Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Don't give in to bullying

From the moment you tell someone that you're pregnant, you're flooded with information, advice, babysitting offers, and gifts from well-wishers and peope who mean well and care about you. Gradually, the circle expands and it begins to include Other Mothers, and people you don't know, but who feel they should give you their input.

Whilst it is nice to hear other people's experiences, and undoubtedly, learn a thing or two from them that you didn't know before.... well.... it tends to get  annoying.

Don't get me wrong - I myself am grateful for all the input and advice I've been given. But, I think the bst advice I have ever been given was by a friend of mine who recently had her first child.

"Don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to."

Then above advice was handed out whilst we were discussing Breastfeeding vs Formula Milk Bottle Feeding.  Both have their merits - but somehow it seems like people tend to take a frowny attitude towards you if you dare say that you're even considering NOT to breastfeed.  This may lead to your feeling pressurised into breastfeeding, even though you didn't wish to, for whatever reason.

The same pressure can be felt in other circumstances too. For example, when good friends/family members go "You will have to let me baby sit once the child is born!" How do you deal with that? Do you say yes just to avoid hurting their feelings? Do you say "We'll see" and take things as they come? Or do you politely decline their offer?

Or how about the over-enthusiastic 'Aunt'/'Uncle' who makes all these plans for your child and tells you all about how they plan to shower the child with gifts and sweets and spoil them rotten? Or who start buying lots of random junk that you yourself were hoping to avoid ever allowing in your house? Or Gods forbid you have a girl..... all those pink, frilly clothes? Or in the case of a boy..... tons and tons of blue clothes, cars, trucks, and other stereotypical boy-things? Do you resign yourself and just quietly deal with it, maybe by telling yourself you can re-gift the unwanted gifts?

Not to mention to plethora of name suggestions that will be thrown about by every Tom, Dick and Harry who happens to realise that you're pregnant. How do you tell, say, 100 people that whilst you think their own name is fantastic, you would rather not name your child after them.

Everyone seems to become a doctor, and give you health advice, and some even go as far as diagnosing your child with whatever disease [be it an illness or just an uneasiness] they reckon s/he is suffering from.

The above are just a handful of extremely common scenarios that you get to experience - some can occur on a daily basis for quite some time!

Do not let others dictate your decisions for you.You're the parent. You know what is best in your circumstances. Make your own decisions and don't let the well-meaning bullies win.

1 comment:

  1. Agreed... after all if you err it sounds sillier to say 'I did it because someone else told me to' than if you say 'I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do'