Winds of change

Knock knock!

Anyone home?

Sorry guys, I know I promised I'd update before the weekend was over, and I haven't.


I've had complaints for not blogging lately - my sincere apologies! Life got in the way.

Since too many days have gone by, I'm unable to do a day-by-day breakdown at this point in time since things are a bit hazy.

All you lot need to know is this:

Following the blog were I left off with saying I was going to go out in the evening, and red shoes had been unexpectedly acquired, things have changed. A LOT.

Guess who's in a relationship?

Yep.

This Mama here has found herself a Homo Sapiens Specimen willing to put up with her insane ramblings and silliness and constant worries about Morgan.  Said HSS has already made an appearance in past blogs under the guise of a very good friend - namely in my entry about how a friend took ~Morgan and myself to hospital for her Chromosome count, or the one where a friend of mine was discussing Asperger's and Autism with me.  This HSS here has been there for me from day 1 of my knowing him - which was whilst I was still 6-ish months pregnant.  He was the one to take the trouble to install Linux on a pc, set up an FTP server on it, upload all of his music, and link me to it just so that I could download a handful of tunes to my phone whilst in hospital awaiting Morgan's birth to happen.

We talk a lot - and he knows Morgan will forever be my number one priority - and he is fine with that [as it should be].  He is also aware that after having been screwed over in the past, I need to take things slow - and he is fine with that too.  In a way, I feel as if I'm dating for the first time ever.

I have no idea how I'll juggle Work, Parenthood and Dating once I'm back to work to be honest - I'll figure it out somehow.  Surely I am not the first person to have to strike such a balance!

Oh, and HSS has also decided I need to learn how to drive.  So far, we've survived the first lesson in one piece.  If everything goes well, in about a year's time I might be officially a Menace Behind The Wheel and one of them Infamous Female Drivers.  Hopefully, with better skills than most.  And eventually, with a VW Beetle to call my own.

So - an incident where I screwed up royally last week:

I took the garbage out, and for once I forgot my phone and key inside.  BAM! The door slammed shut - locking me OUT and Morgan IN.  PANIC!

I rushed up and down the stairs leading to my upstairs neighbours' house twice in a frenzy trying to figure out what the hell I was meant to do.  A guy owning a garage across the street saw me panic and came over to ask what's up.  I told him I had been locked out and my daughter was inside.  He lent me his phone whereby I called my bro, asked him to log into my Facebook account and look for someone who knew my friend Rose's number as she had my spare key due to having been over at my house for a few days that week.  Eventually, he managed, and agreed to go pick up the key from her workplace.  Luckily I had already made plans with my bro's fiancee to come over for lunch - meaning she got here after about 15 minutes of my having been locked out, and she kept me company.

It took some hour or so until my bro, my mum, Rose and her son showed up - way more panicked than me - with my key.  The moment I opened the door I rushed to the kitchen where I found Morgan sitting quietly in her Rocker, waiting for me.

Yo! [4th May 2012]

As you can see in the above pic, Morgan is finally big enough to wear the Batman long sleeved top that my  friends Andy and Kyrie had sent her! She's now wearing 3-6month sized clothes, and they fit her like a glove.  Having said that, she's wearing just her onesies most of the time as the weather is starting to get too warm.

Oh, and last week, Morgan got given the cutest outfit ever that belonged to another Fae child called Faith.  Here's a couple of pics:

My Morgan The Fae with Rose :) 29th April 2012

My Ginger Faerie :) 29th April 2012

Oh, and just in case you were wondering about HSS - here is pictoral evidence of his existence:

I admit, part of the reason I was not blogging is that I originally created this blog as a place to vent whatever was on my mind.  Since he reads the blog, I wasn't about to post my internal conflict as to whether I'm better off preserving the friendship or attempt taking it a step further.  I'd have needed to keep it generic which would have probably proved to have adverse effects on it all.

My internal conflict consisted of the following - is it too early to date?  On the one hand, I've been dumped back in September by Morgan's sperm donor.  That's about 9 months ago more or less.  On the other hand. she is just 3 and a half months old.  Being a Single Parent is confusing, I must say.

I've met a lot of raised eyebrows - some people seem to think I'm a bad mum for wanting to give it a shot with someone who seems genuine.  They seem to think I ought to lock myself up and throw away the key and just be a 24/7 mum and nothing more.  It also seems to be beyond their comprehension how on Earth I can have a Date Night once a week, and still be a good mother.   I've also had people coming close to calling me a whore and accusing me of dating this guy and that guy.

Honestly? Fuck the whole lot of judgemental pricks.

Once you stop being shocked, read on, and you'll understand where I'm coming from.

Being a Single Parent means you don't have the luxury of having a partner to walk life's journey with you.  It means walking down the street pushing the pram/pushchair on your own whilst seeing other families walk by.  You get used to it, but it never stops hurting.  It also means that you have to do ALL of the parenting on your own without being able to vent about the rough patches to someone who'd know exactly what you're going on about.  Yes, there are friends.  But friends and a partner are not one and the same thing support-wise.

Yes, I'm also going to go there and point to the Elephant In The Room by mentioning that albeit it might suffer a lot, non-Single Parents also have the luxury of having a sex lfie, and a cuddle buddy.  Single Parents don't.


I fail to see how wanting to have someone in your life makes you a bad person.  Yes, you need to keep your priorities straight and you do need to be careful who you let in as they'll be part of your and your child's life.  You need to hone your communication skills and tell things exactly as they are to ensure you're all on the same page at any given point in time.

To conclude, I'll leave you with this:

I'm happy, Morgan's happy, We're all happy.  That is all that matters.

Three Days' Grace

This entry will cover 3 days.

4th April 2012:

So, I won't be writing about what's going through my mind right now or I'll start sounding like a broken record.  [Yes, still thinking about the return to work thingy].

OK fine, I'll write some more about it whilst my food is done cooking [mmmmmm pasties].  I did some reading up on Separation Anxiety and it seems like the vast majority of articles I came across focus on the kind of Separation Anxiety children tend to feel when they have finally realised that they are a separate person from their primary carer.  This is caused by their lack of understanding of the concept of time.  If they don't see their primary carer, they end up not knowing if or when s/he'll come back.  This is what causes them to panic and be anxious about it.

There is little out there about how parents are meant to cope with it when they are the one experiencing the anxiety.  All I kept reading was "don't worry too much" or "don't feel guilty" bla bla bla.  It is one thing to say it, and a completely different thing to be able to do it.  I suspect they don't delve much into it so as not to tell you how awful it really can be.

*sniffs the air* mmmmmm pasties.

OK, where was I?  Ah yes.

I am now waiting to find out what shifts I'll be working to try and figure out how the heck I'm going to manage being a Working Single Parent.

I'm told that stay-at-home mums end up regretting staying at home as the lack of adult company drives them crazy.  I would rather experience that than miss out on my daughter's childhood.  Ah well, I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side.  *insert Stoner puns here*

Heh, sorry. Although I don't smoke pot myself, I can't help but think of it whenever that expression is used.

Anyway.

Right now, I'm focusing a lot on the Pagan Mama facebook group as it is allowing me to do some reading up and discuss topics related to both Parenting and Paganism with others in similar situations as I am.  It also helps me create and find information that is easily accessible to children - which I'm keeping on file for Morgan.

Yesterday I started framing the Faerie Oracle deck so that eventually I'll hang up all 66 frames in Morgan's room.  Well, 65, perhaps.  The first card is left blank for the person owning the deck to draw their own Faerie Guide.  I may keep that for Morgan to doodle when she's a bit older.

Yesterday it was relatively uneventful.  I tidied up, I spent time with Morgan. We played, we watched the first episode of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys together, and then we went for coffee with my mum.

I also got this Plaster of Paris kit for her with a Fairy Mirror mold and a Fairy Name Plate mold for her.  I will look into them at a later date though.

Oh, and the washing machine repair dude came over and fixed it for me.  Turns out a Colour Catcher sheet got stuck in the filter.  Oops!  That's what I get for trying to be economical and eco-friendly I guess!  Needless to say, I then switched myself on to Laundry Mode.

My mum got Morgan a couple of board books,and a deck of flashcards in Maltese.  They will come in handy as it is somewhat difficult to find interesting books in Maltese.

6th April 2012:
On Wednesday, I baked Sugar Cookies. I'm lucky if there was 1 that turned out round.  They were edible though.  And no one died of food poisoning.  Yesterday [Thursday], Morgan and I spent a pretty relaxed day.  I swept the floors, tidied up, and cleaned up the house as much as possible whilst battling the ants that decided to show up overnight.  We played, listened to music, watched The Lorax online, and she napped quite a bit.

I set up 3 altars - one dedicated to the Maiden,the other to the Mother, and the last to the Crone.  At about 6pm, friends started to show up.  We were 7 in total - including Morgan and myself - and we celebrated the [almost] full moon, had banter, ate and drank.  When they left, my fridge had more stuff in it than what it had before they came over!


Once everyone left, I fed Morgan her last bottle of the day, and put her to bed.  I joined her soon after.  I had aa pretty crappy night's sleep - was still stressing out over the work thingy, so I kept waking up.  Seems like insomnia is making a harsh comeback now that I'm really stressing out over something. Yay!


At around 6am, Morgan woke me up to clean her up and feed her, and she went back to sleep soon after.  I did some housechores, and managed to cut her fingernails as she slept.  Once it was time for her next feed, I called my mum and we agreed to meet up and go for a walk by the seaside with Morgan. Bad idea.  Not even 5 minutes into it,I got a splitting headache that turned into a migraine.  That is what I get for going out in direct sunlight.  I swear I was born in the wrong country.


I was really annoyed at this place where we went to grab a bite.  They expect children to show up at their food outlet.  The highchair in the corner was proof of that.  And yet, the entrance to their shop has no ramp, and they have no flipping baby changer meaning I had to change Morgan's poopy nappy in her pram, with people eating a couple of tables away from the most remote corner I could find.  Argh!!!  It was really awkward.  I know I won't be returning any time soon.


Once we left, we went over to my Grandma's, fed Morgan, tried to have a nap to get rid of the migraine, and then came back home.  Migraine  is still pestering me - it is currently 11:36pm.  Hopefully it will leave by morning.

Morgan & myself @ B'bugia [06/04/2012]

We don't need no education... Or do we?

Yet another insomniac night, I'm afraid! Since I have had quite a productive day yesterday, I figured I would carry on being productive all night long, too.  My focus? Childcare.

I have mentioned in a previous blog that it is important to have back-up plans sorted out way in advance - especially when you're a Single Parent.  Even if you have no intention of signing up your child to a Childcare Centre, scout the options out there. You never know what you might require.

First things first
When it comes to Childcare, there are actual National Standards for Child Day Care Facilities which have been issued back in 2006 by the Government.  You can clicky here for the English version, or here for the Maltese version.

By familiarising yourself with these standards, you will be able to understand better what constitutes a good childcare centre, and what doesn't.  It will also set your expectations in a realistic manner.

Provisionally Registered Childcare Facilities
"What does this mean exactly?" you'll be wondering.


It basically means that the Department of Social Welfare Standards carries out an assessment of the Centre to outline what areas are compliant to the National Standards, and which areas require further development.  The Centre then commits to working on the areas requiring development so as to become fully compliant. All facilities which have been granted with this certificate are obliged to display it in a prominent place within the facility. Failure to comply with the conditions of the agreement will result in the withdrawal of the certificate of Provisional Registration.

The entire list of provisionally registered facilities is available here.


Know your rights
Whilst doing my research, I came across the following Q&A from the Frequently Asked Questions on the DSWS's website:

"Q: ARE THERE ANY INCENTIVES FOR PARENTS WHO SEND THEIR CHILDREN TO PROVISIONALLY REGISTERED CHILD DAY CARE FACILITIES?

A: First and foremost, parents who choose Provisionally Registered Child Day Care Facilities for their children have an assurance that the facility is striving to operate according to a set of established standards in the best interest of their children.

In addition, these parents would also be eligible for a tax rebate calculated upon their taxable income less a maximum of €1000 for each child. Further information can be obtained from the Department of Inland Revenue or by clicking here."

2Tax Rebate? Interesting!" I thought to myself.  Off I went to the Inland Revenue & Customs website to get more information about it.  I couldn't find the information at first, and their not having a search function made me grumble quite a bit.  Until it happened - I found it!


If you clicky here, the booklet on how to fill in the Tax Returns form comes up.  On Page 19, it is explained in detail as to what this Tax Rebate involves and whatnot.  Another interesting thing I noticed [Page 6] was this: Single Parents' Tax Status changes to match that of Married couples! I was unaware of it.  This is why doing your homework is vital - no one gives you this information unless you ask for it.  These are all things that work in your favour - so make sure you make the most out of them!

There is a list of Childcare Centres on Pages 34 & 35 and a list of Private Independent Nurseries & Schools on Page 37. On Page 40 you'll find a list of what Tax Rates are applicable to you.

[p.s. Whenever I say page, I mean the PDF page number, not the one printed on the actual booklet pages themselves.]

The Next Steps
That would be making contact with Childcare Centres in your desired locations. In my case, I've located two Centres just a few streets away from my place.  I have sent off an email requesting an appointment with a brief explanation of what I'm looking for, what my restrictions are, and that it will be a few months before I potentially contact them again to register Creature.

The sooner you take such steps, the better.  Once Baby is born, you will have so much to juggle that you'll be thankful for any things which were planned in advance.

I will report back with updates undoubtedly in the near future!

Three is not a crowd.

"Shoot me if you see me falling for another one again, will you?"

How many times have you said something along those lines to your confidante after Yet Another Failed Relationship?

"Never again!"

I lost count of how many times I've said it myself.  There tends to be a mutual agreement - which tends to smell of lemons - between myself and another close friend that if we notice that the other is falling for it again, we'll do whatever it takes to stop them whilst there is still time.

"Lemons?" you're probably wondering.

Yep. Big bitter ones.

Sorry, bad joke, I know. It is what I'm good at.

 Anyway.  Back to the topic at hand.


After my last relationship fell through, I've had a lot of people show concern and being supportive, and for that I'm thankful.  I happen to be at a stage in life where everyone and their sister seems to be sprouting kidlets - so needless to say, quite a few friends of mine could relate to what I was going through, what worries I may have had, what difficulties I was, am or will be facing, and so on and so forth.

A dear friend of mine who is like a sister to me, and is nowadays a Single Mum, called me to say her 11 year old son - whom I've known since he was 2 years of age - wished to speak to me.  This boy told me "Don't worry. It is for the best.  It will be better for Creature to grow up with just you rather than have to go through  parental arguments and clashes.  That is all I remember from when I was younger - my parents fighting all the time, and it wasn't nice."

Being told these words by a child made me tear up even more, because I recognised the truth behind them.  As tough as it may be, if the relationship isn't working, it will do more harm than good to stick together "for the kid[s]".

All the Single Parents I've spoken to so far have all said the same thing - you will always have lingering feelings for the Absent Parent, purely because they allowed you to have your child.  The temptation to give in and attempt a 2nd, 3rd, 4th or even 20th shot at making things work with the Ex will be there for a very long time - however as with all relationships, keep in mind that there was a very good reason for it to have ended.  Don't allow nostalgia to get to you - it tends to make you remember only the good times and forget the bad times.  Both kinds of experiences are equally important.

Nowadays, I know that if I were to attempt a relationship again, it will be much more difficult.  I'm no longer single.  My official title is not Single Mother.  See? The title itself says it all. I'm double, not single.  I come as a package deal, not a standalone product.  I have to evaluate the Potential Datee well before I go for it, and bring Creature first and foremost.

The one reason I will not say "Never again!" this time is because I believe Creature has a right to have a Father Figure present in his/her life.  A Father is not merely a Sperm Donor - it is someone who sticks around through thick and thin - who is there to support you through the good times and the bad.  Not being biologically related means jack shit.

So maybe, who knows, eventually it'll happen. It is a matter of never saying never.

In the meanwhile, I'll leave you with a link to an article I've come across which entails advice for men [or women] who may wish to get involved with a Single Mother.  I found myself mentally nodding at everything listed in this article, thus my sharing it with you lot.

Single Motherhood: A Plethora of misconceptions.

Single Parenthood is something there is very little knowledge about unless it affects you.  At least that seems to be the case in Malta.  A lot of people are under the impression that by not listing the child's father on the birth certificate, this will automatically entitle you to shitloads of benefits.  The reality of it all is far from this being the case.

First of all, I find it pretty demeaning that the only way to not list the father on the birth certificate is "Father Unknown".  It very rarely is the case that the father is truly not known.  Most of the time, it is purely a case of the Sperm Donor not shouldering his responsibilities.  To me, the whole "Father Unknown" thing is offensive not only to the mother, but to the child as well.  It automatically sheds a bad light on them both.  In truth, this should be amended to say something along the lines of "Deadbeat Dad" which would reflect the reality of the situation more accurately.

I have been doing some research out of necessity and so I'll be sharing the information I have obtained so far with you lot in an attempt to clarify some common misconceptions.

The only benefit you get is Children's Allowance, if you're employed.

Children's Allowance is a Government Aid given to all parents - be they married, cohabiting or single.  For more in depth information, you can either clicky here if your annual income is less than €23,983.00, or here if it exceeds the aforementioned amount.  Should you receive Child Support from the Sperm Donor, this must be declared as it will affect the amount you receive.

If your child happens to be affected by a mental or physical disability, you may be eligible for the Disabled Child Allowance, which is over and above the Children's Allowance.

If you happen to be a Foster Parent, there is an allowance for you too that you can apply for.

Here you will find listed the Maximum amounts that are possible to be obtained weekly and annually, as well as some additional information regarding the different benefits mentioned so far..

If you have clicked the above link, you will notice something called Maternity Allowance.  I will clarify this as it might be a bit confusing.  Maternity Allowance is paid to you only if you're either a) unemployed or b) will not be availing herself from Maternity Leave which would usually be paid for by the employer.  The application must be submitted either once yo reach your eighth month of pregnancy or within six months from the birth date.

Maternity Leave in Malta is in the process of changing.  Up until last year, we were entitled to 14 weeks of paid Maternity Leave - 4 weeks of which must be taken before Baby is due.  As of this year, an extra 2 weeks were added on which would be paid for by the Government at the rate of €160 weekly.  To apply for these extra 2 weeks, one must collect a form from their local Social Security Office.  Next year [2013], there should be another extra 2 weeks added on to bring the total amount of weeks up to 18.

So, what happens if you decide to quit your job and become a full time single parent?  Well, for starters, you'll be looking at Energy Benefits whereby you can apply to receive a subsidy to help you cover the costs of Water & Electricity bills.

If you happen to be unable to breastfeed for medical reasons, you can also apply for a Milk Grant which will require an official document to be issued by your doctor, and once it is approved, it would be issued to be from Baby's birth up until s/he is 40 weeks of age.

There is also another benefit, which is the equivalent of the dole, called the Single Unmarried Parents' Allowance which is applicable only if you're unemployed or work up to a maximum of 8 hours per week and earn no more than €50 as a gross amount.


If you live in a rental property, you can also look at claiming Housing Benefits whereby you'd be given a subsidy by the government that will help you cover your monthly rent.  Further information can be obtained by clicking here.


Last but not least, you can also apply for the EU Food Vouchers however I was not able to find much information about them.  They normally are applied for when you've got a case of a low-income family, and are limited to items such as Pasta, Rice and some other basic foods.  


You do not start receiving all these benefits immediately.  The first thing that is processed is the Children's Allowance, followed by the Single Unmarried Parents' Allowance, and then followed by everything else.


To place any claims, you will need your National ID Card as well as a Copy of your Bank Statements, since any  savings you have sitting in your bank account will be taken into consideration.  Any other paperwork required will be asked for depending on your particular case.


If you need further information for yourself or someone you know, feel free to call on 159 Monday - Saturday from 8a.m. til 2p.m.  On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, the lines stay open til 6p.m.  Alternatively, visit http://www.socialsecurity.gov.mt.  Please rest assured that any information discussed is covered by the Data Protection Act, therefore you're safe to discuss things in detail as they will remain confidential.

it is better financially to be employed.  It is a matter of weighing your options - you can either provide your child a more comfortable life financially, but miss out on a heck of a lot, or be around for all the important events in your child's life but live on an extremely restricted budget.  Should you have to face that decision, good luck- it'll be tough either way.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's Supermum!

In a few weeks' time, I can forget all about "me time" for quite a long while. As unfortunate as it may be, I know that it is out of necessity.



Having said that, I have no intention of spending the next 10-15 years without getting any "me time" - this is parenthood, not a prison sentence.

Parents who have the luck of being in a relationship won't find it that hard to have a break at least for a couple of hours once in a while - however their "couple time" is usually the one to suffer.  This, unfortunately tends to affect quite a lot of relationships - and might even lead to the situation to be so bad that they end up scrapping the relationship altogether.  I had come up with a rough sketch to prevent that prior to my relationship going *poof* - once Creature was a few months old, at least once a week, I would set in place "date night" - and I use the word 'night' very loosely there, since it might be a few hours in the morning or afternoon, not just the evening.  "Date night" was to be accompanied by good communication, and I think it would have worked out.


Once things changed, and I found myself facing Single Parenthood, that rough sketch flew out of the window.  I started doing a bit of research to find out how other Single Parents cope.  I won't have the luxury of another adult being around at night, for example, since I live on my own.  So I need to figure out to the best of my abilities how to recognise the signs that something is wrong, and know what to do in advance.  Prevention is better than cure, as they say.  For a worrywart like me, that certainly seems like one cliche with quite a lot of validity.


After talking to a few friends who are either Single Parents, or their partner is not around most of the time for one reason or another [e.g. working abroad], as well as doing some reading up, I think I may have come up with the beginnings of a rough sketch of a plan.  I'm not able to finalise it until Creature is here, of course - and some pieces of info I will need, I need to wait a few weeks or moths to obtain - however, it is a start.  So, here you go:

Plan ahead
It is late at night, and you run out of formula milk.  Or your child has a fever in the middle of the night and you're out of ibuprofen.  Or even less dramatic - you have a virus yourself, and you're too busy throwing up to care for your baby. Crap.

 These are very common scenarios unfortunately - so you have to be able to deal with the situation accordingly.  Some ideas of how to cope include:

• Find out if there's an emergency babysitting service in your area – while these services can be pricey, they can often provide help fairly quickly.
• Develop an "emergency list" of friends and family members you know you can call on.
• Find out where the closest pharmacies are, and what other shops stay open til late.  In a place such as Malta, where 24/7 opening hours are extremely rare, it is important to know who to refer to if need be.

If only!!

 Have childcare back-up plans
In Malta, we still have the awesome custom of having babies and children looked after by family members for the vast majority of the time.  Whilst I believe it is a good thing, I feel that a back-up plan is always necessary.  When I was discussing this with my own mother, she seemed on the verge of taking offence just because I mentioned the words "Day Care."

In truth, it is way cheaper to have family, or perhaps friends, babysit your child - but you have to keep in mind that everyone has their own life to live and there will be times when your usual babysitters won't be available.  Or, an emergency arises which involves both them and you.  Who will babysit your child then?

I have identified a couple of daycare centres in my area which I'll be checking out soon enough to find out their prices and whatnot.  I'm leaning towards a particular one so far from the information I got off their website - purely because they're available 24/7 and provide Home-based babysitting if necessary.  Since I don't yet know what shifts I'll be working once I return back to work  after maternity leave, knowing they don't have strict hours by when children ought to be picked up - as well as it being within walking distance from home - tends to score this centre a few extra points in my books.  I will go into more detail about this later on though - perhaps in another blog entirely dedicated to day cares etc.

Swapping babysitting services with other parents is also another alternative.  If you have any friends with children of their own, you may wish to have them babysit your child on one occasion, and then repay back the favour in kind.  This means that your children will get play dates! Therefore, you'll have killed two birds with one stone.

Swallow your pride
This is probably the hardest thing to do - however it will be necessary to not only accept help when offered, but to actually ask for it.  I have issues with this myself as I feel like I'm being a burden to others if I ask for stuff - however, bit by bit I'm having to grow accustomed to it.

I guess the key to it all is remembering that it is all for your child, at the end of the day - so by asking for/accepting other people's help, you're really just vocalising Baby's needs on his/her behalf.

Build a social network


I find this pretty hard because I've always been an introvert and quite selective on who I make friends with.  So I guess I will also have to change this and be less of an anti-social hermit for Creature's sake.  I have no idea how it will work out - but I have to try.

Look after yourself
A lot of parents stretch themselves too thin and forget they have needs.  I admit that I am guilty of this - I tend to bring other people's needs before mine.  However, it is important not to neglect yourself.

I have lived with the attitude of not really caring what happens to me as long as those I care about are safe.  Now, Creature's safety and well-being will rely on my own.  This means that I have to eat well, and be healthy, not just for his/her sake but for my own sanity as well.

I guess that a modified version of my original plan still needs to be retained.  Instead of "Date Night", I will have to come up with a healthy dose of "Me Time" and make sure I don't talk myself out of it.  I can already see me as being one of them stereotype parents you see in movies where they tell the babysitter that the emergency contact numbers are on the fridge, and who call several times throughout the night to check in on their child.  Ah well, we'll see how it goes when the time comes.

Who's your daddy?

Usually in my blogs, I tend to share information.  Today, I'm asking for information.

I was brought up within the traditional family model - mother, father, siblings, and a dog.  That family model nowadays is becoming more and more uncommon.  You have single parents, no parents whatsoever, two mums, two dads, step-parents etc etc.  Previously these different Family Models were pretty uncommon.  For a parent to be a single parent, usually they'd need to be widowed back then.

I now find myself facing single parenthood myself.  I can't help but think, "How will I explain to Creature why other children have two parents, and s/he doesn't?" or "How will I manage to deal with things such as Father's Day, or compositions given at school entitled "My Father"?"  What about the real possibility of bullying?  There are so many questions to which I don't yet have an answer! I know that I cannot have an answer for everything - and yet, it doesn't stop me from trying.

I know these things are a few years away, however the reality of the situation is as it is, and the sooner I come up with a vague outline of a plan, the better. 

So - what can you lot tell me? Any advice? Besides from not stressing out, that is - I appreciate it, but your telling me not to stress out won't make a difference.