some piles cream in advance, just in case.

Once labour is over and done with, and Baby is born, it will be his/her shit you will have to put up with.  Surprisingly enough, Baby Poo comes in a wide variety of colour, textures and smells.  Yes, disturbing, and revolting.  But, the next few years of your [and my] life will be so full of it that I needed to know the differences to be able to tell if something is wrong or not.  Google, my old friend, helped me out with that.  Here is a guide to different Baby Poo - opt for text-only, or full-blown visuals!  Enjoy!



    i knew it was going too be bad so why for the love of god did i do it>?!@

  2. Hahahahaha to amuse me with your reaction? :D *pats head* At least you've only had to deal with the visuals - I will shortly have to deal with the stench too haha

  3. enemas are only given when you are induced my dear hehe not if you come already in labour. other than that always eat plenty of fruit and veg to make sure you are not constipated, and let the midwife do the rest! and as it happens all the time, yes we are actually used to it, but it doesnt mean its any less gross either :P its just something that cannot really be helped!

  4. I'm guessing "Ah crap" would be an appropriate response lol. We'll have to hope for ze best!

  5. There's no doubt about it, you will poo. And you won't care because you won't even notice it. I totally forgot about the whole pooping'while'birthing thing, until after I had Brandon and I was told while I was in the birthing pool, doing my thing, a tiny bit of poo squeezed out and floated around me HAHA! They scooped it out with one of those bowls your sick in and binned it, funniest thing ever