4th April 2012:
So, I won't be writing about what's going through my mind right now or I'll start sounding like a broken record. [Yes, still thinking about the return to work thingy].
OK fine, I'll write some more about it whilst my food is done cooking [mmmmmm pasties]. I did some reading up on Separation Anxiety and it seems like the vast majority of articles I came across focus on the kind of Separation Anxiety children tend to feel when they have finally realised that they are a separate person from their primary carer. This is caused by their lack of understanding of the concept of time. If they don't see their primary carer, they end up not knowing if or when s/he'll come back. This is what causes them to panic and be anxious about it.
There is little out there about how parents are meant to cope with it when they are the one experiencing the anxiety. All I kept reading was "don't worry too much" or "don't feel guilty" bla bla bla. It is one thing to say it, and a completely different thing to be able to do it. I suspect they don't delve much into it so as not to tell you how awful it really can be.
*sniffs the air* mmmmmm pasties.
OK, where was I? Ah yes.
I am now waiting to find out what shifts I'll be working to try and figure out how the heck I'm going to manage being a Working Single Parent.
I'm told that stay-at-home mums end up regretting staying at home as the lack of adult company drives them crazy. I would rather experience that than miss out on my daughter's childhood. Ah well, I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side. *insert Stoner puns here*
Heh, sorry. Although I don't smoke pot myself, I can't help but think of it whenever that expression is used.
Right now, I'm focusing a lot on the Pagan Mama facebook group as it is allowing me to do some reading up and discuss topics related to both Parenting and Paganism with others in similar situations as I am. It also helps me create and find information that is easily accessible to children - which I'm keeping on file for Morgan.
Yesterday I started framing the Faerie Oracle deck so that eventually I'll hang up all 66 frames in Morgan's room. Well, 65, perhaps. The first card is left blank for the person owning the deck to draw their own Faerie Guide. I may keep that for Morgan to doodle when she's a bit older.
Yesterday it was relatively uneventful. I tidied up, I spent time with Morgan. We played, we watched the first episode of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys together, and then we went for coffee with my mum.
I also got this Plaster of Paris kit for her with a Fairy Mirror mold and a Fairy Name Plate mold for her. I will look into them at a later date though.
Oh, and the washing machine repair dude came over and fixed it for me. Turns out a Colour Catcher sheet got stuck in the filter. Oops! That's what I get for trying to be economical and eco-friendly I guess! Needless to say, I then switched myself on to Laundry Mode.
My mum got Morgan a couple of board books,and a deck of flashcards in Maltese. They will come in handy as it is somewhat difficult to find interesting books in Maltese.
6th April 2012:
On Wednesday, I baked Sugar Cookies. I'm lucky if there was 1 that turned out round. They were edible though. And no one died of food poisoning. Yesterday [Thursday], Morgan and I spent a pretty relaxed day. I swept the floors, tidied up, and cleaned up the house as much as possible whilst battling the ants that decided to show up overnight. We played, listened to music, watched The Lorax online, and she napped quite a bit.
I set up 3 altars - one dedicated to the Maiden,the other to the Mother, and the last to the Crone. At about 6pm, friends started to show up. We were 7 in total - including Morgan and myself - and we celebrated the [almost] full moon, had banter, ate and drank. When they left, my fridge had more stuff in it than what it had before they came over!
Once everyone left, I fed Morgan her last bottle of the day, and put her to bed. I joined her soon after. I had aa pretty crappy night's sleep - was still stressing out over the work thingy, so I kept waking up. Seems like insomnia is making a harsh comeback now that I'm really stressing out over something. Yay!
At around 6am, Morgan woke me up to clean her up and feed her, and she went back to sleep soon after. I did some housechores, and managed to cut her fingernails as she slept. Once it was time for her next feed, I called my mum and we agreed to meet up and go for a walk by the seaside with Morgan. Bad idea. Not even 5 minutes into it,I got a splitting headache that turned into a migraine. That is what I get for going out in direct sunlight. I swear I was born in the wrong country.
I was really annoyed at this place where we went to grab a bite. They expect children to show up at their food outlet. The highchair in the corner was proof of that. And yet, the entrance to their shop has no ramp, and they have no flipping baby changer meaning I had to change Morgan's poopy nappy in her pram, with people eating a couple of tables away from the most remote corner I could find. Argh!!! It was really awkward. I know I won't be returning any time soon.
Once we left, we went over to my Grandma's, fed Morgan, tried to have a nap to get rid of the migraine, and then came back home. Migraine is still pestering me - it is currently 11:36pm. Hopefully it will leave by morning.
|Morgan & myself @ B'bugia [06/04/2012]|