Mum's the word, they say

I hope all mothers out there had a brilliant Mother's Day!

In all honesty, I don't appreciate the occasion myself.  Why limit yourself to just one day a year where you show someone you care?  My first Mother's Day was nothing short of ordinary.  It still involved nappies and bottles and baby drool.  I see love in my daughter's eyes every day, so at this present moment in time "Mother's Day" is merely an insignificant phrase.

As HSS pointed out, the moment Morgan gives me some Mother's Day gift, my heart will probably melt and I'll start appreciating the 'holiday'.

So yeah, anyway.

Things are proceeding well.  With HSS, everything is going smoothly and I'm happy.  I have Morgan, and I have HSS - I want nothing more.

Today, I'm meant to receive a phone call form work regarding my return.  I'm hoping it happens earlier in the day rather than later so that I won't have to wait around.  Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly!

So, updates where Morgan is concerned.

On Saturday afternoon, she went out ON HER OWN for the first time.

My parents took her to Valletta with them.  I was so nervous about it! They got there and back by bus, so I was concerned that the pram might topple over at any point if they didn't manage to hold it properly.  Apparently, everything went well and my dad held Morgan for about 10 seconds for the first time.  When I was told he panicked, I couldn't help but laugh at the idea of a grown man not knowing what to do when faced with amusing a child.

Morgan also had her FIRST SLEEPOVER without me on that same day!  Since it was Date Night, and my mum and grandma hadn't seen Morgan in quite a few days, I agreed to have my mum babysit rather than a friend.  This meant that I could find some time to tidy up the house and not worry about having to get home early enough to have a decent night's sleep [or rather, attempted decent night's sleep] since I didn't have to wake up for the first bottle of the day.

All went well thankfully. 

I missed her sorely though.  The house isn't a home without her.  It was way too quiet - in spite of her being a quiet baby.  I missed her tiny nose snoring the night away and her occasional whimpering.

At one point, my brain kicked into Mummy-mode without me realising it.  As I was talking to HSS, he yawned and my hand automatically shot out and covered his mouth - just like I do to Morgan.  We both burst out laughing and he started going through all the things I tend to tell Morgan whenever she yawns and I try to convince her to make sounds whilst I tap her mouth.  

Now, I'm off to face the day.  Coffee summons!

Guten Morgan :D 14th May 2012

A Date with Destiny

Today will be one hell of a long day.  After managing to grab 4 hours' worth of sleep, I'm trying to convince myself I should take it easy and not do much, since I have a good 7 to 8 hours away from home later on.  My poor back will be the one to suffer the most I'm afraid!


So, today will involve a doctor's appointment, which might very well be the last one - who knows?  This will then be followed by another Prenatal class.

The thought that this might be the last time I see Creature on the ultrasound machine's monitor is sad, exciting, unnerving and extremely pleasant at the same time.  Our next encounter might very well be a face-to-face meeting!


Imagine you've been set up for a blind date with the one person you know is The One, by the most amazing of circumstances.  However the date was agreed to happen in 9 months' time.  In the meanwhile, you haven't had any direct contact with your Date.  You've had people telling you things about him/her, you've done your research based on the information given to you, as well as some research based on "what if" scenarios.

You've finally gained quite a bit of theoretical confidence - on paper, you know all there is to know for this Blind Date to be successful.  You know that you've taken care of everything within your power to ensure it works out.  And yet, you're aware that not everything is within your power - there may be external influences that determine how well the evening will turn out.

"What if s/he doesn't like me?"

That, is probably the biggest fear of them all.  Can you feel the butterflies fluttering about in your stomach? The sweaty palms of your hands, the threat hanging over your head that your voice might break up or that you'll say the right thing at the wrong time - or the wrong thing at the right time.

Now picture this - you arrive at the agreed location to meet your date..... but you're early.  How do you feel? Nerve wrecking, isn't it?


Now... amplify all that nervousness, uncertainty, doubts, anticipation, excitement..... amplify it all by a gazillion times.

You are still nowhere close enough to understanding what being so close to meeting Creature in person feels like.


As much as I truly appreciate the support people have been showing, and their confidence in my abilities to be a good mother - the judge of it all, at the end of the day, will be Creature.  For what might be the first time in my life, I actually care what someone else thinks of me. 


I'd like to make it clear that I'm not looking for any pity, nor am I fishing for compliments.  I'm just being honest in saying that being so close to the finishing line and making the transition from Pregnant Woman to Mother scares the living crap out of me. I don't believe it gets easier with time - human relationships rarely do... and I suck at them heh.  I can only hope that Creature and I will have compatible characters, and that when the day comes where we'll be arguing and s/he yells at me how much I suck as a mother and how much s/he hates me... well.. I hope that I will have done every possible thing within my power to be able to accept those words as bullshit spewed in anger.

Ground control to Major Ros

As a goodnight post, I'll just give you a few updates from my end, for a change.


It is now officially less than a month left to go.  Creature is due in the week commencing 5th of February.  Having said that, I might pop anytime now.  The house is still not babyproofed 100%, but it is getting there.  Thanks to my future sister-in law, I got quite a bit done today, including moving around some furniture to make sure I'll be able to wheel in and out the pram.

I'm more tired than ever with really bad bouts of insomnia, as you could've guessed by my frequent middle-of-the-night entries.  My back is killing me, and it is suddenly becoming more and more real.  Soon enough, even running a simple errand will need to be planned for in advance.  Stress levels are higher than ever, obviously.  I try to juggle everything, and hope for the best.

What else can I tell you? Hmmm... I don't know really. Every day is pretty much the same as the previous one.  If there is anything you'd like to ask, feel free to post your questions - or comments as desired.

I do wish to thank everyone for their support.  Yesterday was one hell of a busy day for the blog!  It has had the highest number of hits so far - 283 visits - from quite a variety of countries including Russia, Malta, UK, USA, France, Germany, Netherlands, Australia, Ukraine, Italy and a handful more!  I keep getting people commenting not just on here, but also via Facebook and Bodymod as well.  Everyone is being rather encouraging and supportive!  Even seeing visits, day after day, coming from the same countries - it makes me happy to think that you lot take the time to read my inane ramblings.  So thankies!!

I'll get back on track with the blog later - for tonight, that is about it.


Toodles! <3