Friday, 27 January 2012

Is this the real life?

Last night was yet another sleepless night.  Managed to grab half an hour shut eye this morning, and then 'packed' my laundry which was to be brought at the parents' house to make the most out of the sunny day.  Since they have roof access, it means I can get much more done in a day laundry-wise at theirs rather than at my place - where I only have a small-ish back yard.

Mon  Frère  picked me up along with three bagfuls of laundry, and breakfast was had with my soon-to-be sister-in-law who at the moment is somewhat unwell [thus her being at home rather than at work today].  Laundry day was then commenced.

Right now, everyone in my family - and I'm sure pretty much all you people who are worthy of the title Friend - is trying to deal with the reality of the situation whereby the pregnancy is soon to cease and Creature will actually be in my arms.  To be able to physically see, hear, touch, and most importantly smell, him/her will surely be surreal at first.

Yesterday, my mum was quite flabbergasted at the thought that she will officially be a grandmother in a few days.  Whenever I asked her what was on her mind, she couldn't provide me with an answer.  Her thoughts were all over the place.  I understand where she's coming from as it is similar to my own thoughts.  There is a certain degree of fear - a large degree, that is - and shitloads of insecurities.  There is also curiousity, anxiety, excitement and a million other emotions.

When I asked my soon-to-be sis-in-law how she feels about it, she said she's a bit panicked and would have liked to achieved a few personal goals before Creature got here - such as quitting smoking, being healthier and being richer.  She asked, "Can s/he not stay in there a bit longer?"

I also can relate to her thoughts.  I wish I was in better shape and in a better financial situation myself.  *cue text from landlady re:rent payment as I'm typing this*  I guess I have to make the best out of things as they are.

What I would like is a vat full of that amazing pink liquid in which I can plop my brain and let it soak for a good few days.  I know it is useless worrying about stuff now - and that there is no going back.  And yet, I can't help myself.

*insert generic fist-shaking towards Christine's general direction here*

1 comment:

  1. It would be inhuman for you not to feel scared and anxious and excited now. I am sure that soon enough these feelings will be replaced by others... sometimes positive, sometimes more negative. It would be an unlife if we don't allow ourselves to feel as many emotions as possible.